When people say "you look well"

[speakurmind]

A male colleague said I look well and he liked my scarf. Does this mean I've been looking terrible and I look okay now? I haven't been sick.

We've been introduced a few weeks ago. We very briefly see each other about twice a week.

'Looking well' sometimes mean put on weight, but by the replies on here, I guess this might vary by area.

Maybe area has something to do with it 'you look well' 'it looks well' seem to be much more commonly used in the north than when I lived in the south, I could see it being used as a 'you got fat insult' in the south.

The first time I went to a meeting after lockdown with hair done and nice clothes on I got told I look well with a such a note of surprise I did almost take offence :P

I would say this if someone looked particularly nice, eg made an effort with clothes, seemed glowing/happy or their hair make up looked really nice. I know it’s not all about looks but it definitely wouldn’t be if someone gained weight. You should try not to take things the wrong way when compliments are given.

It does have being fat connotations for some people but is that rooted in history where being plump was good, meant you could afford to eat. Same as I used to hear people saying to men "looking prosperous" which again meant fatter perhaps because you've not got a manual job any more so not burning as many calories.

I would only say it to someone I haven't seen for a while and then it would be a genuine they look well as in healthy and enjoying life - not a judgment on their weight or hair or anything. I say it in a way which i hope conveys I am pleased for them and glad they look hale and hearty.

I would never dare to tell someone they look well! I would say they look great. To me and my family it always means you've gained weight if someone tells you that you look well.

This was said to me last weekend by ex colleagues.

I didn’t look really bad before (I don’t think) but I had a very stressful job.

Since then I have lost weight, I am less stressed and sleeping better, so my eyes and skin look healthier too.

So I take it as you look better than before but you didn’t necessarily look bad before, you just look healthier now.

Seriously? People have some weird ass secret language to go around insulting people? How bizarre.

Personally, I'd assume it meant I looked well. Had a good sleep, being more smiley etc

It's just making conversation. Nothing at all to worry about.

Ive always known it as code for " you have gained weight"!

'You look healthy'.

I think it's a middle of the road comment when you want to acknowledge someone's looking nice but don't want to say things can be misconstrued as flirting.

We all have days where we look better, more rested, less tired, less stressed, more put together etc than others.

I've only heard it being a dig about gaining weight on here, but then I also find it weird people would assume a compliment on one day is a dig about another day.

Would people equally take "that's a nice bag" to mean "all your other bags are crap"? Maybe they would.

Why would there need to be a code for telling someone they have put on weight? Either say it (rude) or don't comment at all. What's the point of putting it into a code?

OP, for gawds sake take the compliment! I'm sure he meant you look nice and have impeccable taste in scarves!

We are so useless at accepting compliments in this country (I'm assuming you are UK here). It's not healthy to look for slights. Just accept it at face value, smile and say thanks. Any ulterior motives on the other person's part reflect badly on them and I don't bother worrying myself about them.

Not everything is meant in a nasty way.

This. I would just take it ar face value and accept it means you look well.

Oh I love your FIL 😂

It means 'you've put on weight' where I am from.

Exactly!

I struggle to believe that people go around using it to insult people.

If you thought someone had put on weight you would either not comment or be a lot more obvious/rude about it.

Not give them a compliment which is some sort of a secret code.

Only on MN could this be seen as anything but a compliment.

It's a meaningless greeting of no significance whatsoever IMO.

A lot of people started to say it to me after I lost almost three stone.

"You look well" was definitely code for "you've gained weigh" for my nan, all my aunties and my Mum.

I knew this perfectly plainly from childhood as after whichever poor sod had left, they'd mention the half stone they'd think she'd put on. Merseyside and the North West family.

The exception was an emphatic ,"oooh, don't you look well!" which meant you have a tan.

I met a woman last week I'd not seen in 3 years. She's in her 80s. She said "you're looking well," and I said, "well, I have gained about a stone," and she said "yes, but you are still full of smiles," which is about as positive as that phrase gets around here.

"You look good/great/wonderful" meant they approved of your looks.

If a bloke said it, I bet it means you just loked nice. The crazy gradations of nuance and hidden criticism seemed to be a a matriarchal thing, at least in my experience.

It's code for "you look old and fat but you've made an effort and put some make up on".

In my generation and older in any case (50 plus).

I'm well over 50 and have never heard it interpreted in that way except on MN.
Also, nothing to do with make up.

Happy to be alive I think, especially if you haven't seen someone for a while and they look different because 10 years have elapsed, or you know they've been ill and they look better than expected it's all in the nuance, it's just being 'polite' like when you ask how are you? and the only answer is fine/great.how are you..change the subject

Similarly 'You look bad' means you're looking gaunt and have dark circles under your eyes.