If you're northern do you find southeners a bit patronising sometimes?!

[doyouknowwhatimean]

NC for this as a bit of a rant! Just had to get it off my chest as have met someone recently who is a prime example of what I mean and I find it reallty annoying.

Just to explain I don't mean ALL southeners! So don't say they're not all like that - I know! Lots of my best friends are southern ;-) There's just a certain type.

I'm born and bred Yorkshire. Sometimes I meet people from the south who seem to think we all live in some kind of Hovis advert or were born down a pit. They think all out houses cost £2.50 and we've never heard of flat whites. I don't have an accent particulaly but sometimes when I say where I'm from I can see the perception changes.

A (fairly senior) work mate in London asked me if I was from a pit village (he just assumed I was as I'm northern). DHs grandfather asked me if I had ever heard of Waitrose. My MiL thinks we have lots of spare income because we pay "Northern Prices".

Friend of a friend I met recently was saying she could buy half of Manchester for the price of her 4 bed in the home counties. She seemed surprised I went to private school as if they don't exist north of the Watford Gap.

I just find it really annoying!!! There is a ton of deprevation in Yorkshire (thanks Tories!) but also in London and across the SE too. There's also culture and nice areas in most parts of the UK.

Ha yeah, when I lived down south it was shocking. Work colleagues used to offer me a cup of tea in my accent. Constant jokes about hardy northerners etc. One young oik at work had the nerve to reassure me that it was "fine" that I was from the north, after being visibly and audibly surprised on hearing my accent. I was made to feel like an intriguing and slightly scary outsider on a regular basis, a bit like Edward Scissorhands.

I moved from London to the north east and I get people being just as rude to me, making assumptions about me, mimicking and mocking my accent etc. I think some people are rude about people who are different and some people are ignorant of anything outside of their own experiences. I’m sure most people who have relocated or married into a family from a different location have experienced the same.

YANBU - I'm a southerner who now lives up north, so no bias from me! The assumption from my friends and family that everything is dirt cheap up here vs the various southern places they live is maddening

Yes, definitely. It’s irritating, but not as irritating as Northerners who automatically conflate southern” and “posh”.

Your friend’s friend would find that in much of the other half of Manchester, what they could buy for the price of a four bedroom house in the Home Counties would be roughly… a four bedroom house.

Yes but only in so
much as my London based colleagues will joke about the weather “up north”, are appalled at our terrible public transport and baffled about how far away we are from other cities via train.

I would never be so rude to my northern cousins! I do love the different accents though so would definitely mention that, but in a friendly way I hope. I wish I was the one with the accent sometimes, maybe I should move up North haha!

I'm in the Midlands so no real skin in the game, and I am absolutely terrible with identifying accents so I never give much thought to where someone is from unless they bring it up. I'm afraid to say that the only noticeable pattern I've ever identified is with people from Yorkshire who like to remind everyone of that they are from Yorkshire at every conceivable opportunity. No topic of conversation is too bland for them to shoe in their knowledge/experience/opinion based on their unique Yorkshireness!

Obviously this is not everyone from Yorkshire, because as I said I wouldn't easily be able to tell of someone is from there unless they mention it. But when they do, it always seems to be Yorkshire!

Sorry OP!

The reverse is also true (and I say this as a north midlands born girl who lives in the south)

The idea we are all on £80k a year salaries and live in 5 bed detached houses and go skiing every year etc. my friends on far less income 'up north' have more trips than we do as their rent is half mine.

I really wish we could knock this north/south crap on the head and be done with it. I feel there's hypocrisy in the OP, about being patronised by southerners stereotyping northerners yet simultaneously stereotyping southerners...

I'm a southerner with a parent from the NE married to a Yorkshire man. I've lived in the north and south and love both and in the nearly 20 years DH has been down here he has never encountered negativity for being northern. I'm sure it happens, but I'm surprised at Northerners getting much stick in London because every place I've worked in London has had a very diverse workforce with huge variety in accent, nationality etc and no one comments. On the other hand, the shit we get from DH's northern family is tedious in the extreme; taking the piss because his accent has softened, mocking me for being "posh" and mostly insinuating we're financially feckless idiots for living in the "expensive" south east (where our jobs are!) rather than living in the north. They're often wanging on about how much better value where they are is - except it isn't, it's actually barely cheaper at all.

We've been considering whether to return to Yorkshire before our children are too old to relocate but I half wonder if we'd be welcome. The thread in the MN property section about moving to Harrogate has some real anti-southerner sentiment in it. Plenty of people are happy to pile into the over-crowded south east for good jobs and connectivity however. I think in the modern world of internet, media etc the differences between north and south today must be much smaller than they were (of course there are exceptions, London gets all the money and investment etc...).

It would be great if everyone - northerners and southerners, could be a bit less small-minded and stop making lazy assumptions about people from other parts of the country, or indeed, other countries, altogether.

I'm born and bred Yorkshire

of course…

Yes. Not all and not re house prices as I refuse to get into that except with the tiny number of extremely close friends who are currently buying. Just too boring.

I've lived down south since my teens (retraining notwithstanding) and it's my home. I can't wait to move back and don't prefer elsewhere but can't say I miss the condescension that sometimes appears when my regional accent which is still quite strong and mannerisms are noted. People have admitted to my face that they've been surprised by my achievements etc due to these things.

In my experience, a lot of northerners (not all, some are perfectly forthcoming) like to include a dose of self effacement or humility even more than many other Brits and I think other folk less used to that take it very literally when it is perhaps our own doing but not meant as an invitation to view us as daft.

With me, I think class is an aspect that may skew my experiences rather than purely N/S. I'm from an industrial background now quite highly educated and working/studying with people who have been in those circs for generations. I won't pretend to be the same as them on the surface but nobody is really any different either. I just used to ride muddy old ponies in exchange for poo picking whereas theirs were thoroughbred stunners with matching outfits. That doesn't matter where you're from.

I like having my accent mimicked in fun though, nobody can seem to get my region quite right and I sound nothing like the four yorkshiremen so it is fun to give pointers!

Also I find fellow Yorkshire people who go on about it bloody annoying though so nobody is perfect!

I'm a southerner who moved to Yorkshire and yes the southern view of the north really irritates me. This whole "It's grim up north" business, often said by people who've never ventured up north. My southern friend came to stay recently and before she came she kept making ridiculous comments about how scared she is at the prospect of coming north!
To counteract many of the stereotypes - most of the north is beautiful, we're in well paid jobs, houses in nicer areas are expensive, the difference in temperature really isn't as big as some people imagine (I know this by comparing temperatures in Leeds and my home town down south every week. Often the temperatures are the same or only 1 or 2 degrees different), yes there's poverty in places but I saw plenty of poverty down south too.
By the way, Londoners often think everywhere in the UK outside London is backwards, not just the north. Like I say, I grew up in the south east but I knew lots of Londoners through family. I remember someone from London asking me if we had buses in my town. They were wide eyed when I said yes.

Funny that. I've often found 'Yorkshire Born and Bred' folk to be totally up themselves, and they look down on everyone who wasn't fortunate enough to be born in Yorkshire.

The only place I’ve ever lived, and I’ve moved around a bit, where I got rude remarks about my accent, being a southerner(I’m not) and being not one of them and a ‘blow in’ was in West Yorkshire.
Yorkshire folk probably do get remarks made about the north but I’ve never met one who can’t dish it out too. And telling it how it is Yorkshire speak for being bloody rude!
As for celebrating Yorkshire day, seriously get a grip, you are not God’s chosen people!

I think that’s a bit harsh but SOME of them (not all OP 😉) do seem to think they’re somehow more authentic, and more salt-of-the-earth, than anyone else because they’re ‘so Yorkshire’. And it’s all they ever talk about.

From London and my son has to travel to northern cities fairly often as part of his job. His colleagues are always taking the Micky out of his accent and assuming he is a certain type as he is from London so works both ways.
He finds it funny and doesn't get offended.
My father in law was from the north east and although lived in London for years constantly called us soft southerners.
Again works both ways.

I think people are quite insular and parochial about where they come from. My dad was a very dyed in the wool and proud Yorkshireman and was convinced that nowhere on earth was as good as Yorkshire.

I left there at 18 and have never lived there since. I’ve ended up on the south coast, via London, Surrey and Hampshire. I’d go back to visit, but not to live.

I’m from the north east and now live in the south east. Most people are fine and I’ve had no problems whatsoever ever, occasionally they joke about the weather and say I’ma rubbish northerner as I’m always so cold 🤣. Very occasionally, I’ve been treated differently. A few, and I do mean just a few, people have treated me differently because they’ve heard my accent, it’s like they presume I’m below them as they see my accent as very rough and below their standards. It’s hard to describe unless you’ve had it done yourself. I also had someone say to me that I must be doing well for myself to be able to move down south 🤦‍♀️. One person told me that I must feel much safer now I’m not in the north east, they were aghast when I pointed out that the town we live in has a higher crime rate than where I’m from. Most though are fine and friends just occasionally giggle at the way I pronounce something.

the same can be said for anywhere though. I remember when I was a kid someone started our school who was from the South and was tortured as they sounded so posh 🤷🏼‍♀️

Wait til you find out how you private school types talk to us comprehensive school scum!

Perhaps have a think about the economic and political reasons for northerners 'piling into the south east' and also having some qualms about the SE- centricity of economy and policy. if you haven't already. Come on. I'm sure you have. Not saying it probably isn't tedious to hear this from family but what about the disparity of say, public transport, for one thing. Why should whole swathes of the country just be ok with this? It deserves anger. Look at the rail links between Leeds and Manchester compared to London and Reading or London and Guildford for instance? Re connectivity, well it would be nice if people could work remotely but that's been pulled right back since the pandemic so what do you want working people to do to 'knock this crap on the head' and move back north to make your life easier?

@doyouknowwhatimean yes, I agree, though would repeat that it's only some southerners, not all.

I've lived in London for 30 years, but I'm from the north east. I do notice people often equate northern with working class. The presenter of the Today Programme did it the other day with reference to "working class voters" in a northern town. There may be more white collar professionals in the south, proportionally speaking, but the north has them too.

A Londoner once asked me if we could get coriander in Wales 🤔

I think you missed the point of my comment entirely @Catlord, I never said I wanted people to move from the south to make my life easier. I'm saying lazy prejudice based on outdated stereotypes should stop and it cuts both ways. of course there are still huge differences, economically although poverty and poor connectivity are plentiful outside of zone 6), what I'm referring too is the stock-in-trade "oo the north is like this" - "the south is like that" inane generalising that needs to stop.

Haha Londoners look down on everyone. Having lived a few years in London and in several places in the SW I'd say people from London look down on everyone not from London - and people from outside London view Londoners with suspicion (due the expectation that they will be pompous, entitled twunts).

@Itstoobig I totally agree.ive met twats up north and down south!! The idea too and you see it on mumsnet is that it's all cheaper north of say Leicester- but that's not strictly true either if you are comparing like for like- we live in Bath- if I want to move to York or Harrogate or Edinburgh or Altrincham - there's little in it for a similar home. same goes for if you live in say Swindon and went for a relatively similar area on edge of Birmingham or Sheffield

Most areas have advantages and disadvantages, friendly people and idiots and the idea people can move round willy nilly chasing cheap housing is not straight forward either- WFH has made it a bit easier in some jobs but you have to factor in family, childcare, adult friendships, children's life stage and friendships - and job opportunities overall- not just your current WFH job- as these can end!!