Where do I put the 3rd kid?

[Laverlyjarbely]

I really want another child.

we can afford it, especially with the childcare funding.

we have a large car. But it’s our house.
it is a 4 bed, and probably in the future we’d move but for the short/ med future. Not sure where we’d put the 3rd. So as I say 4 bed, but a small 4 bed. All open plan downstairs and 2 double and 2 singles upstairs.

2 dcs have the singles, and we have a double and then the spare/ office is the other one. Both of us wfh, me 3 days and dh 4.

if on mat leave dh would need a quiet place to work and take calls.

remodelling the house is out of the question. It’s a new build so garden is small already, no no real extension. Maybe a small conservatory, but if well move in the med term is it worth it? Maybe garden office, but small garden would it look weird just plonked there? Plus if moving, do i want to?

do I make some of the dcs share? We have a girl and boy so not sure they’d want to share now. They are both still v young, nursery and preschool age.

where could the 3rd go?

That’s a real shame. I’ve dealt with many brokers dealing with professional landlords over the years and in truth only heard of a handful of cases where tenants try to pull a fast one and in every case rent guarantee insurance has been a godsend

This was almost 10 years ago, hopefully things have changed for the better for landlords.

So - what are you going to do about #3 anyway?!

I would just go for it. You will always find reasons not to have a baby if you look. Don’t think too far ahead. The baby can be in with you for a year. Things change. You might change jobs or your husband’s company might decide to stop wfh. Whatever happens you will figure it out.

Don't bank you benefiting from the free childcare.
Some parents are worse off because the government isn't funding it fully and nurseries are not always offering the free places.

I already know how our centre will use it, i have an updated contract to reflect it. So for the time being I will base it on the contract we have at hand. If it changes, it changes. If it’s labour who make the change I feel more confident that it will be a fair system. I pay for 2 atm, so anything is cheaper than that

No clue. So I’m debating the below

eldest goes in double with a trundle bed that nanny can sleep on if she comes to visit and a desk we can borrow and I work from kitchen table
middle would move to oldest room
youngest the other room

I think for the majority of people, a third just slots in somewhere, you either sacrifice your home office space for an extra bedroom or you get 2 of them to share. My 3 are split between 2 bedrooms- the 2 girls share and the boy has his own space, and our home office is in our bedroom (DH works from home). If you want a third (and it sounds like you do from your posts) then you just kind of... make it work. And like you say, you plan to move, so its not long term either way. We plan to move at some point so hopefully each kid can have their own room and we can have a seperate office, but for now it works and everyone is happy enough.

"Yeah that’s the downside or the risk but the private rental market as a whole is booming and you can get insurance to cover the cost of unpaid rent. Not housing benefit, no pets and 2 months rent as deposit and Robust landlord insurance. A lot of people make a lot of money. You just got very unlucky. There’s always the option of just flipping it and taking the income."

based on this, please don't rent out these many BTL you have planned without using an proper agent as you would be doing so illegally. deposit can be maximum of 5 weeks rent.

Ok 5 weeks then, and yes we’d just an agent for ease to not be dealing with the day to day

Most people with 3 kids have a 3 bed. I always shared with my sister and my brother had his own room. Just how it is.

As in keep the office and let 2 share.

Have the baby in with you until they sleep through the night then share with the same sex sibling seems the obvious choice. Alternatively spare room and move office in to your bedroom

Also replying to @hotpotlover

How come all the jobs in my STEM field want degrees, sometimes even PhDs?

The "big four" are not the only employers around and we don't all want to be auditors and management consultants.

Those jobs have always needed degrees maybe further degrees. That is stem. Like medicine and law. Those Jobs need degrees.

the big 4 was just an examples of a group of prestigious employers that no longer require degrees

i have 2 degrees and my job doesn’t actually need one

So basically you're happy to risk locking the two kids you have out of law and STEM to have another kid, because they can go work at the big four instead, even they may have zero aptitude for that work and be instead well-suited to medicine or engineering?

Baby in with you and DH for first year then if baby good sleeper same sex kids in the double the other in the single room or if baby is still up in night oldest 2 share for a year or 2 then after that same sex in the double

Yes that’s exactly what I said…good reading. Hopefully logic and comprehension aren’t part of your stem job

they can stay at home
they can work whilst at uni
we can sell out btl to their uni town and buy a HMO
and that’s IF our earnings stay stagnant

there are options.

Most parents, if they can afford to obviously, having saving accounts towards university. That's how they find the 500 a month.

You are just going big scale with property instead.

You can afford 3 children if you aren't planning private school. You have space for a third child. Its just whether you want to have smaller compromises

On mat leave your baby would not need a bedroom during the day. Keep a crib in your room.

After that - well you need an extension.

they can stay at home
they can work whilst at uni

Both Oxford and Cambridge prohibit students from working during term time and require term-time living within a certain area to study. Term-time work will impact adversely on the time available to study, even if it is allowed.

we can sell out btl to their uni town and buy a HMO

You might look at what BTL prices are like in university towns before stating that so confidently.

and that’s IF our earnings stay stagnant

Given the number of people in my circle who are telling me that their employers or even whole industries are laying people off, don't bank on salary increases.

Since when do parents have to provide entirely for every possible hope or dream? Bonkers.

We save £50 a month for each child, with a bulk of £1k opening the S&S account

i don’t believe in private school, I went and tbh I think it’s a bit of a con. We have many grammar schools around us. That’s what we’ll aim for

We had three bed - with a very DIY loft conversation office previous owner had done that DH often used as office - but kids shared till about 6 then we moved.

Small 4 bed - 2 double one single and one box - but downstairs is separated - previous owner once their kids hit teens took larger living room and put in wall - so two separate rooms - did look small when we first moved in from an open downstairs - but works - use front room as office and game room rest of time.

We could also convert shed/outbuilding that already had electric but would take money.

Depending on kids age you should have years to either move or divide up the existing space better.

(Also start saving even small amounts - it was bloody hard for us to do but even a small amount a month and more when you can adds up over 18 years - so they have some money and breathing space at 18 for Uni though quite why so many are stressing about that is bit odd - where we thought we'd be with kids when they were born and where we are now - income and location wise are very different).

OP only asked about which bedroom to put her child in, not for advice on family planning or whether she's failed at parenting because she can't afford to send her child to Oxford in 15 years

firstly that’s oxbridge, they don’t have to go there. Secondly, good job we live a commutable distance from Oxford isn’t it. All of the other redbrick unis permit working. I know I went to one.

we live in a university town, I know the price in our area and many others, we’ll buy with a mortgage and rent the other rooms. I get mortgage discounts through work too

its written in my contract I get a pay rise every year as is dh. So at the bare minimum we get that. We will not be sitting stagnant in the same role for 15 years