Sentences I didn't think I'd say as a parent...

[AwBlessm]

'Oh, this dog is breastfeeding from the Grinch!'

(I hate role-play games...)

It is “fist bump” not “piss pump”.

stop licking the bus window

I kinda want that to be my new catchphrase...

Please don’t put your willy on your brother’s head

Please tell me you haven't just put that banana out of the cat flap.

Don't be sad, love, your poo has just gone to play with all the other poos in the sewers

... After inconsolable sobbing when they realised after they flushed they were NEVER GOING TO SEE THAT POO AGAIN...

Should have foreseen the inevitable questions:
Is this poo friends with my yesterday poo?
Is my poo your poo's baby?
Do poos tell the other poos about the bums they came from?
Do poos cuddle when they're sad?

@TheScientists - This would make a charming kid’s book to be read to potty training toddlers for inspiration!!!

“What’s in your mouth?”

”Oh Christ, spit it out, spit it out!!”

DS was about 3, and whatever it was , it was alive when it went in his mouth!😱

When my youngest was about 3 his favourite thing was broccoli (or tiny trees as he called it), sprinkle of grated cheese on top and he was a happy little boy.

He was acting up in the supermarket one day and I actually threatened “if you don’t behave I’m putting this broccoli back!”

No the pigeons are just bum wrestling on the fence.

That might be the most surprising one one yet! 😀

Yes, no ice hockey in the house is always directed at my wife.

”don’t eat that, it’s glass!” was a regular refrain after the time he did eat glass-

connected to-

”no, I can’t find your diamonds, I think you must have eaten them…”

😂😂😂 this is my favourite one! I had a similar experience with DS and olives 🫒

Oh, a lamb bum! It can be my pillow.