What age to try a sip of wine?

[DidIMakeaMistake]

I need to add my father was an alcoholic and died in his 40s as a result of his heavy drinking.

I was a binge drinker and probably tried alcohol around age 14. I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Members of my family are also alcoholic.

DH family are your middle class functioning wine drinkers, I think drink in excess and I’d say FIL is a functioning alcoholic. I’ve seen him drink in secret at family events (eg hiding a bottle of wine and going to the utility to drink it). I obviously grew up seeing these behaviours with my dad.

Yesterday Xmas day my 12 year old niece asked for a sip of wine. Just a try of her mum’s wine. They allowed it, my eldest is a similar age. My eldest didn’t ask.

It got me thinking as to what age to normalise drinking? Or if at all? My DH drinks.

I know there are zero health benefits to this sort of drinking but I don’t want my kids to grow up with drinking issues and seeing their cousins of a similar age drinking and they’re not.

I think our DCs asked to taste wine in their early teens, didn’t like it and that was that! Once they went to university they obviously changed but now as adults they are only occasional drinkers.

As a wine drinker myself all my life, our Daughter is 15 and has zero interest in it. I'm definitely advising her not to bother, the financial cost, the hangovers, the anxiety and depression it causes, it is definitely not a good habit.

I think this generation drink less. It’s less of a thing for them. Which makes encouraging it even weirder.

Italian heritage, and it was normal for kids to have watered down wine with meals. From early teens also usual to have small glass of fizz at celebrations.

This comes up so often. The UK is much more strict on alcohol for youngsters, but still has a really bad issue with its drinking culture. Italy doesn't. Despite studies suggesting otherwise, there therefore be other triggers. So what is the correct answer?

Or maybe they don’t drink as much because no one has made a huge thing out of it, incl not getting extremely anxious if a 12yo has a sip of alcohol they won’t like anyway.

Having said that it is a really good thing. I remember 20 years ago, people saying they couldn’t have a good night out if they didn’t drink age get hammered. Whereas my two dcs are at Uni now. They go out, drink etc… but never up to that stage. They would look at someone saying they must have had an amazing g night because they can’t remember it very weirdly.

Do you and your husband drink alcohol? Also, there is a difference between encouraging and allowing. I would never encourage anyone, whatever age, to drink alcohol. If we have a party/barbecue/dinner etc, I offer people a drink, tell them what we've got, both alcohol and soft drinks and give them what they ask for. At a social event at home I would let my teenage children have an alcoholic drink (beer or wine) from about 15. All that said, me and my husband are very light drinkers. Probably only one, maybe two alcoholic drinks each at such an event. None of our friends are big drinkers either.

What age would you let your children have an alcoholic drink at such an event? Genuine question.

Oh, and outside of social events I don't think I ever drink anything. I did have a glass of champagne on Christmas day (just family) though and some mulled wine on Christmas eve (at a party). My teens, 15, 16 and 18, just had soft drinks, their choice.

Actually no, my 16 year old did have a glass of cider at the Christmas eve party.

We drink and enjoy wine. We’re not strict parents but we didn’t encourage ours to drink or give them drinks when they were children / young teens. Dd1 nearly 18 and drinks socially. Think there’s a big difference between 16 and 14. Lower sixth onwards feels appropriate though Dd v young for her year.

A family members child was given spirits by other parents at a sleepover. At 12. They spouted all the nonsense cliches stated above but I think that’s pretty outrageous personally.