Do you believe IVF is ok?

[Ididivfama]

I’ve been reading a lot of the surrogacy threads recently (and I know that is a different topic) but I was curious to mumsnet posters ideas of ethics and ivf. You can see from my name that we ended up doing it, but I won’t be horribly offended by different views. I’m more curious.

Obviously it’s ’unnatural’ as a process and there is the issue of what happens to any extra blastocysts (I use the term blastocyst as they are pre-embryo stage and calling them embryos makes people view it differently - at least I did!) Even so, would you count leaving blastocysts to decay as abortion? I never did but I’ve read that view now so I’m curious as to how many people view it like that.

As is pointed out on the surrogacy threads - no one is ‘entitled’ to have a child. Is that the same for us ivf parents?

No, it was a nasty low blow. Which is why it was deleted. You very obviously wrote that post to get under that poster's skin. I'm glad MN deleted it.

Ok fair enough

I feel like that with my last remaining one. Fingers crossed for you.

Easily said by fertile people.

Oh well lucky you moneybags. Clearly too privileged to understand my point. If you can’t afford IVF you are offered a massive reduction if you agree to donate some of your embryos or eggs after treatment. You have to sign a form legally giving consent to do this before they will do any kind of IVF procedure on you. I’d say that was pretty strong financial incentive. Sure if you’ve got the cash or live in the right postcode you can pay the full whack without having to donate any embryos and can do whatever you want with them, but not everyone has that kind of money or luck hence why I’m saying I believe heavily advertising this as an option is on shaking ethical ground for me. Do your research before saying something’s untrue

😂 moneybags, ok.

@pponk while I agree with your argument not that other poor poster that you bullied, you sound really nasty and it’s super creepy that you looked up her previous posts then brought up her family leaving her. How low can you get ew

Yeah IVF is known for its affordability and availability to all 🤣

People might agree with your point. It doesn't mean they agree with your low blow. It's perfectly easy to make a point without being a dick about it and resorting to personal things specifically to make someone feel shit. Doing that shows you can't have a sensible conversation with people 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'll leave it there.

@purpledaze24 zzzz. fine to tell those who use donations that's they are causing trauma to their children, but not fine to tell the person their point is irrelevant when their own choices do the same? mmmmhmm

@purpledaze24 You've just told someone to do some research on Egg Share and yet totally ignored my post where I have lots of research and experience in the subject! It seems because it doesn't fit with your agenda - that agenda being raking away the right of women to choose what to do with their own eggs.

There’s no need to be rude. You don’t know how we afforded it and how it worked. There are other ways to make it financially viable by our clinic that didn’t involve donating eggs. 👍

If you want to use that analogy, though, it’s more like saying that arson is wrong but then posting to say her house burnt down in an unintentional chip pan fire.

@BassoContinuo no..it's nothing like that.
arson is wrong, but I like to flick lit matches at houses and see what happens ..

Exactly @BassoContinuo

I think that poster made a low blow in haste and instead of reflecting on it and saying ok yes I went too far, they've doubled down and made an analogy that is completely nonsensical.

They just look silly at this point.

It was definitely a low blow. From what I can gather the poster was only explaining the views of some (not all) donor conceived children. I agree with @fluffyguineapig that it's incorrect to invalidate people's feelings. The poster was only explaining that SOME people feel differently

Which other ways? So many people who need to pay for ivf and can’t afford it don’t have friends and family to fall back on. I’m not asking for your personal story but my point is I don’t think it’s that ethical to advertise donating embryos as a way to fund IVF. That is putting pressure on people who may be vulnerable (many people considering IVF are vulnerable MH wise due to infertility issues) and it’s offering huge financial incentive. Not everyone in that situation is in the best place to make such a huge decision. Donating an embryo is a massive decision that I believe is played down by fertility companies just seeking to profit. The decision should be considered and made on its own (eg. like it is for many people after ivf they then have 10 years to choose whether to destroy, donate to people or donate to science without any financial pressure). I’m not blaming this on individuals who can’t afford ivf and choose this route (also not assuming all do it lightly). But I think the NHS needs to do more to make it more accessible for more people

How was it her choice her husband left?! And how was it his choice he became ill? This isn’t about my view on IVF, I’m totally pro, but you’re just making stuff up to try and defend the fact you said some really nasty shit to that person, who I imagine was already suffering

There are different payment plans available and part of health insurance packages. I agree they could do more. But we were not offered this deal about donating eggs and neither were others I’ve spoken to. So the people I know who donated did so without that pressure.

@WithACatLikeTread
A. Even if it's easily said it's still true
B. Please don't presume my fertility status