Was I rude to say this?

[Namechangedty]

I'm British born (Asian origins) and was born and grew up in the UK.
My husband is half white British half Arab. His father was an expatriate and settled down in an Arab country and got married to an Arab. So he's got the British passport but wasn't born or raised here, he came here alone at 18 years old.

Today I told him he wasn't English. It wasn't said in a mean way, we were just having a conversation.
Was it rude??

He is English though. His dad's English and he's lived in England a long time. He's at least half English like my DH's dad his half Polish as he has a Polish dad. He's never set foot in Poland.

Sorry bad grammar there!

But he isn’t. You can live in a country and not be from that country. My grandad came from Germany hence the German passport. He lived in England longer than he’d ever lived In Germany. He still wasn’t English though. He was German! Like if I decided to move to Australia I wouldn’t be Australian I’d be English but living there

I thought you had to be born in England as well as have an English parent to be classed as English, otherwise you would be British. Reading the replies though, I'm obviously wrong <hangs head>

"He's just not what would come to my mind when I think of someone British"

British and English are two different things...

I think if he feels English then he's English.

@Lifestooshort71 thats the irony- I don't think there's such thing as English citizenship.

I personally think you're right OP but there's several trains of thoughts. To me it's where you were born, reaching sometimes to where you grew up if say you were born in Paraguay but spent the rest of the time in say Belgium I'd say your Belgian.

But others take the view that you are essentially the combined nationality of your parents, or where you were born or even lived for a set duration. To me it feels messy and illogical like when you have "italians" in America who have never set foot in Italy, nor have their parents.

He is English. Technically he is half English. He has a British passport. He has lived here 10 years and can obviously call himself English.

My friend's son is half Swedish and only recently as an adult got a Swedish passport. It doesn't make him not Swedish just because he hasn't lived there.

Okay so the general consensus is he isn't English but he is British it if I got it right?

I kind of get what you mean

Depends on what he associates himself more as. Usually it would be where someone is born/raised. Or whatever ethnicity one's father is.
Being mixed is confusing sometimes, it's like you don't belong in either.

Errrr no. He is English because his dad was English

Yup.

You were rude OP.

I think it’s rude to compartmentalise people, which you clearly do.

What is this really about OP?

English identity is a funny one and I think it's much more about feelings that objective criteria. Whereas there is a more objective measure of Britishness - ie whether or not you are a citizen.

I've lived in this country for more than 20 years. I now have British citizenship as well as citizenship of my birth country, my accent is now indistinguishable from the local accent (sometimes people get cross when they learn I grew up elsewhere, because my accent is local), I'm married to an English person and have English kids.

If asked, I'd call myself British (as in citizenship), where I'm from and national identity I'd still say my home country but I feel like I could use "British" if I wanted to. I do not feel like English is one I identify with or lay claim to but I have no objective reason for feeling ok about British but not about English. It's an odd one.

Maybe it's that Englishness feels more "gatekept" than Britishness?

If he's got a British passport, he's British.

Very strange that you consider yourself English but not him (no shade I'm mixed race).

Seems that you upset him? Why would you use that as an insult or point of difference?

A persons citizenship is the least interesting or important thing about them imo.

I wouldn't ever consider myself English (born here, lived here my whole life, married an English man, I have 1 English parent who can trace their roots back many centuries, 1 parent of another heritage & born in another country but British citizen and lived here over 50 years) but my passport says British so that's what I am.

The colour of my mixed race skin means I doubt anyone thinks I'm English - but I'm sure that will change in a century's time or so?

If he sees himself as English it's not your place to tell him he's not.

My children are Kenyan and British and anyone saying they were not both would be told to shut up.

Define "English."

😄

There are different ways of being English.

Your position is at odds with the law, and sounds like nativist, nationalist, racism.

There’s nothing (but decency and factual accuracy) stopping you from thinking as you do. There are plenty of people like you.

And they say Brexit came as a shock…

My father is French and my mother is Australian. I was raised in Australia until I was 10, we then lived in many countries until I was 15, when they settled in the UK (England). I have a British passport and have lived here full time for 30 years now (I'm 55).

I'm not English and frankly would take it as an insult if someone said I was (especially since Brexit). I don't really consider myself British either, it was my mother who decided to take British citizenship back in 1979, when children were still on their mother's passport, so it was automatically extended to me.

You're unbelievably rude

But with your back story I don't think anybody would describe you as English or British anyway so it's irrelevant to the OP