MNers, be kind

[Muppet12]

Hi MNers, I joined MN a few days ago and have to say I am totally shocked at the levels of aggression on here.
I’ve seen and had some truly lovely comments in the bereavement and baby loss etc sections, which is wonderful.
However in other places on the forum every single thread I’ve either posted on or started has quickly degenerated into the OP being shot down and shamed over tiny details that weren’t the point of their post. I don’t use the word lightly but I found it totally inhumane.
c’mon people, we can’t just be kind in the good times. Please please remember that most people who post on a forum do so because they’re in doubt, pain or just needing some company. Kicking people
when they’re down is one of the worst things.
I’m part of a lovely profession-based FB closed group which is a truly supportive mums’ group (not afraid to say YABU or give people reality checks, but with no shame involved). I thought I’d give MN a go too but would encourage anyone who feels similarly about it to go looking for nicer closed groups - they do exist.

This

Also, don’t you think it is pretty damn rude to join a group and immediately start criticising the group, the members and the content, and demanding change?

Quite

'Be Kind' is the most twee, annoying phrase ever. Reserved for women. I guess you're a living Saint. So i will just say yes, its vile here at times. Trolls, racists, Ableism, sexism, MIL haters. Just too much hate all round. The bluntness of it can annoy me but, Im blunt too. Im not a mean girl tho. Sometimes I wonder why Im still here .

But then I remember heing unable to sleep in 2015, when my brother had passed away. I went on the Bereavement board at 3am, dithered for ages about what to type/should I. In the end I simply typed 'My brother has died & I don't know what to do'. So many people responded with kind words, encouraged me to speak about him. & most surprisingly for me, during the few weeks following I got a few PM's from people asking how I was. I wouldnt have thought they remembered. But it got me through a very bad time.

All of that is more important than your 'Be Kind'. MN is the same as the real world. Idiots abound, its just that here they have an anonymous voice so they use it, and are likely mouselike in the real world.

But when the chips are down and you're really up against it, there are people here with the will to help you through.

Thats it.

I’m glad you’re here @DeeCeeCherry I doubt we agree on everything but I’ve seen you give good advice and offer empathy and I’m glad you’ve had compassion at an awful time 💐

AnneLovesGilbert
😳<<<invisible blush
Thank you🌻

Same @DeeCeeCherry

Great post! And I am so sorry about your brother.

Also agree that whilst there are some non-so-pleasant posters on here, some people are lovely, helpful, and funny. And some people have lots of knowledge! I have learned quite a lot from people on here!

Vipers assemble
I've always preferred straight talking, clear and truthful to kind.
Kind is overrated.

FreshWinterMorning

Thank you🙂

& yes, exactly what you said. It's not all trolls and unpleasantness at all. If you always look for/at bad then thats what you'll see, I think. Just as we do in the real world, we can swerve all that when we want to (in my case, take a breather from AIBU sometimes!)

CandyLeBonBon
⭐️