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Original poster

Was I rude to say this?

109 replies

Namechangedty · 18/02/2024 12:49

I'm British born (Asian origins) and was born and grew up in the UK.
My husband is half white British half Arab. His father was an expatriate and settled down in an Arab country and got married to an Arab. So he's got the British passport but wasn't born or raised here, he came here alone at 18 years old.

Today I told him he wasn't English. It wasn't said in a mean way, we were just having a conversation.
Was it rude??

OP posts:
cardibach · 18/02/2024 19:25

pickledandpuzzled · 18/02/2024 13:59

DS2 lives in Cardiff, I’m Welsh.

He isn’t, he’s English. Always will be. Even if he learns Welsh.

Some people move around enough in their formative years to take their parents’ nationality as their own. Most of us are the product of where we grew up with in your DH’s case is not England.

I grew up in England with Welsh parents. I have always been Welsh.
I’ve lived here since 2001. Friends who’ve moved later can be Welsh if they want to be whatever their background or linguistic ability. Anyone who commits to living their life here and helping make the place better is fine by me.

cardibach · 18/02/2024 19:27

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 18/02/2024 14:09

Well he's not technically British, but he is in other ways.

Who cares? British doesn't seem to mean anything these days anyway.

What do you want it to mean? Why do you think it doesn’t mean anything?

cardibach · 18/02/2024 19:31

BathroomSOS · 18/02/2024 14:35

I personally think you're right OP but there's several trains of thoughts. To me it's where you were born, reaching sometimes to where you grew up if say you were born in Paraguay but spent the rest of the time in say Belgium I'd say your Belgian.

But others take the view that you are essentially the combined nationality of your parents, or where you were born or even lived for a set duration. To me it feels messy and illogical like when you have "italians" in America who have never set foot in Italy, nor have their parents.

So your contention is that nobody who comes to live in Britain can ever be British? Not if they commit their lives to helping the country? Not if they never intend to leave? Not under any circumstances?
Weird.

BadCovers · 18/02/2024 19:35

Marblessolveeverything · 18/02/2024 13:17

You don't get to tell other people their nationality. It is exceptionally rude and downright disrespectful of those who hold dual heritages.

You really sound unpleasant commenting on his accent newsflash everyone has an accent!

This. People immigrate, and stay, and are a member of society on the same grounds as anyone else. If they identify as that nationality, that is up to them. I don’t get to police who is a particular nationality, because they’re ’not what comes to my mind when I think of nationality x’. There are people who think all Irish people are red-haired and freckled, and trudge about bogs footing turf in Aran jumpers. The fact that Black Irish kids exist is not up for debate because it’s ’not what comes to their minds’.

movedtothecountry · 18/02/2024 19:47

Namechangedty · 18/02/2024 12:49

I'm British born (Asian origins) and was born and grew up in the UK.
My husband is half white British half Arab. His father was an expatriate and settled down in an Arab country and got married to an Arab. So he's got the British passport but wasn't born or raised here, he came here alone at 18 years old.

Today I told him he wasn't English. It wasn't said in a mean way, we were just having a conversation.
Was it rude??

Rude and racist

StevieRay · 18/02/2024 20:24

movedtothecountry · 18/02/2024 19:47

Rude and racist

Show quote history

What's racist about it?

Ghuunvg · 18/02/2024 22:10

StevieRay · 18/02/2024 20:24

What's racist about it?

Show quote history

Well, the OP has conflated ethnicity and nationality twice: describing herself as "South Asian" when that has ni bearing on her nationality and her DP as "Arab".

BathroomSOS · 18/02/2024 22:54

I don't find it weird I find it just a statement of fact the same as biological sex, eye colour etc I don't see any inherently better than another. I'd also argue that being "British" is different to having British citizenship.

Strugglingtodomybest · 19/02/2024 08:01

It really doesn't matter what we think, as obviously there is no consensus.

Did you apologise to your DH?

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