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Original poster

MNers, be kind

84 replies

Muppet12 · 29/12/2023 17:19

Hi MNers, I joined MN a few days ago and have to say I am totally shocked at the levels of aggression on here.
I’ve seen and had some truly lovely comments in the bereavement and baby loss etc sections, which is wonderful.
However in other places on the forum every single thread I’ve either posted on or started has quickly degenerated into the OP being shot down and shamed over tiny details that weren’t the point of their post. I don’t use the word lightly but I found it totally inhumane.
c’mon people, we can’t just be kind in the good times. Please please remember that most people who post on a forum do so because they’re in doubt, pain or just needing some company. Kicking people
when they’re down is one of the worst things.
I’m part of a lovely profession-based FB closed group which is a truly supportive mums’ group (not afraid to say YABU or give people reality checks, but with no shame involved). I thought I’d give MN a go too but would encourage anyone who feels similarly about it to go looking for nicer closed groups - they do exist.

OP posts:
Theasparrot · 29/12/2023 17:41

I've always wanted to say this Off you fuck then Cunty Chops

HelenHerriott · 29/12/2023 17:43

Theasparrot · 29/12/2023 17:41

I've always wanted to say this Off you fuck then Cunty Chops

😂😂😂😂. I say that in real life.

SerpentEndBench · 29/12/2023 17:43

4

#oldskool

Whatsthestorynow · 29/12/2023 17:47

This isn’t going to go well for you OP!

Icelandic9 · 29/12/2023 17:47
Bird Popcorn GIF

😁

henrysugar12 · 29/12/2023 17:48

Usually the people who yell #bekind are the biggest bullies of all.

GrumpyOldCrone · 29/12/2023 17:48

GCAcademic · 29/12/2023 17:38

So many wasted years. I hope you’ve made up for it since.

Show quote history

😁

Whyisitalwaysraining1 · 29/12/2023 17:50

RegimentalSturgeon · 29/12/2023 17:24

‘Be kind’ translates as ‘STFU’.
You be kind now, OP.

Does it?

i’ve also noticed mumsnet seems to have descended a lot recently. A lot of aggression, abuse, people joining threads to try and take down OPs when they might just be asking a simple question.

FrancisSeaton · 29/12/2023 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This , 100 percent

dastidlydaschel · 29/12/2023 17:55

Almost every post on here is why I love MN 🤣🤣

Mumoftwo1312 · 29/12/2023 17:55

I'm so heartened to read these responses because I feel the same.

Been here ever since my first pregnancy and I love it. Sometimes the best advice hits hard.

GarlicGiftsAndGlitter · 29/12/2023 17:56

"every single thread I’ve either posted on or started", says @Muppet12 - whose only post with this username is this very OP 🤔

Deathbyathousandcats · 29/12/2023 17:57

See ya

Lwrenagain · 29/12/2023 17:59

I once posted here asking for honesty about one of my behaviours that I've been to therapy for, a poster was honest, articulate and rightly berated me, she changed my life and that of my families infinitely for the better.
Did she mince her words? She did not. But was taking time out of her day to give me much needed perspective on something I've been doing since the 90s that was effectively going to ruin lots for me a kind thing to do? It was indeed. If I ever see her username I think, "I love that stern little hero" 😂
I love MN for the bluntness.
And I'm happy to tell people to fuck off even if it means "I'm policing the Internet" because my little minds view is, telling me to not say fuck off is also policing the thread 😂😂

Kindness and support don't have to be given in my (much disliked btw) way of x's and emojis, but the way the more sensible posters post won't alter how they reply and nor will i alter mine, I think it's important we remember that time and advice no matter how it comes across, to give a stranger is an act of kindness in its self.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/12/2023 18:00

If MN makes you so unhappy, @Muppet12 - why stay?

Also, don’t you think it is pretty damn rude to join a group and immediately start criticising the group, the members and the content, and demanding change?

Doyoumind · 29/12/2023 18:04

We're mostly women here so we must be kind? 🙄

If it's not for you, find somewhere else. Though it's the Internet. You'll be bloody lucky to find anywhere where it's all sweetness and light.

FuckingHellAdele · 29/12/2023 18:05

Lwrenagain · 29/12/2023 17:59

I once posted here asking for honesty about one of my behaviours that I've been to therapy for, a poster was honest, articulate and rightly berated me, she changed my life and that of my families infinitely for the better.
Did she mince her words? She did not. But was taking time out of her day to give me much needed perspective on something I've been doing since the 90s that was effectively going to ruin lots for me a kind thing to do? It was indeed. If I ever see her username I think, "I love that stern little hero" 😂
I love MN for the bluntness.
And I'm happy to tell people to fuck off even if it means "I'm policing the Internet" because my little minds view is, telling me to not say fuck off is also policing the thread 😂😂

Kindness and support don't have to be given in my (much disliked btw) way of x's and emojis, but the way the more sensible posters post won't alter how they reply and nor will i alter mine, I think it's important we remember that time and advice no matter how it comes across, to give a stranger is an act of kindness in its self.

I love this post.

LakeTiticaca · 29/12/2023 18:09

MN like many anonymous forums is a nest of vipers.

If you have ever seen the Fawlty Towers episode where Basil asks "have you ever seen my wife make toast?"
That sums up what you have to deal with when posting, however innocuous your post.
Women supporting women my arse ( to quote Jim Royle, another comedy great)
😉

Bonjovispjs · 29/12/2023 18:21

You're brave OP 🤣 That expression is hated on here and with good reason.

Fififafa · 29/12/2023 18:21

Clearly not been here long enough to know that there is a Flouncers Corner. Off you fuck then!

MumofSpud · 29/12/2023 18:22

U ok Hun?

Riapia · 29/12/2023 18:23

If you thought mums would be kind you’ve obviously never been to the school gate. Go there and you’ll come scurrying back here to apologise.

itsgettingweird · 29/12/2023 18:27

Be kind 😂😂😂

You know that's another way of telling woman to shit the fuckup right?

Which isnt actually very kind now is it 🧐🤔

MN isn't for everyone. It's for some if they stick to certain areas.

Rather than policing the MN community why don't you try policing yourself and doing what makes you happy and leave us to continue doing what we want?

Yozzer87 · 29/12/2023 18:29

That's the nature of the Internet. People like to drag others down when they can be anonymous but you can choose to not contribute or read and not take it seriously. Telling people off isn't going to work.

369damnshesfine · 29/12/2023 18:31

Some people on here are very nasty.

Like every anonymous internet forum there are always trolls and people coming on here just to try and bully people to make themselves feel better in their miserable lives.

Sometimes it can feel like posters are being mean but they are just coming across as blunt because it’s hard to sound gentle through text.

And I’ve also noticed that some OPs refuse to be wrong.
So they’ll post and then throws their toys out of the pram when others don’t agree with them.