The most shocking thing you've read on Mumsnet..

[PricklyPear1234]

Just that really.. (Kind of lighthearted/maybe not!)

Mmm, not sure I agree. My brother is an addict and has been street homeless and he absolutely looked it. He begged too. He's now in temporary hostel accommodation and still looks pretty much like he lives on the streets, as to most of his hostel mates. He doesn't beg any more though.

I can believe getting choked is something some women enjoy. Some women also enjoy smoking crack - doesn't make it a good idea!

But I find the stories of women murdered in this way far more compelling than the "consenting adults" thing - we can't consent to this https://wecantconsenttothis.uk/

Thanks I'm the goat. Some of these posters have kids. It's unbelievable tbh, knowing how dangerous and how fast it happens.

Thanks! Those food safety courses coming in handy :)

Those landlords who no-fault evicted their tenants so they could rent the house in airbnb and wanted to keep their whole deposit that was being illegally kept in their bank account because the woman had the suspicion that they might have smoked weed because she found some "residue" in the sink.

Who is 'promoting' it? no one has took out a billboard and recruited others, in fact no one that has claimed to enjoy it even raised the issue.

No one came on here to say 'everyone should try choking'. One person came on here to attack others about their private sex life. People then simply told them they are wrong and don't speak for them.

Someone telling you to not talk shite on behalf of 'all women' are not forcing anything on anyone.

@Ortila @ladygindiva This happened to us too during Covid. Landlord still said we needed to leave so we had to live with my brother and SIL in his tiny flat with a three week old baby. Right before Christmas 😂 Landlord had seemed like a reasonable human for three years prior to this.

@Boomboom22 You go enjoy your sex life and I'll enjoy mine! I'll decide what I want a man to do to me and since it's got absolutely FUCK ALL to do with you, you might want to keep your nose out of other peoples sex lives.

I read the women’s stories, so very heartbreaking. So many lives cut short. Those who are left behind to grieve, don’t even have answers or justice in many cases.

For those of you that say you enjoy it/practice it with consent, do you have some sort of written agreement to prevent your other half being accused of murder? If you have children it seems like an almighty risk. Potentially one dead parent and the other in jail. Do you talk about it with your nearest and dearest so they won’t be trying to fill in the blanks?

I've lived alone for decades, I always open the door - as did my late DM (and every other woman I know). Where I live people don't have to make appointments to visit other people. UK society must be awful if it's dangerous to open your door when alone in the house.

I read a thread of a lady who was pregnant and was really worried about her baby having profound autism, she was absolutely ripped to pieces.

This poor girl was worried sick about being able to cope with a severely disabled child (I think her brother was autistic so she'd had first hand experience) and the replies were along the lines of:

"How dare you even get pregnant"
"Autism is a superpower"
"If you can't cope with faeces smearing by a 9 year old , you don't deserve to be a mother"
"You're ableist!"
"You need to abort"

it was disgusting

The aggression coming from the strangulation fetishists on this thread is quite something.

Keep going @Boomboom22 , the stats are very telling.

But she posted pictures of herself undergoing treatment in hospital beds with drips looking thinner and yellower each time? I really don't think that was fake.

I believe there's a middle ground between making a bit of kinky choking illegal and letting dudes who murder their girlfriends use it as an excuse.
It would not suprise me if all the men who use "it was part of sex" as an excuse to strangle their girlfriend to death had murder on their minds the whole time

Sorry, that was in response to @determinedtomakethiswork

There have been lots of fake threads but I'd be gonsmacked if that one was.

That thread about Claire was heartbreaking.
The amount of troll hunting and that nurse that presumably worked at the same hospital that said it was fake made it so bizarre

I really don't understand why this debate about choking during sex is continuing on this thread. Take it to another thread.

For me it was Birdy Friend, but can't find them now.

And this thread is a perfectly example of what a 'non-judgemental' place Mumsnet is! eye roll

Heaven forbid we like what we like in the bedroom (no choking for me thanks but that's just my preference - had a friend who was 100% genuinely into it because you know, she liked what she liked) only to be told that we must only like it because we are either a) married to a sicko b) conditioned by the patriarchy or c) both of the above

Trigger warning: graphic descriptions of sexual violence in the below link.

Those debating what one can or cannot consent to might find this interesting: https://www.lancaster.ac.uk/law/blog/how-the-law-enables-the-use-of-the-so-called-rough-sex-defence-despite-r-v-brown#:~:text=In%20their%20judgment%2C%20they%20held,ruled%2C%20is%20no%20such%20exception.

It is just a blog on a uni website so doesn’t go into it in huge detail - but it is an interesting insight into some of the case law on sadomasochism, unintentional violence, consent and the law.

Not for the faint of heart. Slingsby stays with me some 15 years after law school…

Who at any point said it was the MAN fetish?

Or even that the was any man involved at all? (you know lesbians can be kinky too right?)

One thing that actually did shock me about Mumsnet is how strongly quite a lot of people are opposed to BDSM. I really hadn’t realised.

Choking - not full on strangulation, but a hand tightly on the throat - isn’t even really extreme BDSM. But people really hate it on here, and would want it banned. That does really shock me.

@RogersOrganismicProcess some people who are living a BDSM lifestyle will use a contract - a written agreement of what is and isn’t agreed to. I think it’s pretty rare if BDSM is just an element of your sex life though, rather than you eg being a sub for days at a time. It’s not that different to the consent apps that some teens use, I guess.

I don’t know if there’s any case law around BDSM contracts. It is an established principle in criminal law that past consent does not equal present consent. For example, just because A has had sex with B before that same night, it doesn’t mean A automatically consents to sex with B again. In the same way, if you wrote on a BDSM contract that blood play or something else equating to ABH or above was fine, I don’t think that would necessarily hold as meaning that the same is always ok in future.

I miss when this thread got derailed into being about cheese.

@Violinist64 you sound like an amazing parent x