Where do I put the 3rd kid?

[Laverlyjarbely]

I really want another child.

we can afford it, especially with the childcare funding.

we have a large car. But it’s our house.
it is a 4 bed, and probably in the future we’d move but for the short/ med future. Not sure where we’d put the 3rd. So as I say 4 bed, but a small 4 bed. All open plan downstairs and 2 double and 2 singles upstairs.

2 dcs have the singles, and we have a double and then the spare/ office is the other one. Both of us wfh, me 3 days and dh 4.

if on mat leave dh would need a quiet place to work and take calls.

remodelling the house is out of the question. It’s a new build so garden is small already, no no real extension. Maybe a small conservatory, but if well move in the med term is it worth it? Maybe garden office, but small garden would it look weird just plonked there? Plus if moving, do i want to?

do I make some of the dcs share? We have a girl and boy so not sure they’d want to share now. They are both still v young, nursery and preschool age.

where could the 3rd go?

You'll figure it out. Loads of people end up working in living areas, your own bedrooms, kids' bedrooms if the kids do end up all "needing" their own bedrooms. During COVID I had a desk in our room and DP worked in DC's room.

A split office/child's room works quite well - timeshare system. Our kids never played in their rooms much until they were upper end of primary at least. Daytime naps don't have to be in the same bed as they sleep in at night. They sleep fine at nursery.

My immediate thought would be that the baby is in your bedroom until they're 1, then they share the double room with their sibling of the same sex and the single room becomes the office.

It is not necessarily ideal, but what lots of people do and by then you'd know whether you'll be staying there in the medium term. A garden office is a reasonable option if you'll be there for a few years at least and makes the room sharing with siblings temporary.

Sofa bed in living room for guests/if you or DH is ill and need to sleep separately etc.

I really wouldn’t plan around childcare funding. There’s no guarantees on anything. There was talk last year about Labour possibly further means testing childcare. If your household income is £100k+, it’s entirely possible you could end up losing some of the benefits as Labour has talked about providing more support for the poorest families. Who knows, but as noted by the PPs, I really wouldn’t be confident / reliant on childcare support regardless of who wins next election
https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/2023/jun/13/labour-rules-out-universal-childcare-for-young-children-in-fiscal-credibility-drive

None of that concerns me in all honesty worst case we pay, eldest will be in school and youngest as on now would be on 30 hrs

Looking back now, with a child in KS2, a child in KS1 and one in Reception, the nursery fees really were the least of the expense for children.

Given your house is small, downstairs is open plan and you wfh, I think they will really need their own room.

What hours do you work? Can one have the other double bedroom that also your desk in it? Otherwise, I think you will do better to rent an office area somewhere locally.

When number 3, a girl, arrived I had G(6), B(4)

Baby in with us until 6 months, then the big two shared until the baby was 2 and climbed out the cot. Boy and baby changed rooms.

The girls shared until we moved at 12 and 6. It was what is was, it was a struggle at times for them, but there was no option.

dh and I work your standard office hrs 9/5. We could put our desk in the eldests room and give her the double. Would work but tbh we’d need to put 2 desks in there and then it’s a bit much, plus feel like it would be encroaching on her space. I’d rather her share I with a sibling I think

definitely not renting an office, that’s just additional expense when I could go to my companies office space. I’d rather pay that extra in a mortgage for a larger house

How much does a garden pod cost anyone know?

Is there room for a desk and chair in your bedroom? Or could you find the space upstairs for one?

We partly converted our integral garage into a playroom. Do you have one you could use as an office?

Does the singles facilitate a double bed? If so you and husband in the single. 1 double for office, 1 double for 2 kids, other single for nursery.

Truthfully… don’t do it
stick at 2. Enjoy what you have and the extra money and space.

I'd just move the office set up elsewhere. I WFH and have never had a separate office room.

Baby goes in cot in your room till 1. Everyone else stays the same. Then baby and same sex sibling move into double/spare and your office moves into single. You can fit two desks and computers in a single room easily.

I’m having our third in the next few weeks. We’re in a 3 bed so our two DDs (10 and 3) have started sharing the good size second bedroom and DS will have the small room as the nursery. DH WFH 99% of the time and has a desk in the corner of the dining room. When I WFH, I sit on the sofa because it’s only once a week.

In your situation, I’d move the two bigger ones into the double spare room and make their room the nursery and the other single an office. If you can fit two desks in the single, great or one of you have a desk somewhere downstairs or in your bedroom.

Our garage is a separate building, so not sure we could use it as such, we’d probably need it converted.

maybe in our bedroom for one desk if we got rid of our ikea wide 6 drawer unit and put some drawers in the wardrobe, would couldnt do without the drawers entirely

Why? I literally yearn for another

It’s 2 of us though, where did you work then?

baring in mind that there’s going to be points when dh would be at home and all 3 kids would be too and he’d be working

We can fit 2 desks in the single no problem, we did it before

From around 5k for a garden office. Heating in winter will cost you a ton.

can you really afford a 3rd? My kids are older now, I only pay after school clubs, but it’s clothes, sports, hobbies, shoes, food (one eats like an adult already), entry tickets, school trips, holidays etc
My kids do 2 sports plus swimming plus instrument. Plus sports gear etc. it all costs a lot.

the room is the least of your worries here.

I obviously don’t regret it as such and love dc3 to bits but for me it has stretched me a little too far. Was nice when she was a baby and the other two were fairly young (4 and 7 when she was born) but as they’ve all become older has been challenging. But everyone’s situation is different.
it just sounds like you’re at the limit of space already and they’re only going to get bigger!

There is really nothing wrong with DC sharing a room. I always shared with my younger sister when I lived at home and it made us very close as adults.

And yes to them getting massively more expensive as they get older. Extra curriculars plus teens being generally expensive.
and how confident are you you’ll never split up?
separating as a mum of 3 has made things harder in terms of housing

Things are easier 2x2. Hotel rooms, holding hands, everthing is much easier and cheaper. Most things really!

I already sometimes struggle finding Hotel rooms big enough for 2 kids. And yes they take more space in the house when they are older.

How will you get 5 BTL properties from one BTL you've just bought with 110k combined income? Why didnt you buy a larger house rather than the BTL?