Sentences I didn't think I'd say as a parent...

[AwBlessm]

'Oh, this dog is breastfeeding from the Grinch!'

(I hate role-play games...)

Underwear is non-negotiable at the dinner table

Turn it down, it's just noise.

I am officially my mum!

A fine rule!

Do not stick that up the cats arse (to Dd1 and no cats were harmed!)

Do not lick that hare, it doesn't need washing thank you. (To Dd2)

Also why are you only wearing one shoe? (upon arriving home) is an all to frequent question

I love these threads! The cat does not want to be wrapped up like a burrito.

But how do you know that for sure? 🙂

It's 2am. Get off your computer and get to bed.

Stop licking the dog, and stop rubbing butter in your hair.

Bluey is doing a poo on the big toilet! Hurrah👏👏👏👏

Stop doing the hokey cokey and wipe your bum.
Stop licking the door handle (of Halfords at the start of the pandemic 😬)

So many of these.

I remember seeing a video before I had children of a mother saying "No, they aren't swimming carrots-they're goldfish." I laughed then.....

No fingering the dog!

(Said to my (then) 10 month old as she stuck her finger up my BIL dog 😬🫣).

"Pack it in you two, there's plenty of snake to go around the both of you"

And

"Why has it taken us four years to dress the monkey as Yoda"

😆
Both make me chuckle years on.

Is she really going to divorce Rodney just because he made the spaghetti in the cat microwave?

You can't wear those shoes, they already have feet in them.

If you are going to be part of the hoover then you are going to get a mouth full of dust.

• all from playing with dolls.

It's a helicopter, not a weapon.

😂😂😂

Stop chewing the dishwasher please

Your shoes are STILL on the wrong way round

(On coming home from school, no pe today) why are ALL your clothes on backwards?

No squatting on the fountains (at CentreParcs this weekend)

"DC2, stop stealing your sisters shadow, give her it back right now

DC3 stop stealing your brothers nose, he needs it to smell his farts"

Stop wiping your snot on the wall next to your bed. 🤮

Eat the spaghetti and cheese off the floor please!

Do you all have to wear underwear at the dinner table? 😮

Mine is "close that window, we aren't heating the garden".

Rodney made spaghetti in the cat microwave? LTB!

Rodney was on his last straw anyway, he recently lost his eyebrows (best feature) when we were trying to get the pen marks off his face.
My daughter told me there is no way a vet (her main barbie) was going to be with a man who can't even look after his eyebrows. How was she supposed to trust him with all the animals after that.