"I'm an SEN mum"

[drspouse]

Of course my child goes to a school you haven't heard of.

Of course I have a full pack of complaint letters in my back pocket.

Of course I'll leap on you to exchange stories if you're another SEN parent.

Of course I know what all the acronyms stand for, DLA, EHCP, AR, LEA, we've got it all.

Of course the LEA doesn't bother providing my child with the education they are legally entitled to.

Of course I don't want to discuss your child's grammar school application. No, not their prom dress or school trip woes either.

(Feel free to continue in the TikTok vein, if you have contradictory experiences just put them down, no need for discussion, this is Chat not AIBU!)

I have a young child just the SEN assessment stage and am in KCC- I don't want to derail the thread but I wonder if those mentioning issues with KCC could please PM me? We're just starting the processes now and concerned to hear that KCC are poor.

Of course we've spent over £40 000 on private doctors, therapists and lawyers in the last 2 years to keep him alive and to get an appropriate school placement for him.

Of course his needs are so complex that in a highly therapeutic school for kids with very complex needs he needs a 1 to 1 at all times.

But of course it's fine for CAMHS to take 15 months to offer a first appointment.

And of course he would be ok in a mainstream school if he could leave class 5 mins early to avoid the crush on the corridors.

I'm a SEN mum, no i'm not trying to ignore you on the school run. I'd just like to grab my child and get out of there ASAP so he doesn't run off

I'm a SEN mum and yes I get very jealous when I see all the children participating in the school play while my child is sat on the side

I'm a SEN mum, please stop saying "he's going to be in year 2, get him out of nappies" - if I could, I promise you I would.

I'm a SEN mum, please listen to me when I say I know his triggers. Please stop forcing my child into uncomfortable situations which then lead to meltdowns

I’m also a SEN mum, for a long time that’s all I could see. I see me now and her, I know how rare it is but we both have everything we need to succeed right now. I just worry about the day that changes.

I'm a sen mum.....

I know most of the staff in McDonalds and they know my son and exactly what he has.....every day, yes I know it's bad for him but at least he eats!

I'm scared every day of what will happen when I'm gone.

I'm scared every day that someone will hurt him and he isn't able to say or may not even know it's wrong.

Yes my son has an autism diagnosis, no he isn't like Sherlock or the good doctor, no he doesn't have a special skill unless you count piling up chicken nuggets into a tower.

I know you know other children with autism who are virtually normal and talk and have friends and can do normal things, yes it is that bad. Yes it is a disability no it is isn't a different ability.

I hate McDonalds and that bloody Holland poem.

I know there is an issue with diagnosis but yes he was that bad he was diagnosed at two.

I’m a SEN mum and if one more person hectors me about the evils of ultra processed food and screen time I cannot be held responsible for my actions

Oof, I felt this one. I just try and avoid seeing or hearing anything about “UPFs”; scroll past articles, switch of the radio at the first mention, because their potential harmfulness scares the crap out of me, but if I removed them from the extremely limited diet of my already underweight child, he would end up in hospital.

I’m a SEN mum and no, he won’t eat it if he’s hungry enough.

Please forgive my ignorance, but what is KCC? And what is the 'Holland poem'?

Kent County Council

Welcome to Holland is a poem about how you should have gone on holiday to Italy but ended up in Holland which is nice but different. I like Italy. There is a version which parodies it and is about being dropped out of a plane without a parachute into a war zone which is more realistic I think.

I must find this parody poem. I hated Welcome to Holland on first hearing and it hasn’t grown on me!

After reading all these posts I feel I can't justify calling myself a SEN mum but...
I'm an adhd mum and I cry when I find the blood-covered plasters.
I'm an adhd mum and I cry when I see the scars on her arms
I'm an adhd mum and I never cry in front of her in case it makes her self-harm more.
I'm an adhd mum and every hour of every day I think about her pain.

@AmeliaEarhart Same here. Nutrition is my thing. I love cooking and planning healthy meals for the family. I'm a vegan but if I tried to make DS eat what I eat he'd also end up in hospital. His diet comprises of pepperoni pizza, cheesestrings, mini peperamis (only the Aldi ones, so I have to make a special trip to the next town to stock up), fruit twists and bbq flavour pringles. He used to eat vegetables, but now doesn't. I'm trying so hard not to worry about his diet. He's underweight, but won't eat any more tgan he already does. He won't let me or DH talk about food at all.

I'm a SEN mum and I need sleep

I feel your pain @BarbaraBuncle. At least mine likes the branded Pepperami (mini only though) which are at least easy to get hold of, even if they are rotting his insides.

It’s a big relief now he’s in secondary school and no one gives a toss about what’s in his packed lunch. I no longer have to endure endless “reminders” about the primary school’s healthy eating policy, with their “helpful” suggestions about carrot sticks (LOL!) and DS can enjoy his white bread Marmite sandwiches and Hula Hoops in peace.

Im a SEN mum and I feel like atm I just can’t see any positives.

and I’m so tired

I may or may not be a SEN mum (going through an SEN assessment at the moment). I am definitely from Holland. I am also an English teacher.

That Holland poem offends me on all three points!

I’m a Sen mum and my child is fine in school

I'm a SEN Mum and I lie awake at night worrying about how what happens if I have to send him to mainstream secondary school.

I'm a SEN Mum and I'm ground down from the constant fighting for resources

I'm a SEN Mum and I can't work full time because managing the constant school meetings, doctors appointments, assessments and care for my child takes up a ridiculous amount of time.

I'm a SEN mum and it breaks my heart to see my child excluded by other children.

I'm a SEN Mum and I wonder if my life will ever regain any sense of normality again.

I shouldn't laugh but had to share this. I'm an sen mum and got an email from sainsburys saying that we were the no.11 buyers of goodfellas pizzas in our city.
This is pretty much all our son will eat. I'm wanting to know the backstory of the no1 to no 10 buyers

@Whizzywig - we were the number 1 buyer of a specific sauce at our saunsburys.

I'd love the store to do a survey and see how many of their 'top' purchasers were SEN mums

I'm a SEN mum and I'm so tired of hiding bruises and cuts and scrapes and black eyes.

I'm SEN mum and yes I've thought of getting help 🤯 it doesn't exist.

I'm SEN mum and yes I've thought about the future but it fills me with absolute horror.

I'm a SEN mum and watching my child suffer and not being able to fix it has broken me beyond repair

I’m an SEN mum and I am buckling under the strain
I’m an SEN mum and I don’t know what’s going to happen to my dd when I die
I’m an SEN mum and I have carried on through cancer treatment on two separate occasions
I am an SEN mum and I loathe the patronising and withholding so called professionals
I am an SEN mum who feels guilty
All The Time
People making assumptions about stay at home parents gives me the absolute rage!!!! I miss my job but it’s utterly incompatible with caring for my dd

And here

I am a SEN mum and it doesn’t end when they reach adulthood.

I am a SEN mum and fighting LEA for the 100th time for the correct provision for my now almost 18 year old.

I am a SEN mum and more scared of dying than my dd dying 😞

I'm a SEND mum.

Of course I know lots of things about genetics and medical stuff. But of course I didn't google it and find those things in my ds. He has a rare genetic condition so I've had to learn.

Solidarity SEN mums ❤️