How much interest do you expect friends to take in your baby/child?

[ShoelacesAndStrings]

No Kids yet here and I’m wondering what the norm is after a discussion with friends.

TIA

No much really but it depends on so many things.
Parents who meet up with friends who are also parents may be more interested as they have more in common.
I think it's wrong to expect friends to take any more than a casual interest in your kids. I think asking 'hey how are you? How are the kids doing? Great .... and then you move on with whatever you're talking about or doing.
Other people's children or grandchildren really aren't that interesting ...

There is no normal. Some are interested in kids, others aren't.

Minimal 😂
Your own baby is really only fascinating to you.
I'd prefer my friends to be interested in me.
Once you have kids you tend to develop new friends that have kids so you don't bore each other to death. (I do have and love my kids but not other people's)

I think it depends on the kid/parent.

Most of my friends I just ask how they're doing and move on. I don't want to or need to know that they done well in gymnastics or whatever. If it's my nieces or nephews or even my best friend's kids then I'll take more of an interest. Would expect the same from them for my kids.

Same note I don't buy them Xmas or birthday gifts unless I see them lots and spend time with them. I have a few mum friends through my kids but again it's a different scenario so we may talk about our kids as my kids spend time with them.

Hope that helps

Just so that I don’t drip feed before too many people reply.

The Mother in question said that she sees her baby as “Our Group project” because it takes a village. I think that’s more investment than many people would care to have in their friend’s baby so I’m wondering what most people expect.

Ha. She’s deluded.

I expect no interest from my friends. In reality, they do care but I would never assume that they would.

I purposely say to my childless friend ‘you’re welcome to come to the birthday party but I can’t see why you want to’ and she thanks me! 😂

The Mother in question said that she sees her baby as “Our Group project”

Mah-ha-ha-ha. 😂 No way.
I'd be taking a very big step back.

"Our Group Project" 😂

If you weren't involved in the conception processes I think you missed the voluntary sign up sheet to be forced to partake in the group project!

Oh Lordy, she’s nuts. I have no interest in other people’s children at all, and don’t expect any in mine. I will always be polite about them, of course, would help if asked, and would hate to offend, but I really don’t give a shit.

Oh dear! Is she the first to have a baby and feeling anxious about being left out?

I expect my friends to show (or fake!) an interest in my DC because they're a big part of my life - the biggest part, really. Just as I show an interest in their DC, families, work with varying levels of sincerity.

My DC are my responsibility though and certainly not a group project for my friends who have enough on their own plates.

Maybe she just wants to to feel included?
She is obviously delusional though. I love my kids but equally, they are hard work at times. My friends kids or my kids friends I will take a little interest in how they're doing.
No more than that.

I've felt isolated after friends disappeared when I had kids. I had them young before they all did and even though I was still interested in meeting up socially and keeping in contact my best friend hardly ever saw me or contacted me. I do think if it's a true friendship you should be interested in their child to an extent as it becomes the main part of their life. It doesn't mean that you have to talk about the kid all the time but you can't pretend it doesn't exist. My friend who disappeared has just recently had a baby and is back in regular contact, sending me pics of the baby, asking my advice and wanting help. Funny, that.

I don’t expect anything but I have a group of close friends that I’ve known for 20 years and we’re all part of each other’s children’s lives. The kids have all grown up together and are like close cousins.

One of our group is child free by choice and she loves being the very cool ‘aunt’.

CF alert. The ‘village’ almost only ever works one way.

Be involved if you want to; if you don’t, you don’t have to.

She is being delusional. She needs to realise this attitude will lose her all friends. I had a friend like that and I took a step back. I have no interest in helping to bring her kid up. Safe to say we aren't really friends anymore and our group rarely see her. She brought it on her self

Kids are a parent's responsibility.

None, I don't take much interest in my friends children.

I'll be nice to them if I see them but I'm certainly not going to help raise them or babysit.

I’m childfree so I can’t answer from the point of view of how much input I expect in my child, but when it comes to my friends who have children I always ask about them, how they are etc, I like any social media posts I see, I buy cards and presents for special occasions, I talk to, play with and generally interact with the children if I go to my friends house or if we do something where the children come along and I sometimes babysit. I don’t see the children as a group project between us though, they’re my friends children not mine and I think that’s a pretty normal viewpoint because I don’t know anyone who expects their friends to be involved to that level, or anyone who is involved to that level in their friends children.

Ask after kids in passing generally. If there is an issue illness, bullying then more chat but for the most part all good, possibly a passing mention of any exciting news. Whinge to each other about being tired etc too but not too much.

Who is included in this ‘our’?

Everyone in our friendship group it seems.

Just a basic interest in how she/child are really.
I dint really understand what she is wanting though? Does she think the child will be getting gifts and being spoiled by the group?
Her child. No responsibility from anyone else imo.

Lol, she's massively entitled by the sound of it.

Is she like this with other things too or just her DC?

She is like it with other things. If there’s a cause or subject that she’s passionate about, recently allotments, then she seems to think we should care /fundraise as much as she does but I really didn’t expect it to extend to her baby son.

None, but I admit I am pleased when my friend who has absolutely no interest in children remembers a birthday, or sends a photo (generally of a train) that they think DC might like.

I'm guessing this her first baby. She will quickly realise that after the obligatory congratulations and the coochy-coo isn't he /she cute stuff, interest will quickly drop off, unless it's the grandparents, aunties etc