Present issue - am I being horrible

[lazyalias]

My phone has been misbehaving for the last month. This evening, I popped into the relevant shop to get it sorted. In the end, as there were only a few months left on the contract, I got the early upgrade and damage fees waived (smashed screen), the new phone i wanted ordered - all good.

It turns out DP has actually bought me the phone I've upgraded to as a birthday present. He told me after the new contract was agreed (he knew I was going to the shop) and suggested I get a cheap sim only contract elsewhere. I hadn't said I wanted to leave my current provider as I'm quite happy with them.

Is it OK to v gently push back this present? I am grateful given the money involved but feel like phone contracts are very personal and should be discussed first. I feel horrible given how expensive a gift it is, and it was clearly meant well.

He should return it. He had ample opportunity to tell you in advance- he knew you were going to the phone shop and that getting a phone was a pretty good possibility. This one is on him.

Sorry do you mean he paid for the phone you have or you've ended up with 2 phones?
You're married - does it matter which bank account the phone payments come out of?
My husband and my daughter's phone payments accounts come out of my account and my phone payment comes out of his account. It was just how it turned out.
I've never thought of a phone contract as being something personal. It's just another household bill surely?

@Needmorelego- I think OP was saying that he's bought a phone outright, and she's upgraded her contract, so has a phone on contract, and also there is another that's been bought outright before she went to the shop by her partner.

A phone is a phone and by no means personal.

A phone contract is a phone contract and it makes complete sense, especially financial sense, to have a SIM only phone contract with a separate phone. I can see why you might think it’s personal, but you can still keep the personal nature of it whilst having the gift of a phone. They’re two separate things.

@SD1978 oh right. 2 phones 😂
One needs to be cancelled then. I think you have 14 days to cancel a contract?
@lazyalias it's just a phone. What makes it so personal in your mind?

Definitely cancel your contract, sim only costs around £8 per month.

@allthegoodusernameshavegone depends on the package. You won't get unlimited calls, data etc for 8 quid (if that's what the OP needs).

I get 2000 mins, unlimited texts and unlimited data for a tenner Inc vat etc with EE, and a free data roaming pass. But I've got loyalty discounts, I've had the same account since I was 17 and they were one-2-one.

I'm sure you can cancel the upgrade and go sim only with your current provider, can't you? This would save a lot on a monthly contract as well.

@Gobolina oooh interesting. I'm with Vodafone and I pay about £25 ish.
I may investigate......

Lol I get 30gb data , 2000 minutes and unlimited texts for £7.

I've had to threaten to leave a few times over the years, and back in the day before packages and when they had tiers of customers I was a big spender. I'm also sim only now so it depends on what they will offer you but definitely ask if they can apply loyalty discounts to your account. And I've had the same account for 25 years.

How much is your contract costing?

If it’s more than a data-heavy SIM only deal then why wouldn’t you cancel the contract? He’s saved you the cost of the phone, and from being tied in for years. I expect your current provider would offer you a decent SIM only deal if you wanted to stay with their service.

So many people complain that their partners buy rubbish gifts. This was a thoughtful one and sim only is so much cheaper than a contract.

Is the issue that you don't actually feel like you're getting a present because he's given you something you'd have been getting anyway?

Because I can't think of another reason for being so keen to give the phone company extra money over the length of the contract because your relationship with them is so "personal".

Go back to the phone shop. Explain. Give phone back and get a sim only and put in new birthday present phone.

Thanks for the replies. Personal isn't really the right word, hard to explain. It feels like an interference, maybe -- like it should be a financial decision for me to take? He doesn't like phone contracts so has made the decision for me. We're not married/financially linked in any way.

I have not said to DP I feel this way btw as I do agree it is a very nice present!

But a phone is not interference. A phone contract and a phone are two separate things.

@ditalini probably yeah, which is unreasonable of me given how rubbish some partners can be with gifts. He has form for buying practical things that he knows I'm going to buy anyway for myself. I'd prefer something smaller and picked out by him, but it's not his style and I shouldn't be ungrateful!

That's what I pay too. I did have a much cheaper EE contract but moved to a new area and couldn't get signal 😢

If he's bought you the phone you wanted outright so you only need to pay approx £10 a month for data, calls etc, and you're on a contract that pays off the cost of the phone, surely you're better off having it outright? Depends on contract length and cost obviously but for most it costs more overall to pay by contract.

I agree that what phone you want is personal but he's got the one you wanted!

8 quid!!! More info or IT NEVER HAPPENED 🤣

I wouldn’t like that at all and would not accept his gift of the phone.

Can he return his phone and give you the cash towards your new phone. You could say its from him? He should have told you what he was doing before you went to the shop, it's obvious you might have been upgraded early.

Not necessarily. Some phones are very expensive and most sim only contracts are roughly £8-10 per month. Over 2 years that's still £196-£240 over two years (£288-£360 over 3 years) on top of the handset cost. So you compare that with how much a contract with handset would cost over 2/3 years. Depending on the phone, it can often be cheaper to have a contract with handset.

(Used to work for Carphone Warehouse so I did these calculations for customers all day every day)