The Reverse Ick thread…

[Firefly2009]

What inconsequential things (or not so inconsequential!) have you done to embarrass yourself and caused a partner or date to get the ick? Perhaps you got dumped or he was never seen again. or perhaps you died of embarrassment and just went into hiding.

haha don’t cringe, that’s hilarious 😄

My OH and I like our computer games, including childish ones, or ones we liked from our childhoods, which we play with no shame at all. 😉I think it's time for me to play my way through Lego Harry Potter again. Sometimes, after a busy day, we sit side by side, and play our own games in companiable silence.

My OH tolerates many things about me, that lots of people would consider "ick": I like to wear trainers without socks, for instance. And a silly thing that I enjoy is that when he wraps my presents, I like to be in the same room so I can hear the wrapping, but blindfolded so I can't see what I'm going to get. I think it gives me more pleasure than it does him, but he indulges me by doing it.

Agreed, but I was saying ‘I feel’ in an attempt to put my view to you without being too aggressive myself. I give up!

Will the people criticising the therapist just shut the fuck up? You are ruining the thread.

On a drunken first date I'd gone back to the guy's house and decided (after sex I think?) to blow a big raspberry on his belly as if he was a toddler. No idea why i did this. No second date.

I also once gave a guy the ick by making noise during sex. He brought it up afterwards with distaste and said it was 'distracting'. Apparently he just wanted to pump away in silence. I see him occasionally now with his partner and kid and wonder about their silent sex life 🤣

That's what I thought too. The actual thread isn't reverse ick at all, it's just ick lol

I had been out a time or two with a gorgeous French man. He came round to my flat unannounced as I was sitting on the floor eating my dinner with a bottle of beer in front of the TV. He was appalled and I never saw him again. I was a student and was using the table for studying.

@determinedtomakethiswork Here here 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

This!! Ffs.

I have a student who dresses like this but I think she’s very cool for it!

Going to sound like an egotistical bastard but I’ve only been dumped once and he just said he was in a ‘dark place fighting demons’ so it wasn’t the right time for a relationship…

I was dumped once for not changing my usual browny gold eyeshadow to electric blue like his ex-gf. Umm, I am blonde with brown eyes, so no, even though it was the 80s. My husband told me I almost didn't make a third date when he saw my tape collection, apparently, my Smiths/Bowie/Van Morrison collection nearly sent him running, but I was redeemed by a Woolworths rave mix-tape (with Charly Says on it)! We just had our 27th wedding anniversary, so it all turned out ok in the end. He was a flipping metalhead then too, so no idea where he got off criticizing my musical taste!😁

Do you understand the thread?

What's with all this earnest analysis?

I got dumped for owning too many books and apparently that meant I must be clever and it intimidated him

Tbf he wasn't the brightest button

My next boyfriend, my now DH, one of the first things I wanted to check was how much he read. I'm not sure it was the best move because it means he needs equal room on the bookcases and we don't have enough room for all our books!

Some of these ring true for me

I was once on a first date to a pub and took then getting my round in. Apparently that put him off so there was no second date

Another was he didn't like my hair.

I was seeing a guy for a few months, had numerous "special cuddles" and everything.

We had agreed to meet for dinner at a "posh" Italian place. I wore what I thought was a very sophisticated and sexy LBD (I know 😳) it was neither. Half way through dinner he announced that we were breaking up. He couldn't cope with my choice of clothes, he was going to say something earlier but thought he would see if I "got better" after a few dates.

I never saw him again. But he was right about the clothes, I cringe when I see pictures of myself from a few years ago. 2019 was not my finest year.

I thought I looked like Liz Hurely in "that" dress. In reality, I looked like I needed a proper meal and a boob job.

@Hereyoume it was a black dress, how bad could it have been! I'm confused too - are you saying you were underweight?

Reasons I've not been asked for further dates:

• He challenge me to arm wrestle and I won
• I wrestle men
• I have bruises from said wrestling
• I was better at identifying birds (he claimed to be an ornithologist and didn't recognise a robin's song)
• I was wearing heels and about an inch taller.
• I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted his babies by date 2.

@All2Well "It took me years before a friend finally told me that I have a habit of emasculating the guys I liked and acting like I'm in competetion with them."

I have similar interests/hobbies and I don't think you're to blame at all there. Surely it's the guys feeling emasculated, not you doing it. I wouldn't be too impressed with the friend telling me that my confidence level needs to be as low as the guy's! That said, it's not led to a lack of dates for me but I did learn to pick better men.

😭 Basically I have no figure, I'm just sort of straight up and down, and about five foot nothing, so yeah, there was no way that dress was ever going to look good on me.

Ever seen a 15 year old who'd nicked her big sisters dress and was trying to get into a nightclub with a fake I.D?

That's what I looked like!

A few dates in and he reeled off a list of celebrities that he truly believed were Lizards and I laughed.

😂😂

It's ick to me but I know I give an ick that I watch reality tv so there's someone out there for us all 🤣

I’m not a therapist but the PP was just curious and making conversation.

You don’t need to be so defensive.

And who gets so riled up over a perfectly polite response. Went from 0-100 real quick. I wouldn't be using her in a professional capacity 🤣

As a 17yr old - I was dating a lad who smoked. I didn't smoke. At a party one night he put his cig down for some reason and I picked it up and took a drag, I don't really know why - to be cheeky I think. He saw me and was DEVASTATED. He dumped me because I wasn't "who he thought I was".

I was heartbroken for about half a day, then realised I didn't want to be the type of girl who had to live up to anyone's ideal image.

Me too