Present issue - am I being horrible

[lazyalias]

My phone has been misbehaving for the last month. This evening, I popped into the relevant shop to get it sorted. In the end, as there were only a few months left on the contract, I got the early upgrade and damage fees waived (smashed screen), the new phone i wanted ordered - all good.

It turns out DP has actually bought me the phone I've upgraded to as a birthday present. He told me after the new contract was agreed (he knew I was going to the shop) and suggested I get a cheap sim only contract elsewhere. I hadn't said I wanted to leave my current provider as I'm quite happy with them.

Is it OK to v gently push back this present? I am grateful given the money involved but feel like phone contracts are very personal and should be discussed first. I feel horrible given how expensive a gift it is, and it was clearly meant well.

Why would you keep a contract phone when your partner has bought you one outright? Surely this makes no financial sense.

Clearly he bought you a phone not just for your birthday but because yours was broken how kind. Personal that's funniest thing I've heard. We always discuss our next contract,upgrade to check it's affordable and the right one for us

Talkmobile use Vodafone as well. Here are current SIM only deals

It sounds a bit irritating that it's come around like this but ultimately it will save you money if he's paid for the phone and it's a pretty generous gift!

You can just use up the rest of your contract and then go SIM only so there are no upfront costs? As long as you can cancel your new contract then you'll save loads of money each month.

I'm with SMARTY on SIM only with unlimited data, texts and calls and data roaming for £12 a month. It's also monthly rolling so I can switch whenever I want.

@lazyalias why were you expected to pay for the damage? At the end of the contract that device should be yours and you don't have to pay anything for damage!

What a lovely present from him but I get how much of a pain he's given you too. Why didn't he stop you from going to the phone shop if he had already bought it??

My sim only deal is not as good as the Libre one but I can buy different bundles each month which makes it very flexible. Right now there's a 15gb, unlimited texts and calls for a tenner, but lots of different ones.
https://mobile.asda.com/bundles

Presumably you have 30 days cool off with your new contract. I'd send the contract phone back, stick with the same provider and get a SIM only deal. It'll almost certainly work out better.

It seems like a kind gift. Your upgrade will have a cooling off period. It makes financial sense to take the phone.
the fact you don’t want to indicates maybe you have some trust issues or past traumatic experience. Or you’ve got a gut feeling about DP. It sounds like you’re worried he’s controlling you. Or going above your head to make financial decisions, which I don’t think is a reasonable concern just because he’s bought you a gift. unless he’s given you / you have reason to think that.

It's a bit of a weird present tbh but I think he meant well. Basically he is saving you the cost of a full contract every month. Get a SIM-only and pocket the difference - but make sure the money you save is just for you.

@lazyalias - don't understand what the problem is tbh. At the end of your previous contract the phone would have been yours, so the fact it has a broken screen is irrelevant. All you need between now and when the contract would have ended is a cheap sim for3 months - or use the sim from your old phone on your new one? Then just renew the contract as Sim only on your new phone. I do not believe your new phone will come 'free' it will be included as part of your new contract, I'm pretty sure?

The problem is because HE made the decision for HER because he didn't want her to have a contract phone which wasn't his decision to make, it was OPs.

Why would you have to repair the phone and buy out the contract? You just put your current SIM in the new present phone until the contract expires then go SIM only. It sounds really thoughtful.
Refusing it and continuing with an expensive contract seems to embody the phrase cutting your nose off to spite your face.

He's saving you a fortune has bought the exact phone you wanted and you're not tied to anything.
I've just gone SIM only on Giffgaff monthly rolling, 20gb data unlimited calls and texts £10 a month

ID mobile.

What is not clear to me (haven't read all posts, only the OP's) is whether the contract phone has been opened. Surely the best thing to do if it hasn't been is to cancel the contract and use the thoughtful present. And even if it HAS been, is there still time to return the unopened 'present' phone against the contract, cancel that, keep 'present' phone, get Lebara SIM/SIM of choice.... so your DH has effectively given you your dream phone....

Its a pain, but it would be better to return your new phone - I would have thought you can just use your old sim in the new gifted phone until your current contract runs out in 3mths time? Then switch to a cheap sim only contract, there are loads of them around.
DD just bought the Iphone 15 pro max, we couldn't find anywhere that was cheaper on contract than buying it outright so I loaned her the money and she is carrying on with her old sim only deal.

Indeed there's no way a phone company is providing a £400 discount in a brand new iphone to a member of the public. Retailer's aren't allowed to discount iPhones.... Why do you think you literally never see them with sale/reduced prices anywhere...? They are contracted/obliged to sell them at the minimal retail price. The only thing they appear to be able to do is offer things like a free non-apple offer alongside. Like iPhone 14 Max Pro £1440 with free £25 Supermarket voucher (or whatever) even then... I think that's restricted, because you never see it....

The OP claimed to have worked in car phone warehouse working out prices comparing contracts and SIM only deals, claiming contracts were often cheaper for her customers.... Love for her to find a single instance where this is true so she can show us! Plus she has my doubts on understanding things anyway because she claimed she "got the phone free" on contract, when surely it's not rocket science to realise it's the phone you're paying for when you take out a £40 contract for 3 years, not the data (as data plans are obviously pennies for the mobile operators, how else could they seel huge data bundles for under £10 p month...but suddenly with a free phone it's £35??? )

I do.

Unlimited calls messages etc and more data than I ever use.

I run my business on it.

£8/month

@SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth I definitely need to check out some of these deals. What network are you?

I'm with you OP. It's your financial decision whether you want SIM only or contract. I don't think my husband would take it on himself to make that decision for me, especially if it involves switching from one to the other.

I do find separate phone and SIM only contract easier and cheaper myself, but I do think that is your call.

If you feel it's a kind of power play and it's always going to bug you if you do as he says, then ask him to return the phone and stick with your contract. If you are more interested in reducing your phone bill to £8 a month or so then cancel the contract.

It might be well intentioned, it may make economic sense, but I don't think a gift that forces you to end an existing contract and search for a new provider is well thought through.

You can get all that for £10 on GiffGaff. I’ve been with them for years, never run out of data including internet and I am on my phone a lot. £10 a month, no brainer.

When is your birthday? Because it seems to me that him getting you the phone was not, in itself, the issue. The issue is that your old phone broke, you need a solution now and because he'd bought you a new phone, but hadn't told you, you're now in a ridiculous situation where you have a new contract, a new phone and a second new phone turning up any minute.

I agree that when your phone was smashed, that's when he should have mentioned the new phone you bought. If necessary, he could have given it to you then as an advance present to avoid you having to go and get the old one fixed.

As for changing providers etc, I'm with you. If somehow I came into possession of a brand new, paid for phone, I'd be perfectly happy but I would still organise my contract and longer term costs for the actual services with my current provider.

This is a really weird interpretation. I don’t see anywhere that the op said he didn’t want her to have a contract. He saw something she needed, which is expensive, and bought her the item she needed but also the version of it she wanted.

now it COULD be he’s a controlling arsehole who thinks he knows best about everything but there’s no other context that suggests that… it could be he’s just a decent bloke who tried to do a nice thing…

No, I would get him to return the phone he bought back.

I think a phone is a rubbish gift between adults - it's a very practical/ functional (and - to me - quite boring!) thing.

But each to their own.

Either way, I think he should have checked with you about the contract. Perfectly reasonable to tell him/ push back if it doesn't work for you.

From OPs 2nd post

He doesn't like phone contracts so has made the decision for me

The OP claimed to have worked in car phone warehouse working out prices comparing contracts and SIM only deals

That wasn't the OP!?