Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

[Friedchickenrocks]

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

@SausageRoll58
Right nasty fucker aren't you

Think I was about 8, at friends house, was in the living room on my own while friend and sister went to fetch snacks. I fell back on to the Sofa and heard a very loud snap. I had sat on my friends violin bow and safe to say it was broken, I was a quiet child and mortified, just couldn’t fess up. The sister got the blame 😂

Children are so random and impulsive some of these things.

I was mostly quite a good child but I can think of a couple of things to put in.

One of my earliest memories. I had a set of animal dominoes made out of cardboard. I was playing one day in my bedroom and I must have done a wee in my potty, or perhaps my little sister had, because I remember looking at this potty full of wee and the domino and thinking "I wonder what would happen if I put it in there?" I put it in and immediately forgot all about it.

Some time later I was playing downstairs and I can remember my mum suddenly appearing in the doorway holding the soggy domino and the potty and asking "What's this?" At first I was fascinated and remember looking at how all the paper layers had curled up away from each other. Then she explained that she would have to throw the whole set away because it was ruined and I was very upset and cried.

Around the same age I suppose. I have no memory of this, but my mum told me about it. We had some gigantic beanbags which had the Heinz Beans and Tomato Soup logos on them. You can guess what I did - I opened one up and pulled all the filling out - it was filled with lots of tiny chunks of yellow and green foam. Apparently, I spread them all around the room and when my mum opened the door I said "Look, I'm sailing in my boat!" she had to instantly close the door again we found bits of the foam around for years.

I did get karmic payback for this as my own DC did the same thing except that modern beanbags have polystyrene balls which instantly static charge to everything and repel each other and are a nightmare to clean up. DS3 was about 18 months, was inexplicably naked when it happened and decided to just roll around in them on the floor, which ended up with him wearing a coat of polystyrene balls. Everywhere! They were clinging to his eyelashes. I have a hilarious photo of him where it looks like we have vajazzled him.

I did unintentionally torture ladybirds as well - we had this sandpit with a lid that collected rainwater and had little roads built into it so we made them "swimming pools" there were new houses being built near us and we often found tiny little squares of foam around, which reminded me of swimming floats so I used them as ladybird boats. They were free to leave any time, they did get to the other side OK and we thought we were making them fun things but of course they probably can't actually swim and were likely frightened we did this for ages, an entire summer if not more than one. Any time we found a ladybird we'd bring it to our torture camp paradise?? I let them run around in my Polly Pocket houses as well, they didn't seem to mind this.

I used to hit my sister over the head with a Playstation controller when she annoyed me, but she used to do the same back to me, so maybe that was just normal sibling bickering. We are fine, I think.

I did that to a boy at school that was being horrible to me 😂 he cried

Well this thread cheered up my night. Not that anyone cares what I think and I haven't read them all but some of the best that stick out...😂

@MoonWoman69 Prank calling in the phone box "Help! Help!"
@XenoBitch Elderly couple stuck in elevator
@Bringtheweatherwithyou Prank calling in the USA
@LovelyJubbles Dead babysitter and literal "spray" tan
@Thursa Kite knickers
@capybaraa Those aren't my parents
@Clawdy
@swayingpalmtree Marmite party
@problembottom Robbing own house
@coldcallerbaiter Toilet tragedy
@Cattenberg Hamster's best Christmas
@HelloDarlingWhatAreYouDoingHere No Milk today!
@Bulkypeepants Toilets black out.
@HangingOver Idly watching TV

My Uncle used to do it to me and my cousins. Whoever was stood the nearest at the time!

Nope, you don’t.

There’s absolutely no need to be a prat about the way someone else has written. If you genuinely can’t decipher something, and you need or want clarification, then you can ask politely.

I laughed so much at the thought of him poking his walking stick down the loo. 😂

For some bizarre reason I used to call numbers from my Auntie's house upstairs when I was in the study but I'd hang up before anyone answered. I think I was bored. Anyway once I rang my friends house and I think I let it ring too long if I remember rightly and someone picked up. I quickly put the phone down and thought nothing of it...until 5 minutes later my Uncle was having an argument with someone "threatening" on the phone. Obviously my uncle was swearing blind that no-one had rang from this house but my friend's dad had used call back. Later on it transpired that my friend's dad was abusive (physically, mentally etc.) to his wife so I can only imagine the tirade that my poor Uncle experienced 😔I was about 9.

@anxioussister- Thankyou. ..I genuinely mean that.

also. I have no idea how to really respond to "eh" - when the (@HotChocolateNotCocoa )is clearly attempting to make me look stupid. (i secretly wished her was the 1 with the anal bleach wipe pain/namechanged)xx

Howling

Please tell me you are Scottish? I read all of that and completely understood it all in a Scottish accent. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😀

Susan deserved it! 😉

@Notchangingnameagain -100% scottish-aye! i was...non angelic BUT i honestly think that mighta been my one spur-of -the-moment yer honour act of rage(-rest were all "hits" cos i did do anything my big sister orders.lol

Yey! 😀

My friend and I around age 11 forged charity boxes from various flyers, leaflets and posters and went Carol singing on behalf of The Blind Association and Mother Theresa of Calcutta. We looked very young and angelic for our years and people gave generously. We felt bad so donated some of our ill gotten gains to the actual charities and got commended in front of the whole school in assembly. We conspired to commit more fraud but got bored and gave up. Brinks Mat eat your heart out.

I hadn’t a clue what space dust was until I googled it! I thought it was a new name for cocaine 😂😂

My parents and I were visiting friends they had made in the early days and their two daughters were older than me, the younger one I think around 2 years older.

Anyhow she had a big wardrobe in their garage filled with dolls clothes (not new ones either) and I thought I was in the garage by myself, so helped myself to some of them, sticking them down my undies. Not long after the youngest accused me of stealing her dolls clothes and it put Mum and Dad in a very embarrassing position, so we left without Mum checking if I had. Never saw them again and I have no idea why I did that because I had a lot at home.

Another thing I did when younger was on my way to school one morning, a classmate's younger brother made fun of me on my pushbike. I was so upset when I got to school I told school he was throwing rocks at me, so he was caned. I saw his sister years later and she reminded me that I told a lie and her brother was caned for it. I felt terrible but said I didn't remember... 😬

No her husband had died I think at least 15 years previous to this.

Yeh she was horrible.

😂😂🤣🤣

@XenoBitch cracked me up with the 'weird living kite' 😂😂

I remember when I was in nursery, about 3/4 years old, I got some of those jigsaw pieces with the little peg on that you have to fit into the right shape. Anyway, I seemed to think it was an amazing idea to put these jigsaw pieces into the school fish tank to see if the fish wanted to do a jigsaw 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I didn't really get on with my older brother and used to have blazing rows with him. At the time we lived in a 70s built house, with internal doors made from sort of plywood filled laminate or something. I was yelling at him through the door, which he'd bolted. I really lost my temper and booted the door so hard I put a hole in it. 😅

I've just remembered another one. I was playing rockets with a sharp pencil and its landing pad was in between the sofa cushions (the cushions you sit on). I had finished playing and forgot to move the pencil so it was just there stuck out of the sofa. My sister sat on it and it pierced her bottom 🫣. Still feel bad about that.

Our primary school ran a little snack shop. We had to take turns to be the shopkeeper. When it was my turn I used to steal some money to buy a snack. My mother would never give me any money for a snack but it’s no excuse.,I never got caught.

When I was 5 I washed the hair of the 5 year old nextdoor neighbour. But we couldn't reach the sink so I had him put his head down the toilet while I flushed it.

Around about the same time I was visiting my grandparents and decided to do a strip tease for my grandfather complete with, "de da, de da, de da da daaaa".

Where the hell I learned that I have no idea.

Expecting people to write coherently is not “being a prat”. But well done for bringing it up 20 pages later. Bra fucking vo.