How much interest do you expect friends to take in your baby/child?

[ShoelacesAndStrings]

No Kids yet here and I’m wondering what the norm is after a discussion with friends.

TIA

Oh it was DEFINITELY going to extend to her DC. Good luck!

A group project?

Does she realise that she has a small human not a homework assignment?

Seriously though, she’s being a CF and sounds like she’s a bit self absorbed. I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate you telling her exactly how to raise her child and she’s probably just looking for free stuff and babysitting. Also, first time parents don’t always realise that not everyone likes their child as much as they do.

In what context did she say this and how did people react?! If it was in person I genuinely think laughter would be the best response, but I realise you may have missed the moment now...

I expect my friends to show the same amount of interest in my children as they do my job - that is, they might occasionally ask about it/them and if there was a real problem or big news they'd be sympathetic and listen, but there's no expectation that it's a regular topic of conversation.

Not much, I mean if we are visiting with each other, I'd expect them to be kind and considerate to my dc and to take them into account in what we are doing. So I'm thinking here about houseguests, but if you come visit me, don't throw a strop because you want to go out for a pub meal at 8pm instead of eating at home, because that's too late for me to be dragging dc out for a meal. Or to want to stay up til midnight getting wasted on Christmas Eve knowing dh/I will be up at 5:30am with dc wanting to open stockings. And it's nice if they will engage them in conversation or even keep them busy with an activity so I can cook us all a meal if you're staying here an expecting to be fed.

But beyond that, I don't really expect friends to ask about my dc or show interest in seeing photos of them or anything like that. I can't imagine my children are remotely interesting to other people. With the exception of new babies, I'm not interested in anyone else's children either.

Polite interest would describe my/my friends feelings towards one another's DC. I always ask about their kids and care/hope that they're happy and doing well and I'd say my friends are the same about my kids. That's it. No one else's kid is my responsibility or my 'project' FFS!

Your friend sounds like a pain.

I have 3 kids and find other people's children only minimally interesting although I do pretend to be interested than I am. I am certainly not part of the village that raises them though!

That's kind of sweetly bonkers.
She's lining you all up for babysitting.

I care about and am invested in my friends' children. I would do what I can to help. On here though a lot of people seem to have a different view of friendship in general. I'm secretly not convinced many posters have ever had real friends tbh.

Bet you have lots of friends...jeez.

I expected very, very little, but ended up disappointed to receive pretty much zero interest and zero support after the initial 'look at the newborn' stage.

I don’t expect friends to have a huge interest. But a little caring. The same way I care about how their parents are doing and how family is doing. Be polite, show interest.

When you become a parent friendship groups shift slightly anyway. The friends I still have years after having my DD have shown some level of interest in her.

I find people take more interest in other peoples pets these days over a human child which I always find bizzare. But each to their own.

Maybe they take more interest in pets because too much interest in children turns them into a group project 😂

Jeez, that “project” thing is bonkers. DP and I are CF but do take an interest in our friends’ children, for some of them we are even close enough to do birthday and Christmas pressies. We don’t do it out of obligation though. If someone told me that I was going to be part of their “project” I’d immediately bristle.

None tbh. Our friends from before we had kids hardly ever see our children, we both socialise with them away from the kids. None of them have their own kids yet.

My boys are 19 and 17 now and I still meet up with a few of the friends I made when they were at preschool. I love to hear how my friend’s children are and what they’re up to in life. They always ask about mine, too.

A person who believes their child is a ‘group project’ sounds incredibly self centred to me. People have their own lives and their own families to care about.

I didn't expect any, aside from people wanting to come for cuddles after the birth.

I love babies so I will join the queue to meet a friend's new baby and have a cuddle, but past the baby stage I really couldn't give a monkeys about other people's kids. I'm happy to chat to their children and will babysit if they have no one else to but I don't go out of my way.

I'm not sure if it's because in my late 20s and early 30s I seemed to be the "go to" for my neighbours asking me to look after their kids often. To the point that they took the piss. I also used to work in a school so I think I'm fed up of other people's children now. Most aren't very well behaved! 😂

My kids are teenagers now, so I have no desire to be involved in anyone else's kid's upbringing, until if/when I have Grandchildren.

And 5 million photos of the baby a day

I never expected anything but politeness toward my dc from my friends. Some people love other peoples' children, and some don't.

I assumed the OP was asking how much interest you expect from your friends from before you had your children. I'm much more interested in the children of the friends I've made through my children, because that means they're the same age as my kids and (usually) friends with them.

No one is saying that their kid is their friend's responsibility but my child is an extension of me - I'd be hurt if they said they 'didn't give a shit' about the most precious thing in my life unless of course we weren't actually that close. My close girl friends, I genuinely love them and their children almost by default . They bear no responsibility to mine but I hope they care.

Move to a new village!

"How much interest do you expect friends to take in your baby/child?"

Somewhere between None and Minimal.
Same level of interest I have in other people's kids in not related too.
I'd buy gifts at relevant times of the year, and I'd like a Facebook photo and comment. But I'd be pretty uninterested if a friend rocked up with a 3 hour long power point presentation about their 7 year olds sports day participation award..

I may be the odd one though.

The Mother in question said that she sees her baby as “Our Group project"

I'd be laughing at her and point blank saying.. no thank you.. you're the momma, we're all not the mommas.. mind how you go, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord saw fit to split ya.

I care very much about my friends' children and hope my friends feel similarly about mine.

😂 my DD says similar when she wants me to babysit....though it's funny when she says it, because she's my DD and I love my DGS.

If my friend said it I'd want to move villages!