Present issue - am I being horrible

[lazyalias]

My phone has been misbehaving for the last month. This evening, I popped into the relevant shop to get it sorted. In the end, as there were only a few months left on the contract, I got the early upgrade and damage fees waived (smashed screen), the new phone i wanted ordered - all good.

It turns out DP has actually bought me the phone I've upgraded to as a birthday present. He told me after the new contract was agreed (he knew I was going to the shop) and suggested I get a cheap sim only contract elsewhere. I hadn't said I wanted to leave my current provider as I'm quite happy with them.

Is it OK to v gently push back this present? I am grateful given the money involved but feel like phone contracts are very personal and should be discussed first. I feel horrible given how expensive a gift it is, and it was clearly meant well.

It’s rude IMO to provide gifts that have a cost to the recipient. Also relevant that you prefer a contract and he doesn’t.

Not if bought in store (some networks will allow in store upgrades to be returned, but most won’t)

@Scrantonicity2 you're right although it's not quite as simple as that. I've still got 3 months left on this contract and a damaged screen that costs a few hundred to replace, so will have to pay those off if I go SIM-only (I expect). So will have to put up a sum of money upfront to accept the present, which I wasn't expecting to have to do. Also hate negotiating with phone shop people! It will definitely work out better overall though.

Just to give an example, my handset is £1300 to buy outright. If I did so and then paid £7pm for a sim only, over 3 years that would be 36 months x £7.00 = £252 + £1300 = £1,552
My contract (with the handset for free) costs £25pm for 3 years. £25 x 36 = £900.
So in my case, buying my iPhone upfront & getting a £7pm sim only, costs £652 more than a contract with handset.....👍🏻

But yeah, contracts are bad 🤓

This is really tricky - he basically should have prioritised conveniences over protecting the surprise - I wonder if you’d be annoyed if he’d just said “look I’ve bought you that phone, just get a SIM”? The issue is, in keeping quiet even knowing you were going out to sort this out, he’s given you loads of unwanted admin to do.

So a thoughtful thing has become a pain.

*slightly off topic, but for those new to the world of SIM only deals, I’m on Lebara which uses the Vodafone network - £6.95 pcm for the deal in my pic. I got the deal on USwitch.

@Underthemagnificentbeechtree if he'd asked me and suggested going SIM-only before buying rather than going ahead and doing it, I wouldn't have minded it not being a surprise.

Lebara looks really good, especially with roaming included, I must admit.

I understand why you are feeling the way you do.
He has bought you a boring practical present which is great but he comes across as a bit controlling, like trying to get you to do what he thinks is best for you. And as for not even telling you when he knew you were going to the shop……
I would tell him thank you but you prefer to keep your contract. You’re right that it’s going to cost you money because of the broken screen hassle so I would just stick to the one you have. Be your own person.

@Kwasi to be fair my £25 ish a month covers unlimited data and we use my phone as a hot spot for wifi at home - we don't have separate broadband.

Where do you get a £1300 phone on a £25 pm contract? Can you link?

Your phone wasn't free... That's what the £25pm is paying for.

What network is selling a £1300 brand new iphone for £900? And is only costing you £25 for 3 years with no upfront/end of contract payment?

That Lebara deal is good. With Vodaphone for £10 I get 14 GB data, unlimited minutes and texts. Extra charges for roaming as we discovered post brexit. Time for a change!

What network is the phone he got you on OP?
I found sim only great, I'm with giff gaff who run on O2 network can change my plan every month if needed. Only down side is if the phone breaks, need to replace that out my own pocket and no upgrades. Something to consider along with a good screen protector 😅

Same id love to find the company that's selling a brand new iphone at £400 less than anywhere else and giving me the luxury if paying for it interest free over 3 years

Ah ok. I've never had a contract for a handset (for that reason)! But I've not had to talk to phone shop ppl for 5 years! Once you have the phone, sim and contact you can usually manage your plan online. Mine is about £10.50 a month and I hammer data ...

I've just had a look at contracts for the iphone 15 pro max and the phone costs between £1200 and £1700 and the contracts are about £70pcm for unlimited data. There's no good deals, you're paying for the phone and for the data and you can either do that by paying for the phone upfront or, if you can't afford that, by paying for it monthly.

The addiction to constantly upgrading your phone to the newest version is very bad for the environment and contracts feed into that. If you bought a phone via contract then didn't upgrade at the end of the contract that would be one thing but everyone I know on a contract just gets a new phone and contract every few years.

Having said all that I can understand the OPs annoyance at her present.

Definitely cancel your contract. When you get a phone on contract you pay roughly 3x the value of the phone. Get a SIM only contract with the same provider if you want to stay with them.
Also we have a rule in our relationship no big purchases for a month before our birthdays or Christmas and no buying anything that we've said we like/want/need either.

With which provider?!!!!

I'm confused why would you have to pay the rest of the 3 months of? You've said you took out a while new contract without paying those 3 months off. So saying you want the same thing but without the phone would mean you don't need to pay off those 3 months. And all you have to do is move the SIM to the new phone, so no issue with still dealing with a broken screen.

Why is it obvious? The phone would have still been under warrenty for the duration of the contract therefore the obvious thing would be either a replacement or it being repaired for free. Not the OP spending more money for a new phone 🤷‍♀️

i suspect the contract at £25 for the iPhone is either a lease so the phone goes back after so long, had a hefty up front fee or is a misremembering if the last few years of extensive checking…

the cheapest way I’ve found to get a new iPhone is purchase from very when they have a discount on Apple, you can still pay over 12 months at no additional cost, and take a sim only contract.

I did read an interesting article about the rise of phone leases due to the handset costs and people wanting new models… it will be like cars soon where a huge amount of people don’t actually own their devices just pay monthly to use it.

I do on 3!

Oh - I get 120gb data, unlimited calls and minutes for £10 on ID mobile

If they let you can you cancel your new contract with the upgraded phone and get a SIM only contract with the same provider if you don't want to change provider.
It will be a lot cheaper that way. And the phone your husband has bought you is one you wanted anyway.

But you can still have a phone contract with the same provider just a SIM only one and it will be much cheaper than having a contract with a phone too.

Why can't you just put the SIM card you have now into the phone your partner bought you and not repair the damaged phone. I've done that before. Then when the three months is over just go into a SIM only contract