How do I tell my neighbour I can hear her?

[BoomBoomBoomLemmeHearYouSayWayOh]

We moved in semi-recently and I can hear my neighbour having sex.

First time I thought it was a one off (maybe his birthday, 😂) as I didn't hear anything the first few months.

But now 2 or 3 times a week I can hear her (only her not him) as if she's in my hallway!
It's not a creaky bed or anything that can't be helped, it's loud, dramatic moans and 'yes, yes' type stuff

I have preteen/young teen kids who can clearly hear her too and it's really starting to piss me off when she starts.

DH and I manage to have sex without the whole house knowing. Never mind the neighbours.

I don't know her that well so I don't know whether to

A) bang on the wall (which I did last time but it was only my fist and I don't think she could hear it over her own squeals, so next time I'll use a shoe)

B) Wait till I see her and say something, which I have planned to do but just not seen her and I feel knocking on her door is way too intrusive. And WTF would I say.

C) put a note through the door. But again WTF do I write?

I feel almost rude asking her to keep it down in her own home but it's embarrassing sat in bed reading, listening to her howling.

A few nights ago DS was sat in bed with me and she started and he was so embarrassed.

@BoomBoomBoomLemmeHearYouSayWayOh I've had the exact same problem. It's easy to solve without going into detail... I just said something like,

gosh, I'm so sorry if we've been annoying you by being too loud, I didn't realise how thin the walls are until DD/DS said they heard voices coming through from your side a few nights ago. We must have been annoying you guys too. We'll keep it down. Buildings aren't what they used to be!

Never happened again & no one was mortified.

I also had it in another house but the issue was in the living room/kitchen. That time I had someone come and put this over the existing wall, painted it the same as the rest of the room and you couldn't tell at all.

Worked really well.

Interesting fact I read once, is that your hearing is significantly reduced when you are aroused/having sex which explains why some people are so loud, they genuinely might not realise how loud. I'd definitely include something about no downstairs noise is heard, as they might move it down to another room as a solution.

The important thing is to join in. If she's shouting 'Yes, Yes!' You shout 'Yes, Yes, Come on girl, give it to him!' If she moans in pleasure, you moan louder and shout 'Come on, lad, she's loving it!'. If they finish, give a round of applause.
They'll either get quiet or you'll have an interesting friendship going forward.

Plot twist, it isn’t your neighbour. Now that WOULD be embarrassing.

Maybe she's just washing her hair or eating a yoghurt? They have the same effect on women, if the ads are to be believed...

😂😂😂

Herbal essences I suspect

Haha this is great!

Also, I think this is brilliant! As soon as they start up, you start hysterically laughing and banging the wall with a pan. It’ll freak them out so much that hopefully they will stop.

Or: as soon as they start making noise you go and ring their doorbell 😂 (unless they have a camera doorbell that is)

Just bang on the wall. It will soon stop and then you dont actually have to say anything

I’ve obviously missed the point of the thread, but I’m slightly jealous that she’s having loud enthusiastic sex 3 times a week with a baby in the house. Their baby must be a good sleeper!

Sex is a normal part of everyday life. Some people are vocal. I appreciate it would be annoying if it is all the time, but ultimately hearing your neighbours is just part of living in flats or attached properties.

By all means write a note to say the walls are thin and ask them to keep it down; but some of these passive aggressive responses are ridiculous. I don’t think you can expect them to stop completely.

Definitely pop a note through.

My neighbours are well into their 70's and teen DS's room in next to theirs. One night they came down to say they could hear noises and it was annoying them. DH and I went upstairs to investigate and it was quite obvious NDN were at it. Our teens weren't that young but still hadn't clocked on to what they could hear.

OP I am laughing at option A. I would post a note saying please keep the noise down on a "night".

Your user name is very fitting. You should add cutting and generally unkind to it too.

Yeah, I'd go for something like this too.

Change your internet name to "wecanhearyounumber5"

I have known a few girls like that, you would think they where going for 'porn performance of the year' and seem proud about how much of the street heard them.

They deliberately got off on making sure everyone knows, she is not going to stop because you acknowledge it as its what she enjoys. Just like some people like being watched, they like people to hear it and know, but its offensive because it violates others not consenting to be involved.

She's probably one of those exhibitionists who gets a thrill out of knowing people can hear her.

She'll become even louder and even more inappropriate, if so.

Most couples with children learn to have silent sex.

Just let them finish then make exactly the same noises back. Louder mind.

I think I’d be tempted to go round and ask if everything was ok because I heard some really disturbing sounds coming from her house and wasn’t sure if it was a police matter. All very sweetly of course. 😁

Next time she's at it - pop over and ring the doorbell until she answers. When she answers say "oh my gosh - I hope you're ok? I could hear screaming and yelling - I thought something awful was happening - I was just about to call the police!"

I like this suggestion.