If you have ADHD* what techniques helped you sort your life out?

[theduchessofspork]

I really want 2024 to be the year I sort my self out in health, finances and career (and daily life chaos). But, I have a track record of starting out with good intentions... and then a couple of months later all plans have collapsed in a puddle.

So if you have ADHD (*or just chronic disorganisation - I am awaiting diagnosis so I dunno which it is yet), all nuggets of wisdom would be gratefully received..

-meal planning (but keeping it simple)
-calendar/time blocking
-reading up to learn more about ADHD and why I do the things I do (YouTube, additude website, books on Amazon)
-the "don't put it down put it away" rule
-being kind to myself that I'm not a failure and try to learn strategies to help my brain
-apply for the access to work scheme if you feel you could benefit from support (you need to be in work)
-find likeminded communities online

So many others but here is what I've got for now. Got diagnosed this year but have some autism in the mix too.

I double or sometimes triple up on boring jobs while I read a book on my phone(as it's something I enjoy and keeps my focus on elsewhere rather than this is so boring and neverending I hate this etc) or I have DD come in and talk to me about her day (if she wants to).

So I'm cooking, sorting out the worktops, folding laundry, wash whatever I used etc. I do not leave the kitchen otherwise it's all forgotten about. Fleeting from job to job helps to keep me in the moment (plenty of sensory reminders of what's going on smells,sounds, visibly in front of me) while brain is kept busy by the book.

If at the end I'm too much into the book to let it go, that's ok because dinner is done and so are 2/3 other jobs so I just let myself go with it.

I read A LOT of books.

me too.

Bought a load of new clothes recently and now literally surrounded by piles of stuff that needs to go back, some of which inevitably won’t make it back in time.. I think going forward it just has to be one thing at a time

I haven’t tried it but I’ve been recommended the stylebook app as a way to manage your wardrobe

I have started to read The Curated Closet (Anoushka Rees) which I do think is useful

I have a new apple music morning alarm. AND IT WORKED !

I will need to find some more, cos it’ll only keep working in rotation with constantly added alternatives. I played Alanis “Thank You” while getting dressed and that was lovely. Properly put me in auto pilot for the gratitude practice facing the sun. Well… vaguely in the direction of the sun. Fog is thick today.

But I am so chuffed I got up and out for a stomp around the woods early.

Cleaned our bedroom by accident, cos was so hot and sweaty from the walk I didn’t want to sit down.

@AlienatedChildGrown thank you for all of those incredibly useful resources and ideas - I couldn’t find the xeffect Reddit page for some reason but will do a separate search. I love the idea of whatever you are trying to work on as wallpaper, and I definitely don’t use tech enough

Accountability - great - I will tag everyone tomorrow as a kick off. I think think it’s two steps forward one back for everyone (at best, in my case) but the ideas and experiences on here are just great.

@Dynamoat completely agree about prep, when I can get it going and it becomes a semi habit it makes life SO much easier, and I get a confidence lift from feeling on top of things..

Marking place!

@BertieBotts thank you for that tremendous list of resources. I had never thought of using ChatGPT for this though I do at work.

The idea of using kids techniques is a great one. When I used to research new topics for work, the first thing I used to do was buy a kids guide.

@TadpolesInPool I definitely have hyper focus and in a work situation I CAN be very organised (not always) - I’ve had a few serious burnouts over the years, and a few people have commented on my impulsively (!) jumping into things. I think slowing down and questioning more is a really valuable idea

@LoveRules yes I think taking time to think about key things you need / need to do the night before is such a simple game changer.. I need to get back to it

@InattentiveADHD I have that book! Have lots of just 2 colours of sock so you never have to pair them again was a game changer for me. I need to do a re-read.

Thanks for reminding re YNAB - I really do, so I really want to try this

@bjjgirl both scheduling and eat the frog do work for me so thanks for the reminder (am also jealous of your dogs, I would love to have one..)

I don't have ADHD but a combo of pregnancy and now peri menopause means my memory is non-existant.

I have a yearly wall calendar so I can see everything at once. I buy a nice one from not on the high street. All appointments, term dates etc go on the calendar. I recently found a website that sort of recreates a yearly calendar and put the things in there too.

I started using lists and reminders for more daily tasks like 'take vitamins' and set up Siri so I can speak them immediately or I'll forget!
I also put in time ahead so the reminder for the appointment at 12 will start at 10 so I have time to get ready.

My main problem is keeping on task with longer term projects at work where I need to do chunks over a long time rather than all at once. I find it much easier to start and complete things at once, as otherwise I struggle to pick them up again but obviously this just isn't possible with some things. Hoping to find a way to help with this this year.

I have ADHD. Appreciate some of these will echo others’ comments.

1. Accept that I have it and what works for NT people won’t always work for me. Stop holding myself to an impossible standard. I’m not a bad person because I find day to day life a challenge.

Being ruthless about clearing stuff out. I’ve done that this year and I honestly haven’t missed anything or could tell you what I donated or binned. I’ve focused on how I’ve given stuff away which has made people happier. If you struggle with this I really recommend watching sort your life out with Stacey Solomon.

If I can do it in one minute do it now.

Listening to audiobooks or podcasts for tasks I have no interest in eg cleaning and tidying. A spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.

Good luck x

My Google calendar has changed my life. The amount of things I missed or forget before I started using it was unreal. Everything goes on my calendar, with a colour and a reminder. I have got into the habit of checking it on an evening and in the morning. It's taken time to get into the habit but it really has made a difference

I don't order clothes online, it's too stressful as I always forget to send stuff back and then I'm just stuck with the bill and get really annoyed.

I go into the actual shop and try things on. Finding out my colour palette has helped (I use the colour season theory, but my sister prefers dressing your truth.) I don't think it matters what palette method you pick, but having a formula for clothes has really helped me narrow down what I want to buy and try on etc. I try to go during the week if possible so it's not busy.

Ah you have the book already! The things I found particularly life-changing were:

• Don't fill a shelf or cupboard, as you then won't have anywhere to put anything. Obvious I am sure to a lot of people, revolutionary for be!

• Put things where you need them, if that means, having two or three of something so be it. Having to go and get something to do a task is a massive barrier to starting, so take that barrier away completely.

• Simplify everything - have less stuff so there's less to keep tidy, organised and managed.

• I am pretty sure it's in this book but staging areas. I have one at the top and one at the bottom of the stairs. So stuff can be put there to go up or town when the next person goes. If I had to run stuff upstairs or downstairs every time it needed putting away, it wouldn't happen.

Also this....Don't assume you'll remember anything. At all. You won't.

I plan to read Atomic Habits. I realised today that I added it to my Kindle in Jan 2019 and still haven't got round to it. Classic. So I can't tell you if it's good or not but is the incremental approach and is top selling book on Amazon this year apparently

This thread is a god send. I’ve got ADHD and been through titration and can’t take meds due to my blood pressure going through the roof. The irony is I got discharged because I kept forgetting to take my blood pressure - classic ADHD.

I really struggle though, and some of these have been genius. I didn’t even know about focus mode on my iPhone!
have ordered atomic habits so hope that will really help as I’m finding everything so challenging

@theduchessofspork when it comes to clothes I have several things in place as well.

Three things that work for me (most of the time).

Never ever shop for a full wardrobe at once. One outfit at most , few pieces at a time staggered out throughout the year.

I have my clothes split into work clothes (boring, practical,don't need too much thinking about) , me clothes (this is where I can have a bit of fun and experiment, if they're good for work too, that's a bonus) , house clothes (comfort wins here , and my old me clothes get downgraded to house clothes when they're not great).

Cheat hack. If I'm not sure about something or want to experiment I go on ebay ( I guess Vinted is the trendy app now) and look for the item in my size and add to watch list. If it's buy it now I leave it there for a few weeks, if I don't actually want it I found that I forget about it or when I return to it I lost interest/I have doubts. If i still love it, I buy it. Same for auction, and if I can actually make the effort to check on it,bid , remember when it's due etc. that means I really want it. As an added bonus I can try a lot of things cheaper and if it doesn't work it doesn't work. I donate them or give them to friends or if really awful just bin. If I'm happy with it THEN I can look for the same thing or similar in shops.

In real shops I set myself a number of items rather than a budget . This doesn't stop me picking up everything, but it does stop me buying it all because I have to pick the bits I want the most out of the pile. And the usual questions do I need it, do I love it, will I wear it , does it make me smile/happy? 3 yes's it's a go.

For housework, everyday I do the following,
put a load of washing and and fold/ put away clothes
I do washing up/dishwasher on and clean counters.
Decide early in the morning what are we having for dinner.
I set myself 15 min timer, not longer than that, and in that time I complete a task, ie clean bathrooms, hoover floors, put things away etc.
If I have to do a big job, ie cleaning kitchen, I put a you tube video in the background of an influencer cleaning or decluttering. It seems to work for me. I only recently learn that a lot of ADHD women mirror other people, we bounce from each other, hence why this technique (or having a friend doing things at the same time) works.

Place marking x

Colour coding appeals to me but I can never work out how to do it effectively. Obviously I understand the idea of assigning a colour to a category but I always end up with about 800 categories and therefore a ridiculous number of colours that I then can't keep track of so it's completely pointless and actually adds to the general confusion instead of alleviating it.

Don't suppose anyone knows of a steps break down/tutorial to help you work out how to colour code things in a sensible fashion??

Hmm I don't sorry.

Could you give an example of what you tried before and what your thought process was as to why you needed more colours? These are what mine tend to be.

Dark blue - work
Pale dark blue - travel to work (morphed into travel to anything)
Hospital green - medical appointments
Yellow - social/fun
Grey - plan for task (housework etc. Can move around)
Orange - one off that doesn't fit into another, with connotation of "important" ie, note to myself to make a phone call.
Red - one off that doesn't fit into another, with connotation of "REALLY DON'T FORGET THIS".
Light blue - DC related (school event etc, but honestly school events might be red or orange)

I then wanted to see what routine fixed things I needed to work around so I did meal times in green, and self care or routine stuff in purple.

What I do have is entirely separate calendars for certain things. So for example, one contains events which is work, appointments, social. (Urgent also go here because I don't hide this calendar). And one is my time planning calendar which I have the travel, routine, daily tasks etc on. I have a third one which is almost always hidden which is recurring possible events I could go to, such as local toddler mornings etc. This is mostly obsolete now so I might delete.

So when I'm trying to work out when I can fit something in I open the time planning one but most of the time I have it invisible so it's not getting in the way of the rest.

Thank you @BertieBotts , that's very useful! Your post has made me realise that the reason it hasn't worked for me so far is that I am breaking categories down much too far, so for example assigning a colour for dental appointments and another one for doctors appointments or whatever, and then ending up with a bazillion different colours. Then I can't keep track of them, neither when I'm looking at the calendar nor when I'm scheduling the next dentist or doctor's appointment, so it all descends into chaos! And instead of being able to glance at the calendar and instantly see a picture of what's what, it's just an insane mess.

One of my issues seems to be that I don't understand how to do certain organisational things that are often recommended to help (and that most people take for granted as being obvious and self explanatory.) It sounds ridiculous but I didn't understand how to make a list for years, although now I have learned how to do it effectively I find lists very helpful. I think the problem is that I either break down tasks far too much or not enough - I had "lists" with basically one item on them that were effectively "DO EVERYTHING" and for colour coding I've gone to the other extreme!

I'm going to try to colour code again using your system. Thank you!

I'm the same with lists @JammyThing! I still don't know how to make them work for me. I put large long term goals beside things like 'have a shower' and then they get so long they just make me feel so anxious I stop using them. Like they become a demand and I avoid them. How did you learn how to make lists properly?

For dopamine hits I use music several times a day - a really upbeat tune on loud and I can motivate myself to clean the kitchen, and the kids often join in too.

I use simple colour coding on my work calendar

Red for important meetings/need prep
Dark blue for focus time (blocking out calendar to get my head down on a project)
yellow for meetings/events that are in person/require travel.
grey for leave/none working time.

Everything else I leave as default - so the coding is more to do with how I need to treat that time rather than thematic around different projects etc.

My recommendation is to experiment. Try it out with something like sticky notes in different colours and see how it is working. You can then combine or split as needed before you set up something which would be more difficult to change (or just stick with the ephemeral)

Hi I recommend routine or regular things separate from things which are not (or happen much less frequently)