MNers, be kind

[Muppet12]

Hi MNers, I joined MN a few days ago and have to say I am totally shocked at the levels of aggression on here.
I’ve seen and had some truly lovely comments in the bereavement and baby loss etc sections, which is wonderful.
However in other places on the forum every single thread I’ve either posted on or started has quickly degenerated into the OP being shot down and shamed over tiny details that weren’t the point of their post. I don’t use the word lightly but I found it totally inhumane.
c’mon people, we can’t just be kind in the good times. Please please remember that most people who post on a forum do so because they’re in doubt, pain or just needing some company. Kicking people
when they’re down is one of the worst things.
I’m part of a lovely profession-based FB closed group which is a truly supportive mums’ group (not afraid to say YABU or give people reality checks, but with no shame involved). I thought I’d give MN a go too but would encourage anyone who feels similarly about it to go looking for nicer closed groups - they do exist.

To be fair I've noticed the really nasty posters do usually get called out big time by others, so the OP is well-defended. Real unpleasantness isn't tolerated. Just human nature to have some right ratbags in any large group but it is generally quite well self-policed.

The blunt wit and ability to take the piss is one of the best things about MN. But you're right, being downright nasty or putting someone down is a different thing, especially as it takes some guts to put yourself on here with a question. I especially admire the posters who are questioning their own behaviour and do take on board what respondees say. Overall I think it's a funny, supportive & warm environment and you can always find something of interest or to challenge your own preconceptions or horizons.

Very informative thread op .

Its always good to have new members pointing out that the site is being used wrongly, no one would have noticed had you not come along @Muppet12

Phew!

Nah, I like a good bun fight

Isn't it nice when the OP reads all the advice and obviously acts on it?

I'm kind 😊

I've been on here for years. Yes there are robust opinions and I've been handed my arse on a plate more than once but aggressive and hostile posts are absolutely removed, posters are banned for breaching talk guidelines and the moderation broadly works.

Sometimes the softly softly #bekind stuff means people don't hear what needs to be said because everyone is too busy tripping over themselves to write using obsequious, obfuscating language that absolutely doesn't get to the point.

If you've seen anything you think is aggressive or abusive, report it. But the straight talking in here is what I've come back for year after year, because I've so often needed a sense check or a boot up the arse.

But there's no obligation to stay on any forum that doesn't suit you and as the old saying goes, this is not an airport and you don't need your announce your departure (unless you're on Flouncer's Corner, in which case, knock yourself out!)

Bye Felicia.

Lobs a bomb then fucks off. Will definitely be an asset to the site.

🍿

They're proving you absolutely right op.

If you think this is bad don't venture over to AITA on Reddit - you'll definitely need your smelling salt there!

Op has dumped and ran

Is this the return of the “you’re all bitches” poster?

Different sites have different ethos. It’s generally better to find one where you fit in and feel happy, rather than rail against one where you’re not

Be kind = shut up woman.

#nothankyou

Vipers maybe. Bitches? Absolutely not! 😂

🤣🤣🤣

I love mumsnet for handing out of line posters their arses on a plate!

Straight after this thread I looked at the one about a child's bedroom that had been done up (I think for a foster child) every single response was positive and encouraging, says it all for me.

Thank god for this thread. It's been at least 3 days since someone reminded us we should all #bekind at all times.

Yo @Muppet12

are you a) 12 or b) a muppet or c) both?

Grow up and maybe avoid AIBU as it does attract the crazies

I found it totally inhumane

Zat you, Dawn?

So op didn't come back...

There are some nasty people on here but if you avoid AIBU then you avoid most of them.

For straight-talking advice, there isn't any other forum like MN. However, if you want people to just tell you you're doing the right thing (even if you're not) then this isn't the place for you.

Problem is the fakers & fantasists that post pretending to be real people. That's why people harp on at details. And then there's "Only hearing one side of the story" problem. Although there's an easy way around here on that nowadays, like ticking a bingo card, people get so excited about soapbox outrage that they ignore lots of incongruent details.

Lemming like viper behaviour is annoying, tbf.