What improves social mobility for children? Is it extracurriculars, education, money?

[Downwarddog2]

At the moment social mobility is very low, UK is officially in a recession. What can make a difference to a child's chances of climbing the social ladder. DH & I are working class but aspire to so much more for the dc aged 12 & 10. How do we go about it.
I'd like them to feel very comfortable in upper middle class company & in a corporate job if that's where they end up. DH & I are very ill at ease when in middle class/umc company either through school parents or work. I don't want our dc to be the same.

Of course @shielder but if your parents are hale and hearty at 68, like us, and my parents are still shuffling along at 89 and 90, then it would be sensible to assume you are unlikely to inherit in less than 25 or 30 years.

By which deadline, you should have sorted out your own finances.

@Papyrophile people don’t have to die to give an inheritance…

help onto the London property ladder made a massive difference for me.

Err... I think Inheritance is predicated on death. Sorry to be pedantic. There cannot be an inheritance without a death; anything else is a gift.

Would early inheritance be a better term? And I should have said parents don’t have to die, often gps do & the inheritance passes down to the gc.

That’s a great list.

But either way I think my point stands that parental income & whether they own a house or not or can help you onto the ladder is a huge factor in determining social mobility.

Making the most of natural strengths, personalities and talents is a big one for me. My mum focussed on this with us (she’s worked in careers advice) and it paid off. I feel it’s massively overlooked by young people these days - they focus purely on careers that make them look good from the outside rather than careers where they can flourish.

Attend drama school
Take them to theatre, cinema, museums, concerts, art galleries, new towns/cities/landscapes, you don't have to be international in your adventures.
Read books on interesting people, places and cultures
Have a diverse social circle - teach humility, patience and understanding as these attributes make for emotional intelligence
Teach them HOW to have a conversation - hear me out - me and DH bring up something we don't fully understand (usually something sciencey as we are rubbish at it) and converse on how/why/what about that subject - tornadoes, how snow is made etc then we look in their many books to find the answer, then Google it, then bring that subject up again during the week to embed it. It equips kids with ideas they can express outside of roblox 😆

Getting out of the Uk. Go to Europe / ROI where people don’t give a flyers about what echelon they belong to.
Failing that, abolish your two tier educational system.

Many talented ones not bothering with university at all.

I begged my dc not to go to university as neither were interested in academic work. However, their argument which I couldn’t answer was that so many jobs nowadays need a degree.
Is this not so much the case nowadays? I hope it is as young people start off with huge student debt on top of a very high cost of living.

Sorry posted without reading the thread in its entirety. Now that I have I feel that I have fallen through a crack into the 19th century😂

My parents worked in blue collar jobs and I went to a comprehensive that was put into special measures and closed not long after I left. I have a PhD and earn the fabled Mumsnet six figure salary. I work as a scientist and my colleagues come from all walks of life, although for sure more posh people than folk with my background! If your kids have the aptitude for it I would say engineering and some sciences, maths, banking are good areas to go into, as those jobs tend to be intellectually demanding enough that they are glad for anyone who is competent. With science and engineering you have to be careful though as you're competing with the whole world - for some of the engineering disciplines you need a professional membership to do the job, which only comes after you have done a traineeships, and those can be better because there is a limit on the number of people who will be taken on for trainee places so there's always a bit of ashortage of workers. But you really need to talk to someone in the industry who will be honest with you about job prospects - which is not so easy if you don't have friends with those sorts of jobs.

More broadly I would advise you to encourage your kids to take risks and not worry too much if they're not always successful. It can be scary to go and do new things and mix in different circles, bit if you can learn not to take any of it too seriously, it's much easier to adapt.

good luck with the two tier, then it will be extra tutors, extra programs, making a one tier schooling system will not make society equal, as there will always be differences and that even begins as soon as schooling starts, some will do well, some will be A* and some will need tutors etc so even then its not equal

Hard work, aspirations and intelligence go a long way. As parents we can support and encourage them so far but ultimately your children will be who they will be.

My DH came from a very working class family in a poor area and an unstable home life but his determination to make a better life for himself is what drove him. He is very successful academically and now in his career but it was all him.

We live in a very MC area with friends in similar professions but a lot of them had help from parents. We both had to work from the bottom up with no parental support and no inheritance coming our way unfortunately!

There has to be so many things at play. It’s definitely not one thing.

Opportunities - making opportunities available to the child, whether it’s hobbies, tutoring, clubs, sports etc.

Ability - if they already have an academic ability it’s going to be so much easier. If they don’t do they have drive and ambition to work hard?

Networking - if they want to break into a certain industry it’s going to be so much easier if there are contacts there

Good mental health - this sits alongside confidence. It doesn’t matter how bright you are, if you suffer with anxiety or similar it’s going to wreck havoc on future job prospects

Parent availability- I think ALL children do better when parents are available to them. Even if you only have a small amount of time, put your phone down y actively listen.

Stable home life - the more adverse childhood events a child has the more likely they are to have problems in adulthood. By problems that could be anything from poor mental health to addiction and criminality. Children with calm, stable home lives are so much more likely to fair better in every area.

Self-confidence.

If you can send them to a school in an area where you know most of their peers will be expected to go to uni, whose parents have also been to uni, that will help. That's basically what happened to me. No expectations or help at home but I wanted to do what my friends at school were doing. Hence was the first in my family to go to uni, and eventually got a PhD.

And agree with reading reading and more reading.

What helped me was DM actually giving a shit about my education, encouraging me, helping me, and urging me on. I was also lucky that I came across assorted adults who were very well educated. One in particular had a massive influence on me. He came from a WC background and aside from pushing books at me, he'd have conversations with me that really stretched my brain.

I worked for my A Levels, and went to a v good uni. This massively changed my life chances compared my DMs.

Apisguard let’s just start with equal opportunities.

@Anycrispsleft

My dd wants to possibly go into science she's choosing her subjects for a levels. Perhaps a silly question but what sort of jobs can science people do? If you earn 6 gigs what do you do please and can you name other lucrative fun science jobs.
Thank you

Parental income at age 14 is a better indicator apparently.

I think parental IQ is a good starting point for social mobility. (As in the ability to recognise opportunities and ability to give the right tools and support.)
If the parents can think and are able to express themselves verbally, then you are half way there.

DC learn social norms by copying their parents. It's more of a subconscious learning, so if parents don't provide this very early foundation, then DC find it harder to move up on the social ladder.

After all, the way one speaks and act are the markers of whom you will attract as friends or partner. I would even go as far as deciding who will employ you.