What improves social mobility for children? Is it extracurriculars, education, money?

[Downwarddog2]

At the moment social mobility is very low, UK is officially in a recession. What can make a difference to a child's chances of climbing the social ladder. DH & I are working class but aspire to so much more for the dc aged 12 & 10. How do we go about it.
I'd like them to feel very comfortable in upper middle class company & in a corporate job if that's where they end up. DH & I are very ill at ease when in middle class/umc company either through school parents or work. I don't want our dc to be the same.

To really move up a class it takes much more than instilling a love of reading/debating/museums and it also takes generations. In some cases it requires the removal of a child from its environment (not that I'm advocating for this wrt the OP!).
Two documentaries come to mind; 'School Swap: the great class divide' about dc from Warminster public school and a comp in Derby swapping over for a week. One of the comp pupils was offered a full scholarship boarding at Warminster. He came from a 'disengaged home' and was at risk from being permanently expelled and was basically predicted not to pass any GCSE's. Long story short, he got a lot of support at school, was mentored by those in the know, thrived in the routine of boarding, and went onto university. He said himself that he would never have achieved this if he stayed at home.
The other (rather extreme) example is Daughters of Destiny on Netflix. It tells the story of a charity boarding school in India where they take 3 year old girls from the 'untouchable' caste and basically keep them until they finish university. The girls are educated on par with India's middle class, and part of the deal is tat they have fairly limited access to their family. They are allowed to visit them in the summer but as time goes on the girls say they can't relate much to their family nd their village of origin. The idea of this is that the girls get professional MC jobs and then pull their immediate family out of poverty, so that the next generation will have moved up a class.

I agree with this. I went to a selective grammar and we were constantly told we were on the top ten pc. Expectations were not explicitly stated but it was there.

Good manners. Not known as the privilege of kings for nothing, even nowadays.

Always put other people first socially, ask questions rather than talk about yourself, and go hard on passing the biscuits in meetings. Everyone will love you.

Also, read. Always.

I don't think all the advice is out of date. Accessing global opportunities takes confidence and knowing where to find those opportunities. That means believing in yourself which comes from having supportive and knowledgeable parents. Also parents who have a certain level of education who can direct and support their DC.
Global jobs require linguistic ability in order to speak a different language and not to be intimidated by potentially international travel.
So I think this comes down to many of the points that many posters have been making on this thread.

Reading is the biggest factor.

Bizarrely my social mobility came from my father who was the son of a very working class docker (and had the strong Caaaaardiff accent to match) he insisted we speak without the accent (is it RP?) I've been able to fit in anywhere. At least in conversation. I'm still broke 😂

We were among the poorest parents financially in DC's school, but you know what, nobody ever made us feel that way. We were invited to all the parties and included in everything. We took cheap wine, and were offered the best, regardless. People who owned thousands of acres took their wellies off, unasked, in our kitchen.

Id also say foster curiosity, value education, debate clubs are great at encouraging skill development and confidence.

At a basic level have a stable home life that supports and encourages.

And reading.

@Fedupwitheveryone makes an excellent point, especially here “And they need to know how to hold their cutlery - if only so they feel comfortable on dates and at business meals out when they are older!”

100%! I am always on at my children about table manners - no elbows is also crucial! Good manners, and table manners in particular, are a really easy way to ‘fit in’ and can make otherwise daunting situations way less scary.

If you were shit at reading but smart funny witty and gorgeous you would whizz up the social ladder over your book worm sibling.

Money, and parents with sharp elbows.

Manners and etiquette if they want to mix in with upper mc. Know what cutlery to use when table is set for multiple courses. Also knowing how to pronounce certain words (Beauchamp, cholmondesley etc). Vocabulary: napkin not serviette, loo not toilet, supper not tea, sitting room not lounge, sofa not couch etc. Teach them to make small talk and converse politely.

Reading is excellent in so many ways, but I've yet to see any research that proves a causation between reading and moving up a social class.

Yes. I did wonder about saying make yourself good looking.

There was a very bizarre article in the telegraph today saying good looking people at good universities do well, and less googd looking people at lesser universities are fine but people dont like a mismatch of good looking at a poor university or ugly at a good one.

@Teentaxidriver , actually in my experience none of that matters. Get stuck in, stand your ground and be gracious regardless of whether you won or lost. Move the chairs around to suit the occasion, look daft occasionally, get it wrong and blush, but always, always take your faults and own them, but also enjoy crowing a bit when you call it right. And never ever attend a party that you are 15 years too old to join, even though you were invited.

Education. Prioritise their education, read with them, turn up to parents evening, show that it matters. Education brings confidence, which enables people to be comfortable in most situations.

also of intrest are the books the 48 laws of power and 33 strategies of war, these are similar to templar books

Yes sadly I think being good looking gives you a much better chance of being accepted by PLU. There are a few celeb families on telly I can think of that are from very working class backgrounds who are now very wealthy, but no amount of money/grooming could convince you that they are MC. Awful to say but even the dc look rough, regardless of what designer clothes they are wearing.

This Demos report has links to various research studies suggesting strong links between different aspects of social mobility, employability etc and reading attainments.

https://demos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/A-Society-of-Readers-Formatted-1.pdf

In my own case, reading was key to getting out of poverty. No one encouraged me or that it was worthwhile — it was only a child’s way of escaping a very difficult home life, but in effect it was the single most important thing I ever learned to do, and to do well.

Also, I’ve taught in prisons, and the rate of literacy problems in the prison population is very high.

@madderthanahatter being beautiful opens lots of doors but celebrity really doesn't get you past the Daily Mail gossip column. And the column inches will fall off enormously once everyone realises that a person has nothing substantial to contribute intellectually. There, there dear is the best expectation.

at a guess its more high brow literature rather than just reading eg harry potter etc and also it improves vocabulary

All of this

Surely your parents income & whether they own a house is a huge factor these days particularly with getting on the property ladder as a gift from parents can often do more than earnings.

id guess the main factors is being able to talk and hold conversations on a mix of topics, and confidence, and build alliances

“In addition, parental earnings are a much stronger predictor of earnings for people born from the 1970s onwards than they were for previous generations.”

“As a result, a measure of lifetime income mobility, which includes inheritances, is set to fall further across the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s generations. That means your parents’ income and wealth is of ever-growing importance in determining your own position in the lifetime income distribution.”