Where do I put the 3rd kid?

[Laverlyjarbely]

I really want another child.

we can afford it, especially with the childcare funding.

we have a large car. But it’s our house.
it is a 4 bed, and probably in the future we’d move but for the short/ med future. Not sure where we’d put the 3rd. So as I say 4 bed, but a small 4 bed. All open plan downstairs and 2 double and 2 singles upstairs.

2 dcs have the singles, and we have a double and then the spare/ office is the other one. Both of us wfh, me 3 days and dh 4.

if on mat leave dh would need a quiet place to work and take calls.

remodelling the house is out of the question. It’s a new build so garden is small already, no no real extension. Maybe a small conservatory, but if well move in the med term is it worth it? Maybe garden office, but small garden would it look weird just plonked there? Plus if moving, do i want to?

do I make some of the dcs share? We have a girl and boy so not sure they’d want to share now. They are both still v young, nursery and preschool age.

where could the 3rd go?

Yes but one can have a mortgage and we’d have the 100k from the current second property so it’s whatever.

but if you got made redundant with 3 months notice, why are you waiting until you are redundant to look for a new job, why aren’t you looking straight away.

sorry but it’s true, do you need to go to uni in london to study media studies in london? Or can that be studied closer to home?

^shakeable not shareable

Not all children are interested in going to uni. Mind blown.

But those who do should be able to, surely? That was the whole point of universal free tuition before the mid-nineties, which my parents benefited from but I was too young for.

Whoever it was who claimed that I didn't pay for my university studies is wrong. I'm still paying for it now.

No, I mean that I allow six months in total to find a job. I'm autistic and I don't do well in interviews, so it is wise for me to allow a long time to find another job.

Re the wishy-washy degree comment: the laughter, applause, and thumbs-up icons are because I agree! And you put it in a way that was funny.

5 of us in a 1 bed. Incl 3 kids under 5... trust me you learn to make it work. Hopefully it won't be forever!

You got a means tested grant, your parents paid or you paid? Make your mind up.
They can go to university. With a loan and a job like most people.

I got a means-tested tuition fee grant, a CoL loan, parental support, and worked.

I'm still repaying the CoL loan.

When we had number 3 we used what was then the spare room as a nursery, we are in a 3 bed terrace. 2 oldest girls were already sharing in what was originally the master room, the house was 4 bed when we bought, 1 double room, 3 small rooms. We knocked the 2 smallest through for us and had a spare room, which many on here would classify as a box room but it’s bigger than my bedroom growing up so I consider it a decent single. Anyway, when number 3 was just under 2 we had a change, oldest ( then not quite 8) went into her own room and 2 youngest shared the double beds (5 & just under 2).

There has been lots of change since then, moving due to covid, moving back when covid over and DH WFH. When we moved back home DH needed an office so all 3 girls went in the same room in triple bunks, luckily we had the height in the room but could have managed a double bunk & single bed. Oldest will be 12 soon and the plan is either a garden pod type office or loft conversion. Loft conversion will be ideal long run but far more expensive. We are at least a year from doing either. So far all 3 sharing is working. I usually find the 11 & 9yo in the same bed in the mornings. Oldest dose breakfast and afterschool clubs at high school where her homework is done so she’s not desperate for quiet space just yet.

I grew up in a family where siblings shared. My dbs (8 years between them) had bunk beds until the oldest left home at 20 so it’s just something that’s done as far as I’m concerned.

Thank you. I remember worrying myself sick over types of childcare then out of the blue my husband's job was relocated and I was able to become a sahm ( with the time to look after finances and save)