Do you view registry office weddings as equal?

[Inyourwildestdreams]

Just wondering what people’s thoughts are on this tbh. If you’re invited to a registry office wedding (reg office then a meal out fully paid for) do you view it as equal to being invited to a “big” wedding in a church/wedding venue etc?

Do you put the same effort in to attending/outfits/a gift?

Of course.

Yes, absolutely. A wedding is a wedding. Obviously if the couple say "no gifts" or "casual dress" I'll go with that.

Depends on the dress code? I had a low key wedding and people wore smart clothes but hats and 'mother of the bride' type outfits would have looked out of place.

I’d be more delighted and flattered to be one of a select few invited. I’d definitely make the same effort to show my love and respect for the happy couple.

Attending - yes
Outfit - I think registry office weddings tend to be a bit less formal in terms of dress
Gift - yes

What does 'equal' mean? Of course a civil wedding is equal. And if the couple are not religious, not swathed into hypocrisy. Make solemn vows in a Church in front of a Vicar, if you are believers, but otherwise do not. Churches are not for posh video shoots.

I’d view it as an equal wedding to one in a church. I’d put the same effort into attending, if it was someone’s wedding I wanted to attend.

I might rethink my outfit depending on how formal the restaurant was, compared to say a 5 star hotel hosting a tie wedding.

RO weddings have always been more casual in just about every way from my experience. Personally it wouldn’t change what I wear or how much I gift though.

Yes, yes yes. And applaud them for not wasting 20k on a day like I did! All I wanted was a happy marriage which I've got, wish we'd gone to Gretna.

A wedding is the process of getting married.
It's the marriage that counts.
So the wedding is the celebration of the expected marriage.
I think people obsess about 'weddings' way too much.

(Married over 40 years. Registry office wedding.)

I would prefer a registry office invite, more intimate, I dont enjoy big weddings, too many people and too formal for my liking.
I would still gift the same and make an effort to dress well, although I'm not a hat and heels type of dresser anyway.

Equal in all senses, yes. I'd dress for a wedding and buy a wedding gift. No difference.

Yes and prefer.

Why wouldn't it be...? The only difference between church and registry office is that one includes vows in front of God and the other a registrar. As for the meal, you can have a church wedding and go to a restaurant or community hall or back garden for reception, or go to a registry office and go to a stately home for the reception.

As for what your wear - unless the dress code is morning suit or black tie for either, you'd wear the same thing? And why wouldn't you give a gift for a registry office wedding - it's still a celebration. Do you have this dilemma on whether to give a bday card if someone has a house party or a a big do elsewhere??

Anyone who makes up daft rules about weddings does so because there isn't anything else in life where they feel special and that is the real tragedy.

Yes, though I wear an outfit based on the occasion, weddings vary eg I've been to festival style ones and I wore very different clothes to the one in a castle!

Of course!
I had a registry office wedding and showed up in the full white princess dress. Colour coordinated bridesmaids. Men in kilts. Both our mums in mother of the bride outfits (DHs Mum upstaged mine a little!).
The full thing. Because why not.
Everyone seemed like they were taking it seriously. They certainly drank a lot and had fun.

I think with dress code I’d still go dressy like I would for a big venue type wedding - but you could always state in your invite what the dress code vibe is like maybe, if you want dressy put it in the invite to dress to impress or something less cheesy 😂.

Id still give the same level of gift too.

Yes, I'd be more inclined to accept

We both come from large branches of historical European christianity but never did the church thing, nor a big venue. We did a registry office and pub meal and few pictures with few relatives and yes, if we did it this way, why not many others ?!

Is registry office wedding less?
Do we non believers not deserve guests/nicely dressed guests/gifts ? 🙈

Thanks everyone 😊 Just wondered if I was being weird in my thinking 😅

@JurassicParkaha I was asking based on our families attitudes to our wedding, not a dilemma I was having myself 😊

We are having a very small registry office wedding with only immediate family and feel like their attitude towards it has been a bit odd 😅 But it’s coming from both sides of the family so I wondered if it was me that had odd views.
Personally I’d put the same effort in in all respects unless, like others have mentioned, I was specifically told to dress a certain way (eg, more casual).

So far we’ve had outfits mentioned (“well I won’t be putting a suit on for a registry office wedding!”), one that will “be there for the meal but won’t be coming into town for the registry office” 😅 and one that specifically mentioned not to expect gifts if people aren’t getting a “proper wedding” 😅

Personally, I don’t care about any of it - DP and I will be there and we’ll be getting married which is the important part. People can turn up (or not 😅) and wear what they like. And we don’t expect gifts. I just wondered what the general view was lol

I would make it easy on them and uninvite...

I WAY prefer registry office weddings to "big" weddings. They're so much less stressful and expensive and time-consuming for all concerned, and commensurate to what's actually happening between the couple.

So, to me, registry office > big wedding.

@Grilledsquid it’s my wedding 😂 fellow non believer 🙋🏻‍♀️

Yes!

I hope my wedding guests did too.