How long would your child last in a zombie apocalypse?

[PaperDoIIs]

Just for fun, how long do you think your child/children would last in a zombie apocalypse? You can pick the zombie type.

Me and DD were messing around yesterday and talking about it and she came up with a "plan". So far fetched(even more far fetched than the possibility of a zombie apocalypse) that it resembled a Fast and Furious movie, complete with a bucket and tin foil to go into space.

It spans years, at least two other planets and various adventures and eventually it ends with her being a goddess.

In reality, I give her a day. She's the type that would check out on her own what the weird noise is at the beginning of a horror movie.

What about your kids?

And now in their late teens they'd just grab the nearest implement and just whack those fucker Zombies over the head then run

My work is done

As children, my sons used to love getting huge sticks and death-whacking the invasive Himalayan balsam in our local woods.
I'm pretty sure that is a transferable skill, and that they would have racked up an impressive zombie-slaughter score.
Likewise, their pinata destroying brutality was enough to make a waiter blanche at a children's party I laid on. Zombies wouldn't have stood a chance.

😆 this sounds familiar

DD1 might be ok for a bit. She’d get a massive rage on and probably tear a few limbs off zombies in her fury. But she gets tired quickly and needs a lot of food so suspect her time would be limited.

DD2 would try to make friends with the zombies so she’d either end up their cult leader or eaten.

Neither have anything resembling practical or organisational skills- though to be fair they’re still primary age so let’s hope the zombie apocalypse holds off a few years.

God help the zombies is all I can say. My oldest is somewhat......... feisty. A day with her and she'd have the zombies at her beck and call doing her bidding.

What kind of zombies?

Are they your classic Romero slow shambling zombies or are they the 28 days later, rage infected fast zombies?

My 2yo would eat them alive. She’d be immune to any contagious zombie ness but after she ate several they’d all acknowledge her the zombie overlord and fetch her all the sultanas and water she wanted.

My 9yo has done his research, having read the entire "Last Kids on Earth" series - however I think when he realises he can't actually build a tree fort and climb on the friendly monster back to avoid the zombies he will be defeated.

My 12yo is a big horror/thriller/danger fan and she's really rather scrappy, so I think she would last a good while longer.

Zombies are the dead reanimated. They are always slow and shambling because they are dead and decomposing.

In 28 days later, they weren’t Zombies. They were alive and infected with a virus.

I’ve had so many drunken arguments about that over the years 🤣

What about the I Am Legend zombies?

DD2 would be quite content as leader of all humans and zombies whilst she entertained herself occasionally as a casual sniper from the apocalyptic equivalent of a giant cat tree for humans.

DD1 wouldn't have lasted for more than ten minutes as the moment the evacuation siren went, she'd promptly sit down on her bed and stare into space for an hour.

They were still alive too. that’s why will smith was working on an antidote.

They had been given a vaccine for cancer which mutated them (I think the original book describes them as vampires?)

Proper Zombies are in Shaun of the Dead.

One of mine would be a zombie within 24 hours. The other would be the last living human.

DD would probably try to bite them first…

Word War Z was proper dead zombies too. They died within 10 seconds of being killed and then they reanimated.

In the book, they move slow, but the film, they are fast.

Christ, I am one sad fucker. I am aware I need a life.

@tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz tell me more about that.

They're fast in Dead Set. Although netflix does describe them as undead, rather than zombies. So now I'm puzzled.

Off to check out Zomboat

If you kill a zombie does it come back as a zombie?

I have to say if they're the slow, decomposing,waddling ones she might actually make it longer. If she stays put and doesn't go out to "investigate ".

First child would last until the food ran out. Second probably wouldn't notice. Third would provably have caused the zombie apocalypse in the first place.

The youngest would be fine. She's an avid gardener, very fit and active plus loves being outdoors. Added to which my mother has solid fuel heating and cooking facilities so she's very familiar with a more rustic way of living. I could see her migrating away from suburbia and sorting out her own safe little corner of the world to live in (complete with zombie and marauder traps).

The eldest would only be fine if she could charm someone into looking out for her - to be fair, that's entirely possible because she's a brilliant people person and well liked...however that does rely on her being in the vicinity of potential protectors right from the start!

we joke about this;

DS would survive as he would go into hiding and never come out as he'd be petrified.

DD would be too nosey and go outside to see what is going on and get turned into a zombie.

Gotta double tap.

Actually both mine know that too so might survive longer than i thought!

DSs are now grown but remembering their rooms I darkly suspect they would be the zombies. Especially DS2 who has not changed much.

Oldest lives most of his life on-line very knowledgeable about the theory of Zombies and survival but not very active. Youngest is very practical can sail, drive power boats, shoot and do archery ( cadets) and also good with mechanics. So if they could hole up together somewhere they’d be okay I think. Probably end up fighting each other though.