How long would your child last in a zombie apocalypse?

[PaperDoIIs]

Just for fun, how long do you think your child/children would last in a zombie apocalypse? You can pick the zombie type.

Me and DD were messing around yesterday and talking about it and she came up with a "plan". So far fetched(even more far fetched than the possibility of a zombie apocalypse) that it resembled a Fast and Furious movie, complete with a bucket and tin foil to go into space.

It spans years, at least two other planets and various adventures and eventually it ends with her being a goddess.

In reality, I give her a day. She's the type that would check out on her own what the weird noise is at the beginning of a horror movie.

What about your kids?

They're both scientists of sorts so would be in the military compound doing all sorts of nefarious experiments 'for the benefit of mankind'.

I have one navel gazer who would wish to identify why they thought they needed to eat brains and establish if digging up brains would suffice ultimately wishing to establish a zombie identity spectrum

Two of them would gather weapons only one of them faints at the sight of blood so maybe the youngest would last a week before his lack of breakfast pastry would doom him to leaving the house and getting murdered like the rest of his siblings

Younger DD - not long at all. She'd either not notice what was happening or would flap around a bit until the Zombies got her.

Older DD - despite having ASD/ADHD would probably thrive in a global apocalypse. There's nothing her neuro diverse brain likes more than sorting out a crisis. She'd single handedly destroy all the Zombies, save the world and then completely loose interest in the situation and move on to her next hyperfocus.

We actually all had this discussion in the car not too long ago. Elder DD gave me some Zombie survival tips and advice on how to know when a Zombie was approaching. She didn't think I'd last very long though.

My DS - about 8 secs. He is like a golden retriever. Loveable, gullible and naive. His twin sister would solve the

Whoops! She would solve the zombie apocalypse with a combo of being an evil genius that looks like a
wode-eyed cherub. DD 1 probably started the zombie apocalypse with her evil genius.

I often brainstorm how we'd deal with a herd when waiting with my dc for a train or whatever.
I'm quite sure I would die reasonably swiftly but hopefully I could cause a distraction allowing dc to escape!

I have a teenage girl. If you have one you will know that are far scarier than any species alive or dead. She will be fine.

My lot would be totally fine.

I've always been a prepper so have lots of supplies in anyways, and my kids are absolutely feral, it's like Lord Of The Flies in my house on any given day tbh.

Oh God we have 3 plans depending on how long food lasts in each place/wherever happen to be at said time of apocalypse.
First is their (dc) house. We all stay, it's pretty well defendable due to its orientation and generally.
Next is my street, given time we could build a dome over it, at least very high walls. Easy to defend again given its orientation. Most of the people on my street are elderly. Drugs galore, old people so wont last long so we keep their food, allotments at the end of the street. So we could feasibly build a gigantic fence around that too and have food forever. We would use all the garages as wall building materials.

Last is when all else has failed. Make it to one of the outlying islands. By the time we make it, all on island zombies will have died or be very depleted and we can just kill those few left. We will have brought plenty of food from our allotment and seeds etc. We will use fuel for the transport from all the cars on the street that used to belong to elderly people. Am sure there will be a boat for us to commandeer on the mainland.
We can all shoot, which is helpful.

So both my children could survive. In reality I will just see them ok then go and get bitten. I'm too tired for all that shit.

Ahhh now I could talk about the book FOREVER! It's written as a historical account of an actual war with diary extracts, interviews, press cuttings, all forming a historical document on the war, its origins and how it ends. One of the saddest is when those on the ISS watch it from space knowing the they will never come home

Anyway I digress - I'm sure this particular story was from a commune in Australia where for some reason I think they have eaten meat from a previously animated corpse and this enables them to move amongst them camouflaged (a bit like in TWD when the gang coat them selves in zombie innards). This gives them the ability to kill them.

Anyway you have to READ THE BOOK! While the film is entertaining in its own way it really bears no resemblance to the book

I love completely different personalities in one family.

I suggest encouraging the others to be nicer to the survivor/going to rule the horde types. It might be their saving grace.

If Paw Patrol was on the TV DD wouldn’t notice it happening. She goes in to a trance (which is why we ration it).

She would Why them to obliteration though if she noticed. They’d be forced to give up.

@FindingMeno you need to watch Train to Busan and give your plan a context!!

Eldest DD would be fierce and manage fine. Probably take a load out before escaping to a safe enclave. Younger DD would pretend to be one so they wouldn't notice. So also fine really.

Mine are 4 and 6 so they wouldn't stand a chance without me but I have a plan is place 😂 I'd send DH to go and fight at the local supermarket over loo roll and tins and I'd break into the local pharmacy and take antibiotics, pain killers, epi pens and tampons.
Then I'd drive to a local town, leave car there and make my way over to a little island that can be walked to on foot for a couple of hours every day. The rest of the time it's surrounded by sea.
It's got a little house on it and you can see around it for miles.
Getting there is a bloody trek but I'll stick the kids and all the food/meds in a wagon and go.

We're close to farms so getting shotguns probably wouldn't be too difficult (assuming the farmers don't shoot me first).

Wait a minute, what kind of zombies are we talking about?
The walking dead ones are shufflers so that wouldn't be too bad.
The 28 days later zombies can sprint so I'd probably just take myself out in the first 5 mins to save the bother.

DS1 and DS2 would immediately start arguing over who was sitting in the front seat of the car as we loaded it up for our getaway (my plan is to hide out at Ikea). Then they would argue over which of them was holding the dog. Then they'd argue over who caused the apocalypse. Then they'd argue over who could eat the most meatballs. Then they'd argue over who was getting which pretend room. Then I'd shove both of them to the fucking zombies just for some peace and quiet.

DD1 and her friends would cosplay as zombies and get massively into z-culture. They'd probably get chomped while videoing a TikTok dance in front of a shuffling horde.

DD2 is savage. Within moments of the first corpse reanimating she would go full feral and disappear over the horizon with a machete never to be seen again.

I agree with this. I saw TWD first and thought, so as long as I can walk faster, I'm ok. Then I saw the Brad Pitt? Zombie movie and they really can run fast. So yeah, if it's those super fast zombies, I'm toast.

She would want to hug the zombies so minutes

Fast zombies are cheating and shouldn't be allowed.

One would be fine, and outlive most people the other would haul himself up in a lab so he can make himself insulin and probably only leave for food hauls

I think they should be allowed in america, where everyone hasautomatic guns, but not in the UK where we mostly use cricket bats
Also, I don't think children should have to deal with fast zombies, for safeguarding reasons.

Child one - very outdoorsy, could make fire, build shelters and find food easily enough. As long as the zombies are not also outdoorsy he’s be fine.

Child two prefers not to leave home much, so would survive behind locked doors until the cupboards were bare.

sorry, not watched any zombie tv or video, so have no idea how they work 😂

Mine have been well trained on the zombie apocalypse plan. Unfortunately DH would probably go first as he'd be one of those numpties trying to talk to/help an old friend wandering in the street (clearly to everyone but DH, was a member of the undead team by now). Eldest DD would get bitten because she'd not notice a zombie due to having her AirPods in. Middle child is too nice, instant victim, and DS? Panicking trying to save his mum not realising I can well take care of myself.

That's worst case. They could surprise me and follow my directions to the letter and we'll be perfectly fine. We even know where we'll be holding up. There are weapons there, generators, fuel, shutters, real fireplaces and welding tools to improve the 4X4s for scavenging trips. Farmers for the apocalypse win.

This is a frequent topic of conversation for me and occupies too much of my headspace. I tell people that they can join our team if I think they will add value.

All 3 of mine would definitely be on my team. One a little less but the other two would be excellent.

Observant. Practical. Smart and the ability to scrabble up trees. Enough of a sense of self preservation to save themselves