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I'm your friend/acquaintance/colleague and I've dropped to 3 days PW for no real reason

122 replies

Getonnow · 31/01/2024 18:45

Other than I have "enough" money and I can. What are you thinking?

I'm a widow with adult children. Have always been financially independent (actually DH and I did have completely joint finances, but I always earned at least half). There was some life assurance, but I've put that away for if/when I want to help DC with house deposits.

I'm living a comfortable life on my income, with some other savings put by. An opportunity came up that means more commuting, but that I can work 3 days PW for the same (decent) salary as my old FT job.

It seemed like a no brainer to me. If I'm honest I've found managing the large family home on my own quite demanding and as a menopausal woman, life is more tiring than it used to be. This gives me a lovely balance -my working days are slightly longer because of the commute but that's manageable and I get time off to do house stuff and hobbies, so my weekends are free for socials and travel, which I do quite a lot of.

Naively, I thought friends would be pleased for me, but I'm hearing a lot of sniping about it's alright for some with a widow's pension. FWIW I don't have a pension and am supporting myself (because we always knew I could, so didn't deem it necessary), but even if I did, why would people be bitter about it? I did lose DH, after all.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 31/01/2024 18:46

They're jealous.

Bladwdoda · 31/01/2024 18:47

I’d be happy for you and I’d think it was a great idea.

What are people saying to you? Mentioning you’re a window sounds pretty low for a friend to say!!

Loopytiles · 31/01/2024 18:48

Horrible reaction from friends!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

stillavid · 31/01/2024 18:48

Ignore them and re-evaluate them as friends.

rookiemere · 31/01/2024 18:48

I'd love to work 3 days per week so I'd be a teeny bit jealous of you OP, but my goodness given your circumstances I'd like to think I'd be nice about it.

Mummyofthewildones · 31/01/2024 18:48

I'd be thinking, good for you. If you can earn the same money with fewer hours and a better work/life balance then brilliant. They don't sound like real friends if they can't be pleased for you.

newtlover · 31/01/2024 18:48

they're jealous, yes

Gymmum82 · 31/01/2024 18:49

Jealousy. I’ve worked 3 days a week since my children were born. I don’t ever intend to work full time again

SgtJuneAckland · 31/01/2024 18:49

Who wouldn't jump at that? Same money, fewer hours, more time for yourself. Why would you say no?!

Boobettes · 31/01/2024 18:49

It wouldn't enter my head to have an opinion??

It's just your job and I think it's weird your so called friends have any kind of opinion on it at all 🤷‍♀️

Is there a backstory? Have you been talking about it too much in their eyes? Do they think you're rubbing it in or something?

It's weird.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 31/01/2024 18:50

I wouldn't even register on my radar tbh

MrsSucculent · 31/01/2024 18:50

They are literally just jealous. Do it. You only get one life.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/01/2024 18:51

Why would anyone say no to working 3 days a week for the same money?

This has literally nothing to do with being a widow and you should go Schwarzenegger on their ass !

MegaClutterSlut · 31/01/2024 18:51

I'd be pointing out that you'd rather your dh be here over a widows pension! And even if you were claiming it, they should be glad that you're supported by it

Ffs some people. They're not your friends, they're arseholes

Mydogisagentleman · 31/01/2024 18:51

I would be happy for you.

Undoubtedly I would be envious, but given the circumstances, glad for you.
Enjoy having more free time

Himawarigirl · 31/01/2024 18:51

It’s not for ‘no real reason’, it’s because you want to, can afford to and only live once. You don’t need to justify it to people but I can imagine how you feel, as I have often felt the same about staying at home with my children, as if I need to justify it for some reason. But I know that much of that is in my head and I need to own my decision.

CocoPlum · 31/01/2024 18:52

rookiemere · 31/01/2024 18:48

I'd love to work 3 days per week so I'd be a teeny bit jealous of you OP, but my goodness given your circumstances I'd like to think I'd be nice about it.

This! My reaction would be "ooh, I'd love to do that, do you have any plans for what you'll do?"

darkmodeera · 31/01/2024 18:54

I'd think and say good on you. The sniping sifts out the shit friends from the true ones.

Justcallmebebes · 31/01/2024 18:54

It's absolutely none of my business and I wouldn't give it a second thought

WhenWereYouUnderMe · 31/01/2024 18:54

Wow those 'friends' are incredibly rude!

If you were my friend I'd be super excited for you, and be dying to ask what your plans are.

ShortDaysLongNights · 31/01/2024 18:55

Good for you! I'd be really pleased for you! Spend those two extra days off work finding new, supportive friends!

DocOck · 31/01/2024 18:55

I'd be bloody jealous!

Londonscallingme · 31/01/2024 18:56

Dear me. I’d be rethinking my friendship group if I were you.

Congrats on the new job!

HalloumiGeller · 31/01/2024 18:56

They're jealous OP, that much is clear!

I say go for it 100%, as why would you not? I'd do it in a heartbeat!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/01/2024 18:56

Good for you that you are able to afford to work less than fulltime, sorry that you have been bereaved, great that you have more time to do things that matter to you.