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What do you look like in your head?

100 replies

VampireWeekday · 26/01/2024 19:42

I was talking with friends about body dysphoria today - not the gender kind, but where a person just doesn't feel like their body looks like "the real them" at all, perhaps they perceive their body as very ugly. And it turned out that we (all women) had a whole range of mental images of ourselves in our heads.

Two of my friends think of themselves as really ugly, in a way they admit is disproportionate to what they actually look like, both nice looking women. One friend said she has an almost 2D cartoon like picture of herself in her mind, another that she pictures herself as looking different to what she actually looks like. A few of us think of ourselves as more beautiful than we really are. I'm like this. It's hard to explain: I know what I look like, obviously, and think I look plain and average (can point to features I like and features I don't) but in my head (or my "minds eye" or whatever you call it) I am beautiful, and look a bit like Emma Stone. Hilarious, to say out loud. It's not that I think this when I'm actually trying to seriously picture myself, it's more of a "vibe" or general background feeling. Some people had no idea what we were talking about and either don't picture themselves at all, or picture themselves as lookin exactly like they look like.

So anyway it got me wondering how other people picture themselves when they're not really thinking about it. How do you picture yourself in your own head?

OP posts:
Tulipvase · 26/01/2024 20:20

A weeble

Thehamsterthatcametotea · 26/01/2024 20:21

Short, stumpy and haggard 😂

DaftyLass · 26/01/2024 20:22

In my head I am about three sizes smaller, so I tend to bump in to things all the time.
I look clumsy and oafish, because I don't leave room for the size I really am.

ssd · 26/01/2024 20:24

Bloody gorgeous and not a wee fat blob

ssd · 26/01/2024 20:25

Tulipvase · 26/01/2024 20:20

A weeble

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down

Eminybob · 26/01/2024 20:27

I definitely feel more attractive than I actually am. Slimmer too.
I guess I still have the image of myself when I was at my best in my 20s. When I catch myself off-guard in a photo or video I am appalled at how fat, ugly and old looking I am.
It really is quite depressing.

runningonberocca · 26/01/2024 20:28

I’m another who thinks I’m younger.slimmer and way more of a rock chick than I am! I’m nearly 50, overweight with a head full of greying frizz… oh well!!

BrightBlueFlamingo · 26/01/2024 20:28

Thinner, cooler, well put together, a little bit quirky. Reality, a fat, very ordinary bag lady🙈

BetteDavisChin · 26/01/2024 20:32

In my head I am taller, slimmer, and better looking, also:
my eyes are the same level as one another;
my nose isn't bright red;
I have a shapely bottom instead of a pancake;
I move like a model, instead of a bricklayer.

😆

Tulipvase · 26/01/2024 20:39

ssd · 26/01/2024 20:25

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down

Ha I can be pretty clumsy too. Attractive huh.

VampireWeekday · 26/01/2024 21:30

Very interesting, so it seems that most so far are like me, walk around with a younger and more beautiful version! Must be good for the confidence at least.

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut this was so well put, I know exactly what you mean. It always takes me a moment of shock when I look in the mirror and remember what I look like, and I think partly its the mismatch you describe, especially if it's a weird angle. Only when the few seconds of shock wear off can I start to be objective.

OP posts:
notprincehamlet · 26/01/2024 21:44

Like a sock filled with cottage cheese and with mismatched eyebrows drawn on.
Every Teams meeting confirms this to be accurate.

elliejjtiny · 26/01/2024 21:48

In my head I look like a slightly curvier version of the princess of wales. In reality I look like a fatter version of bellatrix lestrange in Harry potter.

DryIce · 26/01/2024 21:50

I have a theory this is why so many people are convinced they look loads younger than they are. Just like when I look at my 6yo, I can kind of also see the baby/toddler/preschooler that was - we have a lifetime of images of ourselves superimposed onto our minds eyes. And probably the ones the most saved and revisited are those memories or pictures where we looked fab!

Trickofthetrade · 26/01/2024 21:58

I look like Shrek. Only not as green....

Bandwaggon · 26/01/2024 22:10

I'm definitely thinner in my head than I am in real life, with a much better imaginary figure.

But actually I think my face might look better in real life than it does in my head. I picture it as a big round flat pancake of a face, viewing it straight on. But when I see photos or videos that I didn't know were being taken, I see it from different angles (sideways on, three quarters, etc) and it often looks quite pretty, much nicer than the face in my head.

stcrispinsday · 26/01/2024 22:11

I imagine myself as I was at 30 and am continually shocked to see a fat middle aged woman staring back at me in the mirror.

lollipoprainbow · 26/01/2024 22:14

Stormbornform · 26/01/2024 19:45

A sexier version of reality 😂

Me too until I catch a glimpse in a mirror or someone takes a photo !

ChiefEverythingOfficer · 26/01/2024 22:32

I can't imagine myself as I have Aphantasia (can't see pictures in my head).

It's great, except for the times when I catch a glance in the mirror and think - who the fuck is that...oh it's me..😱😱😱😱

CheerfulBunny · 26/01/2024 22:41

This is really interesting because I think I look nothing like I do in photos in reality, even in the mirror. Photos seem to squash me and make me look shorter and dumpier than I am. I also don't seem to be able to compose my face into a natural expression for photos anymore, I just look weird or sarcastic, like Chandler in that Friends episode 'The One with the Engagement Photo' 🙄yet I can look in the mirror and frustratingly, look fine.

ShiftySquirrel · 26/01/2024 22:45

In my head I look like Beyonce in the 2000s, sexy, sophisticated, slim... in reality I am an overweight, be-spectacled, middle aged woman with the complexion and hair of Wednesday Addams.

When I catch my reflection, it is my mother looking back. There's no spoilers in my life, the women in my family are like Russian dolls. DD looks like me, I look like DM, and we all looked like my DGM!

warmheartcoldfeet · 26/01/2024 22:47

I look better in my imagination than in reality. Always a bit shocked when I walk past one of those mirrors in a shop.
In my mind's eye I'm still quite fit and slim with a flat tummy and glossy chestnut hair.
It's great that your eyesight gradually dulls as you age - my skin looks flawless and I can't see a single grey hair 😄

WesterChick · 26/01/2024 22:48

I'm in my forties and have recently been working out, using weights, taking collagen and magnesium and all the stuff that's supposed to help perimenopause.

The result is I feel amazing but still look shit which is a constant surprise when I take drunken selfies Confused

warmheartcoldfeet · 26/01/2024 22:50

I did hear a thing on the radio recently about our brain creating the image we want to see in our mirror at home. The nice soft focus version isn't real its our own imagination 😬

Hiwhoeveryyouare · 26/01/2024 22:51

I was told by a guy who took my photo several times when we last went away that I "look much better in real life, don't worry". He was good at taking pictures too! I think I look a bit like a cross between Gwenneth Paltrow and The Count from The Muppets. Very thin and tall but huge nose and very pale. Tiny eyes, big lips, quite clumsy, thin hair. Probably more negative than positive.