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It's been a long time coming but I fear I may have been unkind

114 replies

Sparetoes · 08/03/2024 21:05

DH died and as is apparently often the case, "our" friendship group completely disappeared. Even let me down over help they'd offered for the funeral (yes I posted at the time).

Since then, I've formed new friendships and quite an active social life and have learned that they've been gossiping about me living it up on DH's money and not behaving like a widow should etc etc.

I haven't heard from them at all in months and months (these are people DH and I socialised with approx once a week, people who assured him they'd look out for me. All couples, which I think is probably relevant). I see them occasionally at social things with a wider circle and do just enough to be polite. They do the same.

Anyway I was having coffee with a group and one of the women happened to be there. We were talking about plans for the weekend. I said "I'm going to see Wicked Little Letters, does anyone want to come?"

This woman's response was "what on your own"

My reply " well when your husband dies and the people you thought were friends disappear, then spread nasty gossip about your attempts to carry on living, you kind of just have to get on with it, but actually, I've found I enjoy going to the pictures alone".

She was very spluttery and embarrassed, then one of the men saved the day by offering to come with me which I'm sure she'd disapprove of and we talked about the film/arrangements.

Anyway, did I go too far?

OP posts:
iwafs · 08/03/2024 21:07

No, it was perfect. They bloody deserve a spade to be called a spade.

DrunkenElephant · 08/03/2024 21:07

No you didn’t.

Im so sorry you were let down when you needed support the most, they are not your friends as you well know, and she deserved to be told. I hope it gets back to the rest of the nasty bitches too.

Bumblebee413 · 08/03/2024 21:07

No. You’re good xxx

Lifebeganat50 · 08/03/2024 21:09

Well done-that was the perfect response

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/03/2024 21:09

Nah, fuck it.

PoochiesPinkEars · 08/03/2024 21:09

Perfect. Well done. Carry on.

SquishyBeanBag · 08/03/2024 21:10

Well done!! So sorry for your losses.

Gloriousgardener11 · 08/03/2024 21:10

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband and your response was spot on.
Well done you for calling out this sort of behaviour, anyone would think we were still living in Victorian times.

Grapesandcheesetwo · 08/03/2024 21:10

From the way you describe it, it sounds appropriate and not unkind at all. It may have made her think, which is a good thing.

Mummyofthewildones · 08/03/2024 21:10

I think your response was utterly justified. How dare they. 💐

heldinadream · 08/03/2024 21:10

High five! You said exactly the right thing.
I remember your other post. Good to know you're doing OK. Enjoy the film!

PastorCarrBonarra · 08/03/2024 21:11

I think that your comment was pitched just right.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 08/03/2024 21:11

No. And I think I love you.

Bravo.

minou123 · 08/03/2024 21:12

It was slightly passive aggressive.......but I love it. ❤️

No, you didn't go too far. It was perfect.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/03/2024 21:12

Hmmmmm, maybeee... but no going back now 👍🏻😂 Who cares?

They can stew. I'm glad you're busy and social and moving forward with your life. She sounds a tad wet anyway.

A big hug to you .

republicofjam · 08/03/2024 21:14

Perfect response 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

EmmaEmerald · 08/03/2024 21:14

nicely done. What a horrible bunch they sound. Time to ditch them? Or certain individuals?

also it’s 2024! How can anyone still be horrified at the thought of some people going to the cinema alone? Fine if she doesn’t want to, but the squeak of horror is bizarre.

AuntMarch · 08/03/2024 21:14

Far from it, I think you were far more polite than I would have been!

Headstarttohappiness · 08/03/2024 21:14

Brilliant utterly brilliant! Holding them accountable for their behaviour and in public too! I’m so glad and impressed that you had the presence of mind to come up with the right words in the moment.

What grade A shits they sound and such a crassly insensitive remark to make. As if grieving is hard enough all ready.

I hope you have a great time and enjoy the film.

CharmedCult · 08/03/2024 21:14

I think that was a really dignified response actually.

weebarra · 08/03/2024 21:14

No, I remember your previous post and they really let you down at a time when you needed them. They deserve to feel bad.

Bruisername · 08/03/2024 21:16

Well hopefully this has spread around the group and they reflect on their behaviour

never feel bad for telling the truth!

Aydel · 08/03/2024 21:16

Marvellous response. My mother had exactly the same from their couple friends when my Dad died.

Autienotnautie · 08/03/2024 21:17

Brilliant well done 👏

BusySittingDown · 08/03/2024 21:18

👏👏 Well fucking done! You played it perfectly.

I'm so sorry that you've been let down by your so called friends at a time when you needed them the most. I'm so glad that you've managed to find a new social circle and you're making the best of life. That's what you need to do.