When people say "you look well"

[speakurmind]

A male colleague said I look well and he liked my scarf. Does this mean I've been looking terrible and I look okay now? I haven't been sick.

We've been introduced a few weeks ago. We very briefly see each other about twice a week.

I think it's just that your family are mean

Yep, definitely code for “fat” here too.

Oh no it isn't

I met up with an old friend today. We hadn't seen each other for ages. The first thing she said to me was "you look well", and I knew it meant exactly that.

There are far too many paranoid folk on here.

Someone said it to me and I assumed they meant I looked fat especially because I was at the gym and they said they hadn't seen me for ages.

They probably didn't mean that I looked fat and it was a sly dig, they don't seem the type but I do think that phrase is a bit ambiguous and I was paranoid about my Xmas weight gain.

Nope.

I remember a girl at school and she was very pretty and I used to tell her, she was looking lovely whenever I saw her. She turned it into an insult saying oh she must be looking like crap other times then, or seek me out for compliments. I realised at 15 years old, no matter how beautiful she was, she had low self esteem.

I only ever say it to mean "you've lost weight"!

I wonder if I've left a trail of confused people in my wake, wondering why I'm calling them fat when they've just lost 5 stone 😂

@RampantIvy Oh no it isn't
Who are you to tell us that it doesn't mean that where we live? Several posters
say it does.

In my world it means you've got a bit if colour. (Instead of being the usual peely wally shade)

Yep, def gained weight. Its code.

You look well means you look well.

It's a nice compliment, nothing more, nothing less, 99% of the time.

Because I never make veiled insults to people. If I thought they looked a bit porky I would not say anything. I find it odd that people would.

When my friend said that I looked well the other day I knew that she meant that I looked well, nothing more.

Why would people do this?

Happy/ healthy/ gained/lost weight/ did make up right/wore make up/look better because didn’t try to wear make up😅 I once spent extra time on my hair and my manager gushed about it and I said ‘I must really spend more time on my hair more often’ and manager said ‘I know’ with a pointed look🙈😅

This.

Maybe some of you need to have a good look at the people you spend time with if they would really meet up with you to insult you

Or
Maybe it is this.
There are far too many paranoid folk on here.
Or people with really low self esteem.

To me, it means you’ve somehow caught his eye and looked particularly nice that day.

I choose to take what people say at face value. I think of it as a compliment.

Me too.

Maybe some of you need to have a good look at the people you spend time with if they would really meet up with you to insult you

@NewName24 posted this ^^

Maybe @Justrolledmyeyesoutloud and @Thursa take note?

'Yer lookin well' is the default greeting in NI. Nothing to do with weight.

@RampantIvy , just because you wouldn't doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
I wouldn't say it but I know people who would.

@NewName24 , Maybe some of you need to have a good look at the people you spend time with if they would really meet up with you to insult you

You sometimes bump into people who you know. You haven't deliberately 'met up' with them.

Or people with really low self esteem.
IRL there are people who have no filter and people who put their foot in their mouth.

Years ago, I bumped into a neighbour from when I grew up. The neighbour said 'You're so slim! You used to be fat'
AFAIK , I have never been overweight (in terms of BMI, but I feel fat if I am over the half-way mark as I'm not of a big build), but it did make me wonder.
I think that the neighbour was actually complimenting me not saying I used to be overweight but got the words out wrong. Well, I hope so anyway. She's actually really nice.

I’m trying to imagine what I would be thinking if I used this phrase.

Tbh if I said that I think it would be meaning that they look better and happier than usual.

Not necessarily that they looked bad before, though.

I’ve had people say it to me on day when e.g. I know I’m having a good hair day (they always sound a bit surprised) so I think other people say it in that way too.

It's an ambiguous phrase but I've always taken it to mean "You're looking particularly fat today". I'm sure they're not meaning any malice but their brain is fighting to think of something polite whilst also thinking of the weight. 'Well' must seem appropriate as subconsciously we think of losing weight as the opposite.

If I said it to you it would mean that you looked great, so how do you differntiate between people who are genuinely complimenting you and people who are just making veiled insults?

You need better friends.

Goodness ! It would never occur to me that it meant I looked particularly fat that day.
It depends on who says it.
I would take it as a genuine compliment from most people. However 3 acquaintances of mine say it to everybody in a sincere tone and I used to believe them when said to me too. From them it's boll*cks 😀
It's just a strategy.