Feel forced into abortion due to finances

[PolledandBolled]

I’d love some advice. I recently found I’m pregnant while in hospital for something completely unrelated. It’s tricky as I wasn’t trying (have copper coil) and the dad is my now ex boyfriend I split with over Christmas. He’s already seeing someone else.

I paid for a private scan this week and I’m 9 weeks. I would like to keep the baby as I’m 29, I have PCOS so periods are irregular and I think I’d make a good mum. It’s just the finances.

I’ve told my ex and he doesn’t want involvement (now blocked) which is fine by me. I know he earns around 26,000 so CMS calculator says this will be £260 a month.

Im mainly worried about maternity leave. I normally earn 1900 after tax but my maternity leave is as follows

8 weeks full pay
16 weeks half pay
Rest SMP

my current bills (I’m going to be really honest)

Car finance- £230
Rent-£700
Utility bills including WiFi- £400
Credit Cards- £150 (minimum amount)
Car insurance- 55.00
Tax- 16
Phone- 48
£1489
Leaves 361 for food/petrol/socialising on a normal month. I have 7.00 in my savings account post Christmas!

I just don’t know how I’m going to survive when my maternity leave goes to 800/900 pound because even with maintenance it’s still going to be only 1100 which won’t cover my bills let alone anything else.

I’ve had some debt left over from my uni days (funded everything myself and couldn’t work as did social work and was on placement) and I’ve been trying hard to pay it off and I’m so worried about missing payments and getting a CCJ.

My parents are not in a financial position to support, they may help with childcare (help my brother currently twice a week and my nephew is going to school in September) but won’t be able to help with money. £700 rent is cheap for our area and I don’t want to sell my car really as I think it’ll isolate me as public transport isn’t great.

I just feel so trapped. My long term plan was to pay off my debt and save for maternity please but this is unexpected of course.

Work at getting the credit cards down, look at the 0% ones. Try and get the car insurance down. Can you get the phone cheaper?

Hiya thank you for your reply- I will work go get them down further and will try and speak to the companies. Can’t get a phone cheaper as annoyingly in a 2 year contract til mid next year.

Universal credit & child benefit

You will get universal credit while on SMP and unpaid ML. I think it is about £600-650 a month for a parent and baby plus the local housing allowance if you rent. It’s not much but will help.

is there any way of changing your car for a cheaper one? £230pm seems an awful lot?

You can also see if your work will pay even payments throughout, makes it easier too budget

You will get UC. I work full time bringing home £1660 a month, I have one child and I get around £400 a month UC plus child benefit, my rent is less than yours too.

Do a UC calculator, entitledto is pretty accurate.

A baby is always a blessing and you will manage with your finances.

When your income drops you apply to suspend your student debt repayments.

Your utility bills is shockingly high! We pay £300 including metered water, gas, electric, one mobile, WiFi and landline. 5 adults in a 5 bed semi 1960s build.

I pay 95 council tax that’s including discount, 40 water, 35 WiFi, 220 gas and electric per month for 2 bed flat. I WFH everyday but don’t go crazy on the heating! Currently sound freezing under a blanket with an oodie on!

No doubt you'll be eligible for benefits with child maintenance on top.

Is your water on a meter? I would expect metered water to be around £20 per month.

You can definitely get cheaper WIFI around £25 we both WFH using a basic service.

Invest in a heated throw so you don't have to sit around feeling cold

Do you have a spare room you can rent?

Yes, think I paid £16 pm for a 2 bed with 2 people in it, around that figure anyway.

You'll get £96 child benefit, and help with rent and universal credit. You earn more than me, I'm a lone parent and manage OK.

People worse off than you have children and make it work , you’ve got family support which lots of people don’t . 💐

Move whatever debt you can to an interest free plan and see if you can take a payment break while on lower pay.

Your energy bill seems really high for a two bed flat!

You will get child benefit (around £85 every four weeks, not much but it does help!) and as others say check out entitled to website.

Save what you can of that £361 between now and when the lower money kicks in.

Work as close to your due date as you can so that you can maximise time after with baby.

Babies need very little so don’t worry about that, so many great second hand bargains out there.

Your maternity pay is better than mine, OP lol.

As a single parent, you will be entitled to UC to top up your income, as well as child benefit and CM from your ex, so it won't be as bad as you think.

Use the time before baby arrives to get your credit cards down as much as possible, and look for baby items on FB marketplace, you don't need to spend a fortune believe me!

This may be controversial on MN but the pregnancy charity Life offers practical help to pregnant women around the UK including accommodation. You may want to get in touch and see how they can help.

lifecharity.org.uk/our-services/pregnancy-matters/

Thank you all. I really appreciate it. I don’t want to seem grabby or ungrateful. I agree my bills are huge. My flat has an immersion heater which I suspect is half the reason it’s so costly.

I would consider a lodger but I’m not sure how many people would want to live with a newborn and I’m not sure how comfortable I feel having a stranger (who might invite guests) around when I’ve just had a child.

I could downsize but it’s actually the same now in our town for a 1 bed. My landlord luckily hasn’t put my rent up as she’s mortgage free. A one bed flat in our town in 2018 used to cost 450-550 now it’s easily 700. Ridiculous

If everyone waited until they could afford children there would be a lot less in the world.
You will find a way financially.
You will also receive universal credit and child benefits and help with childcare costs if you need them.

You might be able to get your name on council housing list too, if you're having a child.

Financially you will work things out, you sound like you've thought it through thoroughly already. I'd follow the advice here from others in the know.

I would say your bigger issue here is deciding if you want to go it alone as life as a single parent is no walk in the park (I've been separated for two years and still struggling every day). You will also be forever bound to this man who does not sound like he would be a good coparent.

Either way it's such a deeply personal choice.

Hi OP,

Like other have said try get your bills lower.

If you do decide to keep the baby. I have bits which I'm getting rid of and if you are anywhere near by you can have them. That will help with things for the baby.