I'm your friend/acquaintance/colleague and I've dropped to 3 days PW for no real reason

[Getonnow]

Other than I have "enough" money and I can. What are you thinking?

I'm a widow with adult children. Have always been financially independent (actually DH and I did have completely joint finances, but I always earned at least half). There was some life assurance, but I've put that away for if/when I want to help DC with house deposits.

I'm living a comfortable life on my income, with some other savings put by. An opportunity came up that means more commuting, but that I can work 3 days PW for the same (decent) salary as my old FT job.

It seemed like a no brainer to me. If I'm honest I've found managing the large family home on my own quite demanding and as a menopausal woman, life is more tiring than it used to be. This gives me a lovely balance -my working days are slightly longer because of the commute but that's manageable and I get time off to do house stuff and hobbies, so my weekends are free for socials and travel, which I do quite a lot of.

Naively, I thought friends would be pleased for me, but I'm hearing a lot of sniping about it's alright for some with a widow's pension. FWIW I don't have a pension and am supporting myself (because we always knew I could, so didn't deem it necessary), but even if I did, why would people be bitter about it? I did lose DH, after all.

If I were your friend I'd be so pleased that you had this chance, so you could have some happy times but also to be quiet and cope with grief. Have some wonderful adventures, and don't think twice.

I wouldn’t give it a second thought but if I did stop to think about it the only thing I would feel is happy for you.

you have been through a lot losing your husband, I doubt any of the people sniping would want to swap places with you.

If I were a true friend, I'd be happy for you. Anything else is jealousy.

I can't understand people who would make shitty comments about this. Least of all people who class themselves as friends.

I'd be delighted for you. In fact, as a stranger on the screen I am delighted you can have an easier time and better work-life balance.

It's fucking awful losing your life partner (I was widowed way too young) and any financial benefits in no way make up for that loss. I wish you the very best for the next phase of your life. Enjoy it, take the good friends with you and dump the ones who add nothing but snark and envy.

I get too tired working full time. Working 3 days is perfect. Social interaction, out the house, not wrecked. I think that’s a good reason not no reason.

Good on you OP, sounds brilliant.

I work 3 days a week on same income as I was earning full time a few years ago, means I am more available for my school-age DC and can get all the household chores done and admin. Not sure I could go back to full time, but if financial need meant I had to, I would. Embrace the shorter weeks.

To be honest, I don’t know if I would have an opinion either way. If you told me I would be think ‘oh ok’.

Cant say I would be over the moon happy, or annoyed or jealous. It would be something that just is. It’s neither a negative or a positive in way of impact on me.

People should just live their lives. Unless it’s people you thought were friends and close to. It shouldn’t matter what they think.

Fair play to you, I’d be envious but also you deserve it if you can do it, life’s for living and if it means you get free time then fab!!
and you need better friends!

I have three close friends aged around 50 all of whom have lost their husbands in the last 3 years. Pretty much every day I marvel at how they manage just to keep going, doing and being everything to their children. I would never dream of making the kind of comments you are talking about. These people do not sound very nice.

They are, of course, jealous. They need to get much better at hiding it though.

I'd be really pleased for you 🥳 . But you're friends sound really unpleasant not least the jibe about a widow's pension, I can't imagine how someone can think that's an okay thing to say.
Anyway forget them and enjoy your freed up time, hopefully you'll make some really good supportive friends.

My friend is in a similar position after losing both her husband and her job in quick succession. She found another job three days a week. She loves the balance it gives her. It is the less money but a lot less stress and more fun.

Literally this is no one else's business, but is there a chance its light hearted and you're being sensitive?
My friend and colleague retired early and I would often say ey it's alright for some, enjoy the dog walks and lie ins etc but she knew I would miss her like crazy and was gutted she was going

Without knowing the ins and outs of your new job I would have assumed you had a windfall or winding down due to sickness. If i knew of your new job details I would be jealous because 3 days work for 5 days pay is a step up many dream of.

Sorry for your loss, first of all. As you are old enough to have adult children I’m going to assume you are at least in your 50s. If you started working part time, I would assume you were easing yourself into eventual retirement (probably in the next five years or so) and that reducing your working days was a sensible interim move. Stopping work abruptly without building up other interests always strikes me as an unwise plan.

I am pleased for you @Getonnow , as would be any decent person. It sounds like an ideal arrangement.

I would imagine you are a modest person who has largely got on with their life without too much grandstanding. I am, and I find that people who don’t know me occasionally make incorrect assumptions, then act jealous when they realise they were wrong. It’s helpful because it shows who they really are.

Just a practical consideration - if the new work arrangement suits you, would you consider moving house to a property that better suits your current circumstances. It could shorten your commute and free up more time for other things.

I'm thinking good for you, having a decent work / life balance.
I loved working PT, 3 days is just enough.

I'd think, good for you!

Take no notice so what suits you it sounds like jealousy and noting more.

Amazing opportunity - go for it and use the extra time to cultivate some less bitter and jealous friends! Perhaps the next time you get a comment ask them why they seem so bitter towards your success, especially given what you’ve been through.

No friend would be bitter or sniping about this. You are quite right it's a no-brainer and anyone sensible would leap at the chance to earn the same money with fewer work days. Anyone who is bitter or sniping is not your friend.

Totally jealous. What normal person wouldn't go part time if they can afford it, you're living the dream!

I'm surprised your friends are raising their eyebrows at this, because everyone I know (mostly over 50) is going part-time or looking to retire altogether. Hardly anyone is sticking at 5 days a week unless they have to do so. Most of my friends work part-time and always have done, in a range of fields, and several of our new hires at work have come in on three days a week (mostly mature staff).

I would love to work 3 days per week. I think that’s the perfect life/work balance.

My Mum did a gap year when my youngest sibling went to uni and then worked 3 days per week. Since 19 she had worked, been a SAHM when we were young and then worked when we were all at school (and basically did all the housework/child stuff as DF travelled) I was so pleased for her. Life is short (as you know) enjoy it (and get new friends).