Was I rude to say this?

[Namechangedty]

I'm British born (Asian origins) and was born and grew up in the UK.
My husband is half white British half Arab. His father was an expatriate and settled down in an Arab country and got married to an Arab. So he's got the British passport but wasn't born or raised here, he came here alone at 18 years old.

Today I told him he wasn't English. It wasn't said in a mean way, we were just having a conversation.
Was it rude??

How did he react to what you had said?

If he has settled in England permanently and regards it as his home, why wouldn't he be English?

Yes I think it's probably rude, although it does depend a little bit on how it was said. I'm not sure why it's up to you to decide how English he is?

If it upset him, it upset him. Discussing whether the word “rude” is appropriate or not is the sort of arguing that places more importance on being right than being nice.

He said "well, that's rude"

Okay thank you everyone

Just to clarify, you told your husband he wasn't English, or you told him his father wasn't English?

That he wasn't English
His dad is white English. But he got a job abroad in an Arab country and then settled there.
His mum is Arab, doesn't have the British passport

Well it was certainly hurtful. I'd be concentrating on that rather than whether it's rude or not.

His father's English (possibly, since you don't specify). He's lived here for years. He can think of himself as English if he wants.

What do you think he is? I'd say he clearly comes from a mixed background, but there's no more rationale for him calling himself only an Arab (or only (whatever mother's nationality was)) than English.

So it would be reasonable to infer from his answer that he found what you said offensive. What I think is irrelevant.

I'd say he is Arab, because although he is mixed and had a British passport at birth, he wasn't raised within the British culture
He also learned English later on in life rather than as a kid as his dad didn't teach him (he wasn't s big part of his life) and as a result DH has an obvious accent.
He's just not what would come to my mind when I think of someone British

I'm half Arab, half British. I grew up in the ME (not my family's country) and then ce to the UK. I've had both my Arab cousins and my British cousins tell me I'm not Arab/British respectively. It gets a bit upsetting after a while.

Your husband has probably been defined in the past as the British one (in comparison to Arab peers) and now you're telling him he isn't that either.

How long has he lived in England?

My 2 kids (now young adults) were born in another country but have British citizenship. They’ve lived in England since they were preschool age. I would say they are both English/British and they identify as British.

But he’s not English, that’s a fact. As long as you weren’t being nasty about it, I don’t see what the issue is.

Unless your comment was part of a complex conversation, then yes it was rude. How could you think it wasn't rude and why did you say it anyway?

Thank you

Ten years

You don't get to tell other people their nationality. It is exceptionally rude and downright disrespectful of those who hold dual heritages.

You really sound unpleasant commenting on his accent newsflash everyone has an accent!

Sounds to me that you don't like your husband much 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why?
Like @ChihuahuasREvil pointed, it's a fact. It's not mean to say so. There's nothing wrong with not being English, it wasn't a dig

Absolutely This

No you’re completely right. He isn’t English. He wasn’t born or raised here. English isn’t his first language and he has an accent. He is 100% not English. He may have a passport but he is from whatever country he was raised in

He didn't call you a liar though. He called you rude.

Thank you