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I didn't expect it to hurt this much

109 replies

Redtartanlass · 29/12/2023 22:59

Took my dog to the vet today to get put to sleep.

I knew he was ready about 2 weeks ago, wanted him to have one last happy Christmas with me and the kids.

I knew I'd be upset, knew we'd all be upset but my god! The pain!!! My heart is breaking.

God forgive me but I used to think that people who overly grieved about a pet had never experienced death before, so maybe that's why they were so emotional.

But this pain, is overwhelming. I've lost my dad this year, an aunt an uncle and 2 very close friends, and I feel worse for my pooch's death than I do for theirs.

My dad had Alzheimer's, so although obviously I was distressed when he died it was a blessing for all of us. He wouldn't have wanted to live how he was.

When my mum died when I was in my 20's it felt like I was physically punched in the stomach. The pain was horrendous.

I have lost many people since then, and thought I was less affected by death.

But losing my companion of 16 years has thrown me. I worked from home most of his life and he was my Velcro dog, he was always stuck to my side.

Even if I went to the shops he'd have to come in the car with me. He slept on my bed (I know, I know a huge mumnset no no!!) he was with me constantly. I couldn't even go to the toilet without him sitting dolefully behind the door.

He saw me thought my breakup, he was there when I cried into his fur when there was no one else. He's been my plus one for the 6 years I've been single. :)

He was my shadow and I don't think I realised how much I loved him.

I feel embarrassed about feeling so upset. It's only been 5 hours. But I keep thinking I hear outside my bedroom door, almost jumping out of bed to let him in.

He died peacefully in my arms surrounded by the kids. It was so peaceful and I know it was the right thing for him.

I feel guilty for being annoyed when he tripped me up as he was always at my feet. Feel guilty for shouting at him when he raided a bin.

He was the only one left in the world who loved me unconditionally. And he's gone.

I've always been sympathetic to friends who've lost a dog, but now have a better understanding on how much it really does hurt.

I don't really know why I'm posting. Maybe to hear other stories of people who've lost their pets and how they've managed to get through it.

I know I'm being a bit selfish too, as I'm not really supporting my kids, youngest is 19. But Ive supported them thought the deaths of their 4 grandparents and other friends and relatives but just can't seem to help them. Maybe because they're older, comforting a sad 7 year old over the death of a grandparent seemed to be much easier than comforting them over the death of my best friend.

Thanks for reading this far.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
AyrshireTryer · 29/12/2023 23:00

I am sorry. It is bloody hard.

TheOccupier · 29/12/2023 23:01

So so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful dog. 💐

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 29/12/2023 23:04

I’m so sorry. It sounds like he had a lovely life.

I didn't expect it to hurt this much
MahShinyShoes · 29/12/2023 23:06

So sorry OP.

Please dont give yourself any kind of hard time for mourning your beloved pet.

How lovely that he had an owner who loved him so much.

JustCheckingUp · 29/12/2023 23:08

Gosh OP you made me cry. They are the most wonderful friends we have. Sending you lots of love x

TheShellBeach · 29/12/2023 23:09

I'm so sorry. The grief for a beloved animal who dies is terrible.
Companion animals are like family.

Plofder · 29/12/2023 23:10

Oh gosh I'm so sorry. I'm crying just reading your post. I'm a dog owner myself and it must be so hard. Go easy on yourself. I think there's an organisation for bereaved pet owners

Redtartanlass · 29/12/2023 23:10

Oh you lovely nest of vipers you!!

Can't tell you how much your lovely comments are helping me. I don't feel so alone. And that cartoon. OMG! That's exactly how it happened.

I'm going to keep that forever.

Thank you. You wonderful bunch.

OP posts:
verrymerryberry · 29/12/2023 23:10

It is so so tough OP the pain and grief are real. please know you will not feel this way forever, but until then be kind to yourself. Flowers

StarDolphins · 29/12/2023 23:12

I’m so sorry op. I will be exactly like this when my lovely dog goes. I love him with all my heart & he loves me with all his. He makes me happy everyday.

He’s been your constant & been through so much with you. Let yourself grieve. Time (& lots of it) is the only thing but I totally get your heartbreak.

All my friends have been exactly the same.

Sophia89 · 29/12/2023 23:14

Cried reading that 💐
They stay in our hearts

MadisonAvenue · 29/12/2023 23:15

I’m so sorry, he sounded like a wonderful boy.

My boy is 12 and diabetic (still fit and lively despite that) and I dread the day he’s no longer at my side. They really are the most incredible companions.

Throwawaytoast · 29/12/2023 23:18

I am so sorry for your loss OP.
Growing up we had 4 lovely dogs, and each passing was so painful. But the pain does subside - I can look back and laugh at silly memories or smile at them now.
I have my own dog now and I dread the day he passes. But what 16 wonderful years you had - he will never have known what it was like not to be loved, because he always had your love - how amazing is that? He'll have lived such a happy life in a warm, comfy home with the love of yourself and your children.
I'm not sure if you've come across 'Rainbow Bridge' before, but I think this is lovely:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Sonolanona · 29/12/2023 23:18

I'm so sorry Op, it's so hard, the price we pay for loving our animals; we get unconditional love from them, but they break our hearts when they have to go.

I cried more over losing my last beloved pet than when my Dad died, because my beloved Morph gave me unconditional love. When my current dog goes I know I will be beside myself.

You loved him, he loved you and you were with him til the end and your face and love will be the last thing he knew... that's a good death.

But be kind to yourselfxx

Notsuredontknow · 29/12/2023 23:20

OP I’m welling up at this. He has absolutely been your best friend and of course the grief is crippling. Sounds like you were very lucky to have found each other. I’m sending you a hug x

DrunkenElephant · 29/12/2023 23:24

I’m so sorry OP, they really are family x

I didn't expect it to hurt this much
ClydeBank · 29/12/2023 23:25

Oh I’m crying so much. He sounds like he had a wonderful and very loved life. He obviously decided he wanted to stick around for a long time with his lovely family. What a gift u gave him to be surrounded with love and care at the end of his days. Such kindness. So sorry for your loss 💐

Changeychang · 29/12/2023 23:26

Well that's brought on some tears. I've not experienced this yet and admit I might not have really thought about the impact.

Dogs do tend to be with us every day and moving in a kind of rhythm with our lives (sometimes not entirely coordinated when they get under our feet). It's hardly surprising that you feel a companion shaped hole in your life that's making you sad. Rest in peace Fido!

supersop60 · 29/12/2023 23:29

OP I'm so sorry for your loss. You had a wonderful friend who loved you unconditionally.
Big hugs to you.

squeekyturkey · 29/12/2023 23:30

I'm so sorry. Don't be embarrassed about your feelings. Like you my dog is with me 90% of my week, either when I'm working, cooking or beside me in bed. I'm his mummy. He's only 6 and I hope he lives a long life but I often think about it.

A dog is with you for only a short part of your life but all of theirs. If you've given them love then they've died a happy dog. I also read that the reason humans live longer than dogs is because it takes humans longer to love. Dogs love instantly. I'm sure your doggy knows that xx

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 29/12/2023 23:34

I’m very sorry for your loss.
Our pets are family. Dogs are really special creatures and their love is such a blessing and joy. I’m glad you felt able to share how you are feeling, that’s a good thing, come back and tell us how you feel as the hours, days and weeks pass.
My dear departed mum always told me that the price you pay for love is grief and wasn’t she right?
One day I promise you’ll be left with beautiful memories of happy time, you may even laugh, you may cry. X

billybear · 29/12/2023 23:34

it hurts so much because we love them so much they mean so much to us, been there a few times,you have to think of them at the end, you know when its time, sorry for your loss try and remember the good times

Wotchaz · 29/12/2023 23:35

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog 6 months ago and still burst into tears randomly when things remind me of him.

He was quite an unusual breed, I’ve only bumped into 2 of them since and each time my husband has gone over to say hi and give them a stroke but I’ve not been able to get near because I know I’d be sobbing over some stranger’s dog which is a bit odd even for me!

LaughingCat · 29/12/2023 23:37

I’m unashamedly sobbing here and I can’t even blame PMT. I’m so, so, so sorry for your loss, OP. It’s one of the hardest things. My cats are the ones I love the most and my DH doesn’t care because he feels the same. I dread the day we lose one.

I just want to give you a big hug and tell you that it will get better though it hurts now.

I bet he was the best dog. Not just a good boy, but the very best. And you’ll always love him.

FinneganFois · 29/12/2023 23:41

OP, there's a poem by Rupert Brooke, called " The little dog's day", maybe look this up in the next few days?
It sounds like your dog had the best possible life with you, 16 is a great age for a dog.

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