Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

I am suggesting that the absolute you've used is laughable.

As I see it-the options are this-the OP is granted these adjustments and when she doesn't require them-she's able to function well and perform at her role. There's nothing in her posts to suggest otherwise.

Or, she's not granted the adjustments and is unable to function at work, leading to poor output and may be forced into long-term sick (which adds even more stress to the team) or to leave (again, until they find a replacement-more stress).

Any issues surrounding workload-and let's be honest- there are people who will be sarcastic remarks regardless if it impacts their work or not-just because they see someone getting something they're not-needs to be raised through the management team and dealt with accordingly.

There's tons of ways people waste time in the workplace-none of which seem to get lambasted on here-fag breaks, coffee/tea breaks, chats with colleagues, walks...and the list goes on....but someone needs to a break to help them cope as they're ND and require it as per guidance from OH-oh, no. What shall we do?

I am absolutely sympathetic to OP's colleagues if they're feeling the strain of this arrangement. However, their issue is with the wrong person. It's the manager who should deal with it, not OP.

Makes me so sad. If only people realised these things work both ways. The more supportive a colleague you are, the more support generally comes your way when you need it. I posted above my experience, and the rest of my team knew I put 100% in and more and always covered for others without question when needed, so we're happy to support without a fuss. That is also what gets noticed as being a good team player!

Hold you head up high @Resentedpumpkin you're doing great. Have another chat/check in with Occ Health, HR or your manager, whoever was the most supportive in formulating your plan - go to them with this and let them help you work it out. Good luck.

But your example of "sitting in the middle of the office chanting incantations" is clearly ludicrous and you know it.

Of a lot of the ridiculous posters on this thread- you're one of the worst, if not, taking the prize. Well done.

Perhaps they need to pull in some short term cover to help the rest of the team out. But the tea. need to be raising their concerns appropriately and constructively, if they have any, not trying to bully the disabled person out of the job they've proven to do for 4 years!

No, most people do not 'have anxiety and depression during parts of our lives'. Most people are worried and sad at times. That's not the same thing as true anxiety and depression, which are illnesses, and are rarely just reactions to stressful occurrences, though stress can contribute to them.

It's reasonable adjustments they've been agreed by your manager. You need to make sure you don't take advantage of it

Well actually OP said
"I’ve been there 4 years, never had a problem before I’ve just managed symptoms and issues and carried on and it’s been hard. "
So she HAS had a hard time. She's just managed to mask successfully, like so many of us do, until the delicate balance of 'perfect' conditions no longer exists. Or we can't keep up the pretence anymore. In fact, her recent issues might be a result of reaching the tipping point. Whether triggered by work or something else.

Of course her colleagues are wrong to comment on her adjustments. However, this is a separate issue as to whether they should be resentful if their work is impacted. Saying they 'shouldn't be' = keep quiet and bear it. Saying they 'should' = do something about it via proper channels, e.g. complain to the manager. About the impact on THEIR work. Not blaming OP and certainly not making snide remarks!

But still, there will be an 'atmosphere' which OP talks about in her later posts. Of course when someone's unhappy with you and made complaints it's hard to hide even if they say nothing.

I don't think this situation is sustainable. If OP recovers in 2 months, great but what's plan B if not?

Also... there ARE numerous threads on here complaining about fag breaks, 'useless' chat etc etc. Loads of threads on poseurs who do very little work. So it's not like people are happy to ignore all those either in all circumstances.

For now, OP should just concentrate on getting better and ignore these people.

In answer to your question -yes, I'm sorry to say I would feel resentful. I have ASD and a very painful physical health condition and have minor reasonable adjustments in place. But if, for example, I need time off for medical appointments, I will always make it up.

I can understand if it is short-term/phase return based on a sick note but for this to be long-term and permanent I can see why colleagues would get pissed off (I'm not for one second saying the snarky comments are justified by the way). Being paid the same for working less hours just isn't fair, regardless of the need.

As someone upthread said, a PIP claim could help top up the difference?

Absolutely this

If you are able to manage your your load (assuming is a standard one) in the remaining time it is not only a not a privilege is it also none of their busines Some people log off, some people text, some people talk to others in the office.

It is impossible to focus 8 hours on a row. So I would think regardless of any condition you have they are the unreasonable ones.

If you can't manage the work load, a decent employer will be re assessing your work and tasks. Not everyone, regardless of any condition can do the same.

I definitely think they are the ones that got it wrong not you.

if the op's adjustment is to take a break, then what she does during it isn't relevant. I don't understand why you're struggling to comprehend that.

You are absolutely entitled to the breaks as per OH guidance.

I have a long term health issue and had to significantly reduce my hours, as I could no longer work full-time, and am not in a job where they will pay me full pay for fewer hours.

but you are, and are managing to return from absence and have great support.

yes, people will be jealous of working more hours for same pay. But that is their problem.

Evening, everyone. Thanks for the reports on this thread. We just wanted to pop in to say that, while the OP has asked if posters would 'resent' a colleague in her position, so we think it is reasonable to answer 'yes' to this, we will delete any posts that are disablist (or ableist) in content and will sanction anyone who seems to be a repeat offender or is clearly here simply to cause trouble.

It's not the colleague people should be getting annoyed at its management for not handling it properly. Its up to the management to ensure other people aren't being affected by the adjustments.

OP you have every right to these adjustments , I am 100% certain that you and anyone else would MUCH rather live without a disability and be able to do the work in the same way as other people.

This thread is utterly depressing and confirms my anxiety that if I tell my work I'm struggling with the job because of my disability I'll end up worse off. I'll just carry on feeling burnout and borderline suicidal Maybe we should just not work instead. Oh wait that's wrong aswell. I despair.

The absolute that I've used, that NT people think that they have a monopoly on empathy because autists cannot emphasise was mainstream belief amongst psychologists thanks to Simon Baron-Cohen's hypothesis of autism as extreme male brain. It remains a widespread belief in the wider population to this day.

It's only more recently that the double empathy problem hypothesis has been proposed, which attempts explains why autistic people often understand each other but not NTs, whilst NTs understand each other but not us.

Disablism and ableism | Disability charity Scope UK

What is ableism? - Sense

Agree with this.

I would absolutely not resent you OP. You've given 4 years of hard work and dedication and deserve a little flexibility to be shown in return.

I've known people take fag breaks longer than some of your breaks.

I hope for your own sake the adjustments are not needed forever - but if they are? That's ok too.

Just for an 8 week period you say? No, I wouldn't resent that at all. We all have challenges in life and, if they can be helped and supported for a short period like this, that's fair and reasonable. Presumably I'd be able to get support for a time if I ever needed it too.

Longer term, I may have an issue with it if it is impacting me and making my life harder. That doesn't mean I wouldn't have sympathy and understanding of your circumstances, just that it shouldn't make my own job more stressful or harder. If it does, I still wouldn't resent your accommodations, but I'd expect management to do something to ease the impact on other colleagues.

It's hard to say because some jobs can accommodate this sort of thing easier than others.

I think your colleagues are really out of order. Best of luck.

As a manager you should absolutely tell work. Make use of all the adjustments available to you. But if your management is incompetent in the first place then apart from pushing stuff onto colleagues they might just make token reasonable adjustments.
Surely, even then. 'Upsetting' your colleagues is better than sacrificing your own MH. Ultimately can it get any worse?

I too can't believe some of the comments here. Disability is a protected characteristic and your work, by allowing you to have these necessary breaks, are doing the right thing so your colleagues will just have to suck it up I'm afraid. I'd be willing to bet it hasn't even affected them a great deal and it's just bitterness. What about people who have diabetes who may need time away from desks to deal with hypos or new mums who need to pump. There are all sorts of conditions which need adaptations and certainty characteristics are protected in law so we can be an inclusive society! Being neurodiverse and having to fit into a world which is geared up for neurotypical people is not a privilege. Could you be suffering from autistic burnout OP? I really hope you're feeling better soon

Yes I would resent that and I am ASD. Because I have ASD perhaps I am lacking of empathy in this situ.