What do you look like in your head?

[VampireWeekday]

I was talking with friends about body dysphoria today - not the gender kind, but where a person just doesn't feel like their body looks like "the real them" at all, perhaps they perceive their body as very ugly. And it turned out that we (all women) had a whole range of mental images of ourselves in our heads.

Two of my friends think of themselves as really ugly, in a way they admit is disproportionate to what they actually look like, both nice looking women. One friend said she has an almost 2D cartoon like picture of herself in her mind, another that she pictures herself as looking different to what she actually looks like. A few of us think of ourselves as more beautiful than we really are. I'm like this. It's hard to explain: I know what I look like, obviously, and think I look plain and average (can point to features I like and features I don't) but in my head (or my "minds eye" or whatever you call it) I am beautiful, and look a bit like Emma Stone. Hilarious, to say out loud. It's not that I think this when I'm actually trying to seriously picture myself, it's more of a "vibe" or general background feeling. Some people had no idea what we were talking about and either don't picture themselves at all, or picture themselves as lookin exactly like they look like.

So anyway it got me wondering how other people picture themselves when they're not really thinking about it. How do you picture yourself in your own head?

The opposite of the reality.

Love your username... 🤣🤣🤣

I actually can't see myself in my head. Nor anyone else for that matter. It's probably some type of face blindness. But the person I see in the mirror is not the person I see in photographs. It's really weird. What I see in front of me is very, very different. I don't actually know which "me" other people see.

My inner vision of myself is a Joanna Lumley alike. This is a sad delusion. I look in the mirror to see the reality is really more like Kathy Burke.

Like I always look in my (very genorous, soft, low light) bathroom mirror.
I can barely look at some pictures of me in outside full light. It highlights everything! So I avoid them at all costs. Almost 40 now.

I probably have mild body dysmorphia as I look smaller in photos next to people than I think I am and wear dress size 6 but just think of myself as average size (I think average is size 14/16?)

However face-wise, I look better in my head than in photos 😅

Apparently not how others see me at all. But even when I look in the mirror I still have the same image as my minds eye. I wear size 10 clothes. I'm 5ft 7 and 9 stone but yet I see myself as massively overweight, with huge everything apart from boobs. I can't bare to look at myself and as sad as it is, I must have at most 2 or 3 pictures with my kids and DH as I really do feel like the ugliest person alive. I don't even feel like I have a face a mother could love

In my head I look like a young Helena Bonham Carter. In reality I look like Mrs Potato head, only with some of the Mr Potato head pieces jumbled up. So pretty earrings, giant eyebrows, big nose, pretty lips, slight 'tache

I'm definitely slimmer in my head. I hate having my picture taken as it's all to clear that I need to keep going with the diet...

In my head I am plump. But I'm not! I'm size 10, five foot ten and weight ten stone. Gym five times a week but look in the mirror and see big me. Always been this way / reassurance means nothing. Bloody ridiculous me

In my head I look like the best photos of me from my mid 20s. I often get a shock when I see photos of myself.

Judging by the reactions of other people, I see myself as older, fatter and generally worse than other people do.

People might just be being kind or polite, of course. I’m not sure how I could unsee the eye bags, jowliness, gawky teeth, poor posture, wobbly stomach etc though. I look properly rubbish in photos and regularly see myself in teams.

Sandra Bullock. Someone once said I did and I have been holding to that so hard and through 30 more pounds for soooooo long.

Like the best photos of me.

Like a potato on two bread sticks!
I think my hair and face is okay. Just the rest of me that's an issue 🤷‍♀️

This 🤣

My mirror lies, it makes me look 2 stone lighter than I am. I think I'm a size 14 when actually I'm heading in the direction of a 20.

If I could have anything back though, it would be my thick hair. I used to have "good hair". It's now thinning and fading. I never thought I'd be sitting in the hairdresser's getting a dye job.

Wonder Woman 💥

This may sound weird but I kind of forget how I look like a lot of the time.

I forget how a lot of other people look as well if I’m not frequently looking at a picture of them, say on social media.

I often come to the mirror to remind myself 😂 I see myself as a bit chubby with a kind smiling face and the mirror, scale
and measuring tape confirms that for me 😂

I do change my hair a lot though which makes a massive difference to how I look so in fairness depending on which hairstyle I’m rocking I may look quite different.

@SwedishEdith yep, me too!
Actually jump if I catch sight of myself, think ‘who the fuck is that?!’ 🤣

It varies on lighting and who is perceiving me. I have been told I look Eastern European, Greek and Indian..I've been described as slim and then had weight digs at me. I've been told I resemble unattractive celebs.
I think I'm cute with a good shape but certainly not a classical or Hollywood beauty.

I'd say i'm 4 .5/10 currently. There has been people who said I was stunning when I was younger but honestly I wasn't ever that stunning but some people seemed to love how I looked. I suppose I'm polarising and marmite in appearance.

@faxnoink, completely agree.

My grandmother, who was not a nice woman, was incredibly critical of my mother (who was incredibly beautiful) when she was growing up. My mother was determined that her daughters wouldn't suffer in the same way and told us constantly throughout our childhoods that we were clever, beautiful, funny etc

My father was similarly kind and positive and very proud of both of us, so we received constant positive input.

As a result, my sister and I are very confident adults (some might say we have a slightly inflated opinion of ourselves 😄), and I think that is intrinsically linked to how we were spoken to as children.

I'm my head I'm like someone from My 600 lb life. In reality, I'm 5 ft 6 and 130 lbs. I had a cousin who used love telling me how fat I was growing up.

Passable, however, when on video calls I don't recognise myself. I hope people see me the way I think I look in my mind, not on WhatsApp video calls.

I do get defensive about the weight I gained (4 stone in a very short space of time!) as I couldn't prevent it but I also didn't mind it as the benefits of the ADs outweighed (ha!) the weight. I do know 40 isn't old at all so why do I look like my mum!

I do wish I had the confidence I do now when I was young and thin though!