What age would you quietly think is young to have a baby?

[Bebebaba]

Times are changing and first time parents definitely seem a lot older around where I am. Myself and DH are quite young but would like a family. Just curious to know what age MNers would privately think was young, or too young!

I’d agree that under 25 was young and under 20 too young. However, i know three women who had their first at 18 and they are amazing mums…

My friends daughter was 14 I thought that was very young. She had three now and is not 20 yet

Average age for mothers having their first child is 30.9 years.

A woman's peak reproductive years are between the late teens and late 20s. By age 30, fertility starts to decline. This decline happens faster once you reach your mid-30s

As long as someone has their ducks in something moderately resembling a row it’s nothing to me honestly, I wouldn’t think twice. Probably depends on your circle of acquaintances also, I have two sisters who married and had their first babies at 18/19 which didn’t raise any eyebrows that I know of but probably would have elsewhere!

Anything under 25 is young for a baby IMO.

Young - below 27
Too young, 20-23 maybe

If a 20 year old woman has been working since she were 16, in a stable long term relationship since 18 and living with partner/husband, I'd think she was young, but not necessarily 'too' young.

If it were a 20 year old woman at university, or maybe no staff job, living at home, in a new or unstable relationship then I'd think it was 'too young'.

Saying that, there are women who have babies at 16 and are amazing at it and have no regrets. The are also married, stable women that have babies at 35 which struggle.

I would say anyone who was still at school to be honest! I used to think anyone under 30 (I had mine at 32 and 36) but since then I’ve met some great parents who are younger, and actually having kids young has its benefits - for example when they are my age the kids will be independent(ish) so they get their life back. So I’ve learnt not to judge. But still at school is too young

I was nearly 25 when I first gave birth. But I think under 25 is young/ too young unless you're over 20 and happen to have either got on the property ladder young, or have somehow ended up with a windfall large enough to make it work properly.

Mine wasn't planned, I was naive, our job (same place) paid peanuts, we were private renting and could barely afford it, and we were so stupid we didn't know we were meant to apply for child tax credits etc - wondered how everyone in similar positions was managing just a tad better.

Having said all that, I didn't get onto the property ladder til my late thirties, and that was only thanks to family who had had a windfall.

I see twenties as young but appropriate, from 30 and under. Depending on how low in the twenties versus income/savings etc

Still a teenager, anything 20 or above is a normal age to have a baby.

Under 25 would be too young imo.

If somebody 26+ had been with the same partner for years and years, had no interest in travelling, had a job and a house (already a commitment), was content and wanted a family, then I would think its a personal choice.
If it was my own DC, I'd urge them to wait until they were 30 so they could focus on doing whatever they wanted, wherever they wanted without being responsible for anyone else.

30

I think it's all very individual. My sister has struggled MUCH more with adjusting to motherhood in her mid thirties than I did in my early twenties.

Why have things changed so much?

When I left university in 1992 most of my (degree educated, fwiw) friends got married within the next year or two and children followed within a couple of years of that and that seemed like the norm then.

Are we infantilising our young people or is it purely the very different financial situation in terms of housing which most young adults find themselves? Or the fact that society puts so muchly pressure on us to have so much stuff that we lose focus on what really matters?

And mine.

Under 18. I had my children I'm my 30s and I am now a shattered mid-40s parent. I have friends who had their children a 10-15 years younger than me and they have a lot more to give in terms of time, energy, etc. If I had my time again I'd have my children in my early 20s.

I would say under 20 too young but I don’t know really. I didnt start having kids til late 30s so I got to live life for myself and travel etc in my 20s and 30s. Now I’ve got little kids and they are brilliant and I’m totally ready for my ‘national trust/school mum era’. But I’ll be mid 50s by the time my kids are going off to university. If I had them at 20 they would be flying the nest now and my 40s could be for fun and relaxing and I would be a young grandmother (if they have children). I can see the pros and cons of both.

I’d say under 20 is young.

Other than that I don’t have many thoughts on it.

Under 23 is young
under 20 maybe too young
tbh I think more about too old than too young

Under 22 I would probably think that’s a bit young (in my head, never voice it)

I found out I was pregnant with my third the day after I turned 21.

Eldest will be 21 this year and youngest will be 18.

I know I was young and it was bloody hard work but I wouldn’t change it. My eldest is at uni, other 2 at college. They don’t smoke, only one of them ever drinks (middle child) and I don’t think they have turned into bad young adults at all.

However, mine are fully aware that I don’t expect any grandchildren until they have finished education and are in long term relationships. They also know it’s ultimately their choice. Eldest and youngest have no plans yet for even entertaining the idea of children, middle one thinks baby clothes are cute so often gets a reminder!

If I had my time again, I wouldn’t have had children with ExH, I realised as I got older and more mature he was an absolute bellend. I would also have liked to have been financially secure before having children, rather than scrimping the way I did, but again, that was also down to ExH being a financially abusive prick.

I would say anything under 18 though is young.

27 or under.

When I was younger than that, there was absolutely no way would I personally have been ready for the responsibility of a child.
from 24-26 I feel most people evolve and change so much, and it’s a critical time in finding one self.

Had my first at 26 (too young)...had my last at 39 (too old!!) 🙈 😆

Under 23 too young

under 30 is too young and i say that as someone that had 3 children before i was 23. Your 20s should be about you.

Too young - I’d say under 21 or so, limited life experience, limited education and earning ability. They can still make excellent parents but it’s much harder and I would not think a good thing to actively choose.
young - under. 25 I guess. I just think children should be bought into stable relationships with parents with stable housing and income wherever possible. And with some life experience. Also before this age I feel you’re limiting your own life very early on. Enjoy being young and irresponsible while you can!