Do you view registry office weddings as equal?

[Inyourwildestdreams]

Just wondering what people’s thoughts are on this tbh. If you’re invited to a registry office wedding (reg office then a meal out fully paid for) do you view it as equal to being invited to a “big” wedding in a church/wedding venue etc?

Do you put the same effort in to attending/outfits/a gift?

Why would it be cheaper, necessarily? It’s just the ceremony venue, and the cost there is the same. I’ve been to registry office weddings which were for biggish numbers and had big hotel receptions after, just like church ones.
The only difference was that the couple weren’t either religious or hypocritical.

The only thing that would be different for me would be the outfit - I would go for a more business like attire - still a nice dress and of course would do my hair and makeup, but again more toned down than a “big” wedding
i would consider it more important- as in I’m important enough to the couple to count me in a small ceremony and of course the girt would be the same (if not more) than for a “big” wedding - at least I would put more thought on it

But you can have exactly the same fuss with a registry office. Why would you think you can’t?

I don’t get it. Why would you dress differently because the actual ceremony is in a registry office? I’m genuinely confused by this. Can you explain?

Your family/friends are weird, @Inyourwildestdreams
As are many on this thread. The registry office is just a venue - a stately home wedding is exactly the same. A church has a spiritual element but that’s the only difference. My choice of clothes might be influenced by the reception venue, but not by the ceremony venue.

So glad I am not the only one being confused here😂

I'm RC and distinguish between sacramental weddings and civil. The bells and whistles of any given civil wedding don't make a difference. They're all legal (as long as people having a sacramental wedding sign the register too).

I got married in a Register Office many, many years ago and my grandmother commented "well, that will spoil it". Miserable old bag.
We did exactly what we wanted, and of course it's "equal" - you are legally married at the end of it.

And to note- I've been to several town hall or county courthouse weddings and dressed formally, sent a gift, etc. They are solemn and joyful occasions. I've also been to civil weddings on beaches, in parks, and in hotels - dressed up, sent gift, cheered the happy couples on.

Surely what you wear depends on the dress code that might be indicated on the invitation? A wedding featuring hayrides would warrant suitable clothes, ditto an evening event in a hotel, and the time of day also suggests certain styles - a wedding breakfast and a cocktail party will have different styles.

I think they're better. Only people who are religious should get married in Church.

Yeah, I'd put the same effort in. It's horses for courses - for some couple it's their preference because it's convenient, or inexpensive, or in some cases they happen to live near a particularly nice one.

I can't believe your family are reacting like this OP. I've never heard anything like it. All the registry office weddings I've attended the guests have dressed just like a church wedding with some women in hats, most of the men in suits. As for the gift, who doesn't buy a wedding gift? Uninvite them I would if they don't think it's "proper".

Attendance and gift would be the same. I think RO weddings can be a bit unpredictable. I've been to some that had all the bells and whistles, some that were VERY casual followed by things like picnics and rounders in the park. Then some that were a strange mix of both, like my cousins wedding where half the guests showed up in formal wear and the other half in jeans and t-shirts.

I'd personally find the registry office wedding more superior. In large weddings, I find a lot of things are unnecessary.

No, because the couple would be living in sin.........Yes, of course I would. Who wouldn't?

Again - why is everyone assuming a registry office wedding isn’t large? I’m completely confused.

Surely the invitation indictates what will happen afterwards and people dress accordingly?

It's the OP who stated that hers was small with only immediate family attending.

Yes, but you commented about registry office weddings. You could equally have a small wedding in a church.

Or a small wedding in a 'proper venue'. Like mine. In a museum/stately home.
But it is the OP who said "big" wedding in her OP, and then went on to say that hers was small, so I think what's she's comparing with is clear? What's with all the pickiness regarding size?

Btw the family probably know this registry office and exactly how grand, or otherwise, it is.

Yes, I would consider it equal.
The only difference I would plan a warmer outfit for a church wedding 🙂

@macedoniann im not being picky. Many posters seem to assume that every RO wedding will be small/informal. It’s just weird. Apologies if you aren’t part of that, but that’s how it read when you referred to a registry office wedding rather than a small one.
Edit: the OP put “big” which implied to me that they considered a church wedding bigger just by virtue of location.

Only religious people should have church weddings. Just getting married in a church because it’s pretty or because it’s what other people do is a shallow way to begin your marriage.

a registry office wedding is a full-blown wedding.

It was @Mairzydotes that compared it to a 'large' wedding but really. PP are referring to it because of the terminology used by the OP. They are not assuming. She has stated what hers is like and compared it to a 'big' wedding.

Personally I think OP just put it as shorthand along with 'proper' to imply a more 'traditional' wedding. 'Grand' might be another word.

You can rent a big room in registry offices just as you can rent a small room in a 5 star hotel (and have a wedding that costs 1K per person!).