Found messages from a year ago between my husband and his family. Do I let it go?

[Turneas]

Found messages between my husband and his family from a year ago. The messages are horrible.
They all spoke Ill of me. His brother suggested we don't share finances when I was heavily pregnant and to do 50/50 even though he earns 3 x more because "one day she'll earn more, it's like that sometimes, as the breadwinner you have rights and power of her, it's not unfair it's just like that" and mentions of how Im going to screw him over if we pull our finances before the kids are in nursery (he doesn't want to pay for nursery).
Messages with his mum when they speak absolute shit about me.
Messages of his mum calling me a hoe and implying she wishes our marriage fails.
Etc etc... absolutely vile

His family was also very abusive to me in real life in the past, especially his mother.
I'm a mind to tell them to fuck off and not go to theirs for Christmas like I had planned on doing, they clearly hate me, but it was one year ago.
What would you do?

Doing this will put the OP AND her child in danger. He has abused the OP for years and just recently stopped. What do you think he would do if he found out she knows what they've said and that she wants to leave WITH their DC?

OP needs to keep everything quiet, enlist her family to help, plan an exit strategy, including a plan to move money from a joint account into hers when she is out the door, but before NVDH realizes what is happening.

OP--if you have money in your own account, be prepared to move it somewhere where he cannot find it, find the PW and take it from you. Get ALL of the paperwork in order, passports, financial info, proof of the "conversations" between his family.

Go along to get along UNTIL you are ready. Then leave, without telling DH anything until you are somewhere safe, hopefully with your family.

I would have to leave even if it was a year ago. They may be remorseful but it would teach them to be respectful. What a bunch of nasty fuckers.

Do Not Do This.

Look - I know you are really hurt. And the impulse to walk/run away from that is a GOOD one so hold on to it.

You have young children.

You need to be stategic, sharp, and as unemotional as you can be.

If you flee now you will be poor. You will give them time to organise while you grieve. By the time you are ready to slug it out it will be too late.

You will have no support while he will have loads of support.

Anyone who is on Mumsnet knows this.

Plan Plan Plan.

Say nothing - yet.

You will have the last laugh - but only if you plan it.

But people like that don't care.

The MIL would double down, take the oppertunity and make the son choose.

Best bet is hit them where it will hurt - finance.

I'd you have a real think back over the last 18 months you might find that he either has continued to abuse you but in different ways or you're being very careful and listening for cues he's getting angry and then you smooth the situation over before it can escalate. It's called walking on eggshells and it's a horrible soul destroying way to live.

I recently split from my stbxh, the worst of his behaviour is several years in the past but that's not because he realised and was stopping himself or dealing with things better, it was because I spent all my energy smoothing things over, making them easy for him, never expecting anything, taking on the vast majority of everything with home and our DC so he wouldn't kick off, it's no way to live.

ETA: Paragraphs and fix a word

Because he started it and joined in? He clearly agrees with them (Sorry OP to sound so harsh)

He was arrested for his abuse of you?

Over reacting? You're not reacting enough! Leave them all behind the wankers.

Oh no, I must have missed your post about abuse. So sorry. This is horrible. You have been through a lot you poor thing. All strength to you. The women on here have given you good advise that will get you out of this safely. Good luck.

Was he abusing you while you were pregnant? If so he was abusing you and your child.

You poor thing OP. There is no expiry date on this sort of disloyalty, however there is a small window of opportunity to leave before your little one is properly traumatised by his behaviour.