What age would you quietly think is young to have a baby?

[Bebebaba]

Times are changing and first time parents definitely seem a lot older around where I am. Myself and DH are quite young but would like a family. Just curious to know what age MNers would privately think was young, or too young!

I say that’s age not because of good parents , nor about money but that life changes so much and is never the same enjoy some years with not having to worry or consider a small person. Enjoy the spontaneity of life.

Agist madness on this thread. Under 16 is too young for most women, over 16 it varies massively. I know 2 superb mums who gave birth at 17.

My Mum had me at 18 & I had my daughter at 25.
I would have preferred to have had more of a career under my belt and bought a house. We did eventually buy when she was 7 - but it would have been easier the other way around!

She is saying she would like to be 27-30.

Under 30 but that's because everyone I know who had one before this age couldn't financially support a baby at all before this age.

The thing about being "financially secure" - some people NEVER will be. Simply, not everyone is able to achieve high paying jobs or own property. Those are the ones that will probably have children younger because why wait.

Depends mostly on the person/couple concerned, how they feel about it and what seems right to them. The average age of other parents in the same demographic can be a factor to a much lesser extent as is when you meet ‘the one’ and how that plays into decision making.

Personally, 30+ seemed right for me but 40+ ended up being the outcome. I do feel under 30 would have meant missing out on doing a bit of living first, but don’t think that’s the same for everyone. Under 20 likewise but more so and probably the age most people may say is ‘too young’. But I met a very together and lovely couple that age in hospital and I thought they looked like they would be great parents.

Under 20.

I thought 25 was too young when a colleague had hers, but I had my babies at 30/32 and wished I had a bit more of that late night energy I’d spend on clubbing and all night philosophical debates about existentialism. I’m too knackered in my 40s to even consider another.

The problems of having children in early twenties are mostly social and political. I wonder if easier re entry into the workplace, and broader access to third level education will change the average wage of first conception. But we have a lot of work to do to prevent motherhood being so financially disadvantageous to women.

I was 29 when I had my first, and that was quite young in our group.

Travel, career, trying out relationships, money to spend on yourself, a life focused on enjoying yourself and finding out who you are.

Your 20s can be quite magical lived like like that. Mid life freedom is of course good in its own way, but you aren’t at the dawn of your adult life so it’s a different proposition.

Under 24. How could anyone even afford it before then/finished education/got a job/experienced anything much?

My mother was 21 and was and still is, so emotionally immature; stuck at that age (But I realise many people are not at all like this!)

I was 37, deliberately.

I dont think people think a young mum equals a bad mum.
But its hrder to finish your education with a baby, harder to get a job that pays enough to support yourself. The minimum wage is less for under 21s for instance.

And lots of prople think its nice to have a bit of adulthood without responsibilities, which again isnt about someone being a bad mum. Its about all the other things they get to be as well as a mum. Like the girl that travelled for a year etc.

23 and under.

Not everyone goes to university, some people will be on the same salary their whole lives, everyone wants different experiences in life.

@Beezknees not necessarily university, jobtraining/college, work experience/working abroad for a year etc...

IF you want to do all of that. Personally, having a child helped me discover who I was more than any of those other things you mentioned. Never really had any desire to travel either, I like going on holiday but the whole backpack thing doesn't appeal to me.

Depends what job you do. My job requires no formal qualifications so you could step into it at 18. Not everyone wants to do the whole work abroad and travel life either.

Sure they can. It appeared as though you were suggesting thirties parents are anxious and tired by comparison.

I read that a lot on here. How younger parents are so much more energetic and 😞vital than those in their thirties. I always wonder how poor someone’s lifestyle must be for their energy and resilience to fall off a cliff by mid-thirties.

I'd think 20 or under. I had my 1st at 22 (I'm in my 60s now)

Under 25 too young. Under 30 young.

eldest is 21, I’d not be thrilled if they had a baby now, they’re still studying and have a lifetime ahead of them, I’d hope they would finish university and have a good few years with no responsibilities.

💯

I had no desire to go to university and was working full time at 16. I left home just after my 18th birthday to live with the man who became my husband, and we had our first mortgage when I was 20. By the time I was 24, I'd had two major promotions, my husband had also been promoted, we had been married for three years, and had moved from our flat into a four bedroom house. Most of our friends had their first children by their early 20s, and we were the exception in waiting until I was 35. If we had chosen to have children at 20, it would have been affordable, but one of the reasons we didn't was because I wanted to be a stay at home mother for several years and we wanted to travel and not have ties in our 20s. By the time I left home, I was mature and experienced enough to manage my own life and support myself, and I was definitely not unusual in that.

@Growlybear83 that is good for you!
Most people do not meet their life partner at18!

Young parents can of course turn out to be very good parents. But it's not ideal to have a baby if there's not an established stable home life to bring the baby into. A lot of mothers have a baby because they want one rather than getting the basics right first and then having a baby. The welfare and life of the potential baby should be the most important consideration. Not the wants of the adult

But it wasn't at all uncommon when I was younger. Most of our friends were similar ages or very early 20s when they started living together or got married, and with two exceptions they are all still together.

As I said, good for you.

I know absolutely nobody like this!