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What do you look like in your head?

100 replies

VampireWeekday · 26/01/2024 19:42

I was talking with friends about body dysphoria today - not the gender kind, but where a person just doesn't feel like their body looks like "the real them" at all, perhaps they perceive their body as very ugly. And it turned out that we (all women) had a whole range of mental images of ourselves in our heads.

Two of my friends think of themselves as really ugly, in a way they admit is disproportionate to what they actually look like, both nice looking women. One friend said she has an almost 2D cartoon like picture of herself in her mind, another that she pictures herself as looking different to what she actually looks like. A few of us think of ourselves as more beautiful than we really are. I'm like this. It's hard to explain: I know what I look like, obviously, and think I look plain and average (can point to features I like and features I don't) but in my head (or my "minds eye" or whatever you call it) I am beautiful, and look a bit like Emma Stone. Hilarious, to say out loud. It's not that I think this when I'm actually trying to seriously picture myself, it's more of a "vibe" or general background feeling. Some people had no idea what we were talking about and either don't picture themselves at all, or picture themselves as lookin exactly like they look like.

So anyway it got me wondering how other people picture themselves when they're not really thinking about it. How do you picture yourself in your own head?

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 26/01/2024 22:54

WesterChick · 26/01/2024 22:48

I'm in my forties and have recently been working out, using weights, taking collagen and magnesium and all the stuff that's supposed to help perimenopause.

The result is I feel amazing but still look shit which is a constant surprise when I take drunken selfies Confused

What about you looks shit?

Disturbia81 · 26/01/2024 22:59

In the contrary to this though (which has been a depressing read seeing how women speak about themselves) as I'm going about my every day life... most people look nicer than photos, we don't see the flaws in other people etc

So you guys look in the mirror and see something nice.. then see a photo and get a shock.. but then photos are 2d and unflattering.. we actually look better in real life so closer to the mirror image?

Blarn · 26/01/2024 23:00

I picture myself as I did maybe 12 or so years ago, so mid-late 20s. Then I always thought I was larger than I was so the size matches up now. But in my head I still have that young face. Expect my face looks like someone of nearing 40a. It just isn't as sharp along the jaw and it really does surprise me when I catch my reflection.

hazandduck · 26/01/2024 23:06

BetteDavisChin · 26/01/2024 20:32

In my head I am taller, slimmer, and better looking, also:
my eyes are the same level as one another;
my nose isn't bright red;
I have a shapely bottom instead of a pancake;
I move like a model, instead of a bricklayer.

😆

I’m crying 😂😂 these replies!

In my mind my posture is not like Mr Burns’ and my nose is not massive and pointy! Always shocked when the photos prove otherwise 🙄

Blarn · 26/01/2024 23:08

Blarn · 26/01/2024 23:00

I picture myself as I did maybe 12 or so years ago, so mid-late 20s. Then I always thought I was larger than I was so the size matches up now. But in my head I still have that young face. Expect my face looks like someone of nearing 40a. It just isn't as sharp along the jaw and it really does surprise me when I catch my reflection.

I also now look like my mum. I definitely don't picture myself as my mum.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 26/01/2024 23:10

I think I look younger in my head than I actually do. I always looked 'young' for my age but now when I catch a glimpse of myself I know I now look exactly my age!!

Oh my goodness, this is me too! It always shocks and depresses me to see the wrinkles!

I have two very separate images of myself depending on my mood: one is the absolute best version of myself, as a PP has said (and I get a horrible shock when I see myself in shop mirrors), the other is of an absolute troll and sometimes I am pleasantly surprised when I catch a glimpse of myself in shops. I suppose in reality, I'm somewhere in between but it goes to show the power of our minds and emotions over our self perception.

I have a very similar issue with my body: in a good mood, I think I look great, in a bad one, I hate myself for my hips being almost 37 inches and not 35, like a model's, which is absolutely ridiculous. I think media plays a huge part, whether it's on a conscious level or not! As a 90s teen, my weight and the size of my hips are inextricably linked to my activeness or lack of!

Disturbia81 · 26/01/2024 23:19

Blarn · 26/01/2024 23:00

I picture myself as I did maybe 12 or so years ago, so mid-late 20s. Then I always thought I was larger than I was so the size matches up now. But in my head I still have that young face. Expect my face looks like someone of nearing 40a. It just isn't as sharp along the jaw and it really does surprise me when I catch my reflection.

Lose weight and regain the sharp jaw.

BigFatCat2024 · 26/01/2024 23:19

But not blue....

What do you look like in your head?
leighanneJ · 26/01/2024 23:21

In my head i look alright, in the mirror so so and on a photo - god damn awful! Hate looking at myself!

RenoDakota · 26/01/2024 23:37

In my head I look like Mariella Frostrup but get a big dose of reality when I catch sight of myself in a shop window - slouching and gurning.

Blarn · 26/01/2024 23:55

Disturbia81 · 26/01/2024 23:19

Lose weight and regain the sharp jaw.

I did lose weight, after gaining it on antidepressants which I'd probably have ended my own life without. I was thin and unhappy, then about a stone overweight and happy and medicated, now I am a normal weight and the plumpness of my face has gone and left it softer. I am not unhappy with how I look, just surprised sometimes that I am nearly 40.

Shodan · 26/01/2024 23:56

RenoDakota · 26/01/2024 23:37

In my head I look like Mariella Frostrup but get a big dose of reality when I catch sight of myself in a shop window - slouching and gurning.

I don't know why but this really made me laugh 😂(sorry). Gurning is one of my favourite words as well.

At the moment, I'm a stone or two overweight but mostly think "still looking good". When DP looks at me I feel like a proper Sexeh Laydee.

And then I catch sight of myself in the mirror and think "Oof. There's a lot too much flab knocking around. Should do something about that."

My solution is not to look in the mirror too much until I can muster up the will to diet.

Disturbia81 · 27/01/2024 00:01

@Blarn Ahh I see, sorry wasn't being blunt, just you sound like all is lost so just thought I'd say losing a bit would sort it. 40 is not old at all.
My jawline is sharp as ever but goes soft if I gain too much.

Pozz · 27/01/2024 00:21

As a younger woman I was quite confident, chatty, flirty even. Fast forward 25 years and I think I still have most of that confidence but the looks and body are going south! Do we carry our confidence from younger years with us into later life?

Disturbia81 · 27/01/2024 00:38

Pozz · 27/01/2024 00:21

As a younger woman I was quite confident, chatty, flirty even. Fast forward 25 years and I think I still have most of that confidence but the looks and body are going south! Do we carry our confidence from younger years with us into later life?

I feel more confident with every passing year.

Morewineplease10 · 27/01/2024 01:07

Yep. Younger, thinner and prettier than the reality here too!

Better than the other way around!

MidnightMeltdown · 27/01/2024 01:08

I think I look slimmer than I am. I saw a photo recently that Evri posted showing a parcel delivery, and was shocked at how fat my legs looked Shock

Castellanos · 27/01/2024 01:17

This thread has got Suzi Quattro's fat nan vibes 😂

Scorchio84 · 27/01/2024 01:20

Right now I'm working my way back to my bespoke Wonder Woman costume I wore 10 years ago (Don't worry I wasn't hoovering the sitting room ! It was gig related) It's my bench mark for when I can fit back into it... soon!

Scorchio84 · 27/01/2024 01:22

Castellanos · 27/01/2024 01:17

This thread has got Suzi Quattro's fat nan vibes 😂

😂😂 & the fat match stick or was that the same person?

PeggySooo · 27/01/2024 01:30

Like I do in the mirror.

Ohdojustfuckoff · 27/01/2024 01:39

I've got a really bad self image. I lost a lot of weight in 2020 -circa 10 stone.
I have put on 3 of those lost stones (2 pregnancies)
I still feel like I looked at my heaviest.
I feel untidy and unkempt, and worn down.

I do not recognise myself in pictures. My skin is brighter, clothes are better fitting (if very casual!) And I look more put together than in my minds eye, I am!

Though in my minds eye, I have a bit more hair than I evidently have!

asquideatingdough · 27/01/2024 01:49

I really don't know what I truly look like because mirrors all are different and photos too. Also when you look down at your own body things are distorted (all I can see are my thighs which I've always hated for being enormous although maybe from a normal angle they aren't?). Photos are 2D so not reliable. I avoid being videoed so don't know from that either. I'd love to get to see myself through my DPs eyes as he seems to think I look amazing!

faxnoink · 27/01/2024 01:54

My mum always told me I was beautiful so my inner voice is kind to myself mostly. I think the way our parents talk to us really influences this as adults

DancingOnMoonbeams · 27/01/2024 02:28

My sister thinks I look like Vivien Leigh (thank you), however in reality I think I look like Miss Hoolie from Balamory!