The most shocking thing you've read on Mumsnet..

[PricklyPear1234]

Just that really.. (Kind of lighthearted/maybe not!)

i haven’t tried to convince anyone of anything

I stated facts about the dangers of such acts which woman should be aware of and not be pressured into doing and lied to

Karcher pressure washer and a nice powerful leaf blower to dry off afterwards.

same, I feel these poor women must've had horrible partners

@HRTQueen ummm no, that's not what you said

Some of us have wised up to the lies,
some never believed it in the first place

and some never will as …^

Care to explain why some never will?^

Would that be specifically cheese from the USA or from anywhere on either of the American continents, though?!

To be honest, I too have often thought it quite presumptuous that 'American' is understood to refer to people from just one country. If somebody told you that 'Arab' exclusively referred to somebody from Saudi Arabia or insisted that 'African' only meant somebody from South Africa, I can't imagine that being widely accepted.

The whole pack of lies that anal sex is as safe as vaginal sex and choking/strangulation is safe if done correctly

both are untrue

what awful even womens magazines have gone along with this dangerous and damaging information to appear edgy 🙄

the truth should be known before making decisions and no pressure should ever be put on women because other women do it or this is what everyone is doing now etc

Yes, I’ve read the thread and the link. I doubt you’ve understood what it’s saying or bothered to look any further.

Here’s an extract from the CPS guidelines on non-fatal strangulation or suffocation:

Section 75A(2) SCA 2015 provides a statutory defence for A to show that B consented to the strangulation or other act. However, this is a limited by section 75A(3) SCA 2015 which states the defence does not apply if:

• B suffers serious harm as a result of the strangulation or other act, and
• A either –
• intended to cause B serious harm, or
• was reckless as to whether B would suffer serious harm.

The legislation goes on to provide a definition of ‘serious harm’ in section 75A(6) SCA 2015 as:

• grievous bodily harm (GBH) within the meaning of section 18 of the Offences Against the Person Act 1861,
• wounding within the meaning of section 18 of the Offences Against the Person Act 1861, or
• actual bodily harm (ABH), within the meaning of section 47 Offences Against the Person Act 1861.

This gives legislative effect to the decision in R v Brown [1993] UKHL 19 which decided that consent by the victim to the infliction of any injury amounting to ABH, unlawful wounding or GBH did not provide a suspect or defendant with a defence save in special circumstances.

So there’s nothing unlawful about consensual choking. What a person can’t do is consent to be seriously harmed. But that was the law anyway. And the law already prohibited battery, ABH, GBH etc.

What the government did - quite rightly - was to make clearer that the existing law applies to strangulation/suffocation as well as to acts of striking, burning and so on.

And there is not and never has been a ‘defence’ of rough sex, unlike, say, self-defence or loss of control (a partial defence).
The rough sex ‘defence’ is an argument on the facts, not a defence. And even if it succeeds (and like you I hope it fails every time) it would reduce an offence of murder to manslaughter- because intention to kill is absent - not defeat any homicide charge.

I don't think using 'kink-shaming' as a catch-all is in any way helpful.

If one term can cover anything from liking to dress up as a nurse/fireman whilst having sex, covering each other in squirty cream or sniffing shoes all the way up to violent anal penetration, obstructing somebody's airways so that they are seriously struggling to breathe or removing the anchor from an ocean liner and then thrashing somebody with the massive rusty chain - then the term is utterly, utterly meaningless.

For god sake... it was a fun thread until all this.

Its fucking dull now, we get it some people are appalled at other peoples sexual preferences... you can link studies all you want but you won't change their mind.

People did the exact same to gays in the past (among worse) and guess what, they are still going strong sticking willies in bumholes and being happy with that.

Sometimes you just have to accept no matter how much 'paperwork' you find to 'agree' with your agenda, you cannot actually control other people who are free to do whatever they want with their own body.

So let it fucking go and build a snowman or something.

I just don't understand since when it became ok to try and police what other people get up to in the privacy of their own bedrooms (or wherever else they fancy doing it)

It's perfectly possible to understand that certain things carry additional risks and still enjoy it. Funnily enough all the women's mags I've read stress the importance of extra precautions and preparedness etc.

Of course everyone should only do what they feel comfortable with and not feel pressured into anything... but to be told 'oh women can't possible enjoy xyz' - 'it's all lies via porn/the patriarchy/the evil male species' is both ridiculous and outdated

You do you, and I'll do me (quite literally) thanks!

There was a poster who said she'd never met anyone who'd ever lived in a flat.

Same suburban bias goes for everything about driving. 'How did you get home from the party then?' Um, I took the bus lol.

I came here also for the thread about people adamant you’re supposed to wipe your arse standing up. The Japanese toilet industry has got it very, very wrong, apparently😮.

There was a thread about this and it was suggested that it's overweight people who have to stand up...

Yes, I’ve read the thread and the link. I doubt you’ve understood what it’s saying or bothered to look any further

Not on a work computer, no.

The press release is from last weekend.

The CPS guidance is from May 2023.

Anyway my point was to the PP way back that while she may think that strangulation is fine, the government doesn't.

I think it's very clear some people are just blind to the risks and that's why the law needs to change asap.

I also still find it shocking when I see people defending the NHS. There are good people in the NHS doing their best, but it’s an absolute pile of garbage as a system and organisation that causes thousands of preventable deaths and morbidity each year, and there are people who fall over themselves to claim it’s brilliant. It’s like Stockholm syndrome. No wonder nothing changes.

Just wondering how people propose that’s policed? You know, if it becomes illegal to do things you both enjoy during sex. Can’t imagine the Police actually being terribly interested in a neighbour reporting they think someone next door might be shagging ‘wrong’, and they’re certainly not going to be busting into people’s homes in the middle of the night to do a spot check…

The press release says, at the end:

The government has also created new offences to criminalise acts such as non-fatal strangulation, stalking, cyberflashing and the sharing of intimate images without consent.

“has also created”…it’s a reference to the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 (which amended the Serious Crime Act 2015).

It is as I described above. This is about amendment of how the criminal law applies in certain circumstances, subject to the facts each time. The government does not think strangulation is or isn’t “fine”. It just doesn’t work like that. 🙄

OMG again you are just implying that all us women who like certain things are absolute numbskulls.

Who’s that to?

Exactly- people harping on about hoping the law is changed soon lol Its not really going to change anyones sexual preferences is it?

@Boomboom22

Ta.

I only asked because I agree with you (not that I’m into being strangled).

The law doesn’t stop any sort of sex activity. It just makes it clearer that bad men can’t hide behind consent to justify causing intentional serious injury.

Right , I've reported all the sex rubbish back and forth as it's against guidelines to derail an entire thread !
There is a sex topic , please go there to discuss it !
Even the cheese was less derailing and boring than this !

globally 1.35 million people per year die in car accidents, 50 million more are injured.

150 people die from candle fires and 1,270 are injured.

In the UK alone 10 people died from fatal dog attacks this year.

I hope you have never been in a car, lit a candle, been near a dog etc... because if so you must be simply be 'too blind' to understand the concept of risk (things that statistically carry a far higher risk than being violently choked to death by a sex partner).