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Was it grabby to ask my parents about Christmas money?

136 replies

bluetongue · 28/01/2024 06:31

My parents are boomers. Not wealthy but I’m pretty sure they’ve got lots of savings (talking about money is awkward in my family). They never really go on really nice holidays or treat themselves even though I know they can afford. I wasn’t even allowed to rip wrapping paper off presents as a kid because it had to be reused to save money! They continue this mindset even to today.

They had ‘ordinary’ jobs but managed to pay off their mortgage in 9 years and my dad is on a gold plated final wage pension that I could only dream of. They still complain about the high interest rates they paid and seem a little out of touch as to how much harder it is to juggle expenses and pay off a mortgage. Mine is probably going to take the full 30 years at the moment. I’m single with am okay wage but far from enough for every thing I need / want. I recently managed to get a promotion and work bloody hard for an essential government department.

I’ve never received an inheritance apart from 10k from my grandfather a few years ago. My parents did help me with my house deposit which I’ll acknowledge was a huge help but I otherwise pay for everything myself.

My house is going through a stage where it needs some costly repairs. As most people know the cost of getting trades in has risen hugely. I also need to update my car as the one I currently have is over 20 years old.

I me mentioned to them today that maybe it would be good if my sister and I could get some Christmas money (we usually get some amount of money for Christmas). Apparently they have been discussing it in the previous week but need to get around to transferring it to us. My mum doesn’t have internet banking because she ‘doesn’t trust it’. My dad does though. How hard is it to transfer money online? I can’t believe it’s February and they haven’t got around to sending the Christmas money. I hate having to ask but while they are lovely and mean well they have terrible life skills sometimes.

OP posts:
Gloryloroliesjo · 28/01/2024 17:23

Referring to your parents as Boomers is so disrespectful,you don’t deserve a penny !

NewName24 · 28/01/2024 17:28

cariadlet · 28/01/2024 17:17

What's the difference between a pile-on and a majority of people reading a post, interpreting it in the same way and reaching the same opinion of a poster?

I wonder this, too.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 28/01/2024 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StarlightLime · 28/01/2024 18:08

Arf at "I got help with my house deposit but did everything else myself 😂
Go you!!
Your entitlement is outside all normal boundaries.

Namenamchange · 28/01/2024 18:12

Ask them, they can only say no. If I can help my children with money later I will. I hate them to struggle if could help.

Mothership4two · 04/02/2024 01:51

There's definitely a little bit of snippiness on this thread with a whiff of the GEM. Parents giving money isn't that unusual (tell me about it!) and it's obviously the parent's choice to do it. I assume OP didn't come on here to get derogatory comments about her lifestyle choices.

As it's a late Christmas present (and you need it) a polite nudge is fine - I wouldn't take offence and would appreciate it, but then we would have paid it in immediately.

Mothership4two · 04/02/2024 01:54

Is "boomer" insulting? I thought the baby boomer/boomer generation was a known and widely used term

Honeychickpea · 04/02/2024 02:08

Mothership4two · 04/02/2024 01:54

Is "boomer" insulting? I thought the baby boomer/boomer generation was a known and widely used term

When you are using it as a reason that someone older than you should hand you money, yes.

BlindurErBóklausMaður · 04/02/2024 07:21

Mothership4two · 04/02/2024 01:54

Is "boomer" insulting? I thought the baby boomer/boomer generation was a known and widely used term

You've answered your own question.

"baby boomer" is fine and has been used for decades. No negative connotations .

"boomer" on its own is invariably used to insult.

Readingtheworld · 04/02/2024 07:38

I am late to this thread and you are probably long gone OP but I wanted to say I don’t think you are grabby. My parents are like this. They are well intentioned just disorganised. Christmas money promised but rarely given, it’s my birthday next week, I’ll maybe get a card late as they don’t consider the post will be late these days. There is no point reminding them about it as I remind them about my siblings birthdays and they still don’t do anything. They intend do, just don’t. And so many more things like this.

They are ageing and quickly, and now worry about giving us money and it being taxed if they pass away but not then thinking then let’s pass it on quickly so there is less chance of inheritance tax.

I don’t think it’s grabby to want your parents to carry out the actions they have said they would.

Honeychickpea · 04/02/2024 12:17

bluetongue · 28/01/2024 07:42

See my previous post for amount of money (not large). No, My sister and I got nothing this Christmas. They always give us cash, eventually, but procrastinate about everything so need prodding every year which I hate. They are just a bit exasperating about never getting around to anything.

You prod your parents after Christmas every year to give you money? Do you not yet get the hint that they don't want to do this, or you do, hence the 'prodding'? I'd write you out of the will and cut off contact.

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