"I'm an SEN mum"

[drspouse]

Of course my child goes to a school you haven't heard of.

Of course I have a full pack of complaint letters in my back pocket.

Of course I'll leap on you to exchange stories if you're another SEN parent.

Of course I know what all the acronyms stand for, DLA, EHCP, AR, LEA, we've got it all.

Of course the LEA doesn't bother providing my child with the education they are legally entitled to.

Of course I don't want to discuss your child's grammar school application. No, not their prom dress or school trip woes either.

(Feel free to continue in the TikTok vein, if you have contradictory experiences just put them down, no need for discussion, this is Chat not AIBU!)

I'm a sen mum and wondering if any other sen mums know of any 'buzz' words to use when appealing for a specialist school placement please?

Mum of a disabled but not SEN child butting again, yes I did spend this morning in the police station because the school won’t take my son being attacked seriously. And I’m spending my evening writing emails explaining why removing my child from bullies may keep him safe but doesn’t give him and education and maybe we could tackle the bullying.

Been there several times and going through it again for a 18+ placement for dd which I expect to be turned down (and will go to tribunal). It’s a tedious task of trying to prove why the placement is more suitable than others that are on offer whist also persuading the other placements that they can’t meet your child’s needs. If you can get all other options to back down then LA have no choice but to place in your chosen placement (as long as there is a space), this is how it worked for us anyway. All MS places (after me telling them DD’s needs; said they could not meet her needs and/or could not keep her safe, 2 weeks before we went to tribunal LA backed down as there were no other placements. I’m in the process of doing this again, it’s draining but keep fighting.

@Lovemusic82 there's 1 school in our area (within a few miles) that have said they can meet his need but they're at capacity. I'm appealing and will go all the way because my son deserves an education. Its hard enough being a sen mum without all this isn't it!

I'm a SEN mum and I support my child not handing over his phone to school. I can't afford a full set of new doors, the wrath of the whole block of flats as the whole building shakes, a trip to A and E, and or the cop shop, new windows, replastering or helping ex to find new rented accomodation and as it has been wrecked...

I'm a SEN mum and it is easier to explain what isn't effected by DC's condition than explain what is...

I'm a SEN mum and I told people at my work that we had a kitten rather than try to explain where all the scratches come from on my hands. 💐

I’m an SEN mum and I am absolutely dreading my 4year olds transition from nursery to primary school in September.

Im an SEN mum of course our LA have refused an EHCP my non verbal son who is at the development stage of an 18 month old and on the ASD pathway.

Im an SEN mum and I’m worried what 15th April will bring as we find out what primary school he’s been allocated, if it’s his first choice then it’s one less problem to worry about.

Im an SEN mum and although I’m grateful for a job that is fully flexible around sleepless nights, early pick ups because DS is distressed, countless meetings and appointments, I still grieve my old career and independence.

Im an SEN mum and I can’t look too far into the future as it’s too painful.

@Curlygirli have they refused to assess or have they turned him down for an ehcp following assessment? Are you appealing? I have a child a similar age with an ehcp. I may be able to advise a little.

@saturnspinkhoop thank you so much, yes, they refused to assess and I have started the appeal process, more forms to fill and evidence to submit but I’m hoping it’ll all get done before he starts school.

@Curlygirli I may also be able to offer some advice. I went to my local mp about a school place for ds and got the specialist school we wanted. Non verbal clearly needs an ehcp and will not cope in mainstream... feel free to pm

So frustrating- typed out a response and it disappeared. Anyway, not surprised you were turned down. Same thing happened to me. They just want to save money. Your chances of winning at appeal are very high, but it’s likely to take a while until the appeal is heard. SENDIASS may be worth contacting for advice. You should have a local SENDIASS in your area. Just be mindful that sometimes they appear to be more in the side of the LA…. Ipsea and SENSOS are possibilities, but I’ve found them impossible to get hold of. You may have more luck. Ipsea do have great information on their website though.

@Helplessandheartbroke good for you! Glad you got want your child needs. Hopefully Curligirli’s MP isn’t as useless as mine.

I wonder (although I don’t actually know) if submitting a formal complaint might do anything. Your complaint being that they haven’t followed the law. Definitely continue with the appeal of course.

Also to throw in- make notes of all telephone conversations with the LA and send follow up emails confirming what was discussed. Keep all emails. I know I’m sounding over the top, but I’ve had experience of them lying about a previous conversation. Believe me, when it comes to your child, your memory is good!

Also, when the EHCP assessment process does start (and it eventually will) be prepared to chase up appointments for assessments. I ended up phoning round as nothing was happening. And be prepared to hold the LA to the timescales. Again, ipsea have great info on their website, along with model letters.

Good luck.

@saturnspinkhoop sorry you're struggling! Do you have a local charity that can offer any help and advice? We have one called point where I am (NW)

@Helplessandheartbroke Thank you for your concern, that’s very sweet of you. I’m actually sorted for an EHCP. I apologise that I wasn’t clear before. I have been through the process though, including appeal.

Apply for DLA if you haven’t done so already!

@saturnspinkhoop oh good! And I have thank you. It helps pay for private SALT and nursery fees. Every little helps x

I'm a SEN mom I break down sometimes when I think of the uncertainty of my child's future.

I'm a SEN mom I get mortified when a parent thinks its ok to challenge me in the street infront of everyone.

I'm a SEN mom it's hard when my son plays on his own with his Teddy because no one wants to play with him.

I'm a SEN mom I feel like his school let him down and fighting for an enhanced mainstream is exhausting.

Oh the Teddy bit made me cry a bit.
I'm sorry hen x

I’m a SEN mum and I’m physically and mentally drained but have to keep ploughing on as there’s no one else who can care for my DCs. It’s exhausting.
I’m a SEN mum and I can’t sleep as I’m so worried about all three of mine as they each have significant challenges which break my heart a little bit more each time I watch them struggle.
I’m a SEN mum and cannot believe this is our life.

I'm a sen mum and I've had 5 hours sleep in the last 48 hours and were up again.

I'm a sen mum and I miss sleep.

Sending solidarity ladies x

I'm an sen mum.

Someone on a thread I started in aibu just had a go at me for saying - I'm an sen mum. 😂😂😂

@Lwrenagain what??? I'm going to try and find it now. I've got you!

I can't find the thread can you send a link please?

@Helplessandheartbroke

I can't link it, I keep bloody trying! It's on a thread I had the stupidity to start in aibu 😂

It's called me vs sil - the most underwhelming of battles!

2 posters have now moaned at me for how I talk and I've found myself editing out words I use. Fuckers got to me 😂😂

I am a SEN mum but as DD doesn't look autistic she can't struggle

I am a SEN mum who worries about DD's social issues will push her back into suicidal thoughts or worse.

I am a SEN mum who can't be away from home when anxiety is sky high as I may have to drop everything to collect her from school.

I am a SEN mum who is close to burn out as soon as something else is happening as my normal level of stress is sky high.

Never heard of neurospicy but also don't think there's out wrong with it!