Overheard thread

[LordEmsworth]

"It was meant to be a quiet one on Wednesday, but Katie's threatening to escalate it. She's talking about booking Friday off, I'm like 'Katie we're only going for pizza!!!' " 😮😂

Yesterday morning, walking back from school, two girls, possibly 11.

^Ah man! Jamaica and Russia's completely different countries!"

I'd like to have heard the lead up to it!

@LordEmsworth You've just reminded me I've got a Crosta and Mollica pizza... going to pop it in the oven 😋

A man in 50s on the phone: ' just be assertive and stand up for yourself. Be strong my pet, I know you can do it, I believe in you. Love you'.

Presumably talking to an adult or teen child. Made me a bit emotional, my Dad would never talk to me like that.

Yeah and there is going about in her fucking Mercedes. Rich cunt.

Overheard in Asda 😆

On bus.
Schoolkid on phone, rifling through notebook:

"...no, George Eliot was a woman, you fucking idiot"

😆

Overheard on the train a few years ago but I posted it on my FB timeline and always chuckle when it comes up in my memories...

Overheard on the train: Girl 1: "What's the most widely spoken language in the world? It's English, innit?" Girl 2: "No, it's Chinese as there is so many of them. Or is it Japanese?" Girl 3: "It's Mandarin." Girl 1: "That's a fruit." Girl 2: "No, that's Mangerine." Girl 3: "Do you mean Tangerine?" Girl 1: "I'm so confused."

In McDonalds sitting behind 3 men. Man one " what do u like in a woman?" Man two "independence and not too clingy" Man three "my cock!"
Suffice to say I spat my coffee out all over the table 🤣🤣🤣

“ are you calling instagram a lier?”
said by neighbours girlfriend during one of their rows heard through the walls.
I gather she was checking his social media

On train, overhearing a young woman having a loud conversation about a disappointing spray tan, “it was awful, I mean, I’m not even orange!”

CampfireZen · Today 17:01

"...no, George Eliot was a woman, you fucking idiot"

Ha hah! Excellent!

2 early high school lads taking a photo of 2 pigeons having sex on a pub sign. Boy 1, ever so politely, “Excuuuuse me Mr Pigeon, you can’t be shagging in public”.

Overheard in Ely.
“Why is her waving at we when us don’t know she. “

😂I hear these and I think, I should earwig more 😋

I think I’ve just wet myself. Ds actually lifted up his oculus (had forgotten what his face looked like) to ask what I was laughing at 😂😂😂

Years ago when Dd was at primary school we were walking behind one of the boys in her class and his mum he said
“mum if I had lots of money I would pay to make you slim especially around your bottom”
Dd still talks about it now

'It's freezing, there's no cafe and there's no toilet. It's rubbish!' Fellow walker on the summit of Scafell Pike.

I overheard an elderly lady chatting cheerfully to her presumably grandson 'so suicide is when you kill yourself, then there's fracticide, that's when you kill your brother, and matricide.. ' etc. child was about ten

Overheard on the bus home from town.

"And she named the baby Tia Maria."

Sat next to a young lad in Euston station once and he was on the phone, chatting with someone about the appalling name his friend had named their kid. He was saying something along the lines of "But they've named her NeeAmHuh. NeeAmHuh! It's stupid!"

Clocked a few seconds later the name must have been Niamh....

My daughter (21 at the time ) kept telling me she needed a 'carpenter'. I asked her what wooden item she needed fixing and she looked at me confused. "No mum, I need a carpet fitting"
Needless to say I nearly fell over laughing and to this day it still amuses me 😂😂

Nothing to add but love threads like this easily nomination to classics marks place

Policeman looking at his notebook, "Sigh Oh Barn, that's a funny name." His puzzled colleague thought for a minute and said, "It's Irish Siobhan."

Middleaged man on his phone, "Tell her to use a jamjar." Pause then angrily "I've told you tell her to use a jamjar." Another pause and very angry, "I've told you to tell her to use a jamjar and I'm not telling you again." I so wanted to ask him what she needed to use a jamjar for.

Good timing for this post. This was in my FB memories today

At the mall, two teenage girls talking and one sad "it wasn’t just murdering someone. It was murdering a pregnant woman so I could steal her baby"

In the 99p store (so years ago.) I overheard two young lads talking, one of them said 'That girl's hair is sick!'

I was the only female down that aisle, felt very pleased with myself! My hair is still very long, just a bit greyer now. 😁 Wish I'd had the presence of mind to say thank you!

"London pizza but no chips or garlic please and a salad with nothing but coleslaw"

Woman at the local takeaway.