Found messages from a year ago between my husband and his family. Do I let it go?

[Turneas]

Found messages between my husband and his family from a year ago. The messages are horrible.
They all spoke Ill of me. His brother suggested we don't share finances when I was heavily pregnant and to do 50/50 even though he earns 3 x more because "one day she'll earn more, it's like that sometimes, as the breadwinner you have rights and power of her, it's not unfair it's just like that" and mentions of how Im going to screw him over if we pull our finances before the kids are in nursery (he doesn't want to pay for nursery).
Messages with his mum when they speak absolute shit about me.
Messages of his mum calling me a hoe and implying she wishes our marriage fails.
Etc etc... absolutely vile

His family was also very abusive to me in real life in the past, especially his mother.
I'm a mind to tell them to fuck off and not go to theirs for Christmas like I had planned on doing, they clearly hate me, but it was one year ago.
What would you do?

I wish I could just text them that I know what they've been saying, block them, and never see them again

You literally don't ever have to see them again!

That is really sad 😞
You deserve so much more.
I would definitely consider leaving him if I was in your shoes.

Are you able to leave him. He's the one who's supposed to support you, not savage you along with his family.

I wouldn't be spending Christmas with them either. Feign some kind of illness for an easy get out.

Like others say the main issue is your husband. It makes no sense to go no contact with his family if you’re going to stay with him as he’s the one who started bad mouthing you. They’re getting a lot of ideas of what you’re like from him. If my sibling told me they didn’t trust their spouse and said horrible things I’d react to that and might not come off well in the messages.

You deserve so much better, OP.
They are arse holes.

What would you say to a friend in your position, OP?

Would you tell them to suck it up, be miserable all through Xmas, stay with a man who abuses you and is disrespectful to you and allows his family to speak awfully about you OR would you tell them to pack a bag. book a flight, take a holiday, go see family for Xmas and to a new rental and divorce proceedings?

You need to put yourself first. Life is too short to spend it with people who treat you so badly.x.

Screen shot them, then go see a solicitor and see what your options are for leaving

I agree about keeping your powder dry for the moment. Quietly make arrangements to leave and join your family when your lease is up (though why not leave immediately, or when it suits you?) and consider your position at that point. Don't contact any of them again and keep your distance from your husband. Is divorce initiated by the woman frowned upon in either of your communities?

Give yourself the gift of divorce this Christmas. Give your child the opportunity to grow up not thinking this dynamic is normal or healthy. Hell present it to his family as the best present you could ever give them. But leave.

Doesn't matter when it was. He has zero respect for you if he could EVER say things like that. Knowing he thought that of you then, could you ever trust he respects you now?

Please don't do this.
It makes you very vulnerable.
Do the opposite. Keep quiet. Organise your escape. Join your family. Then tell him.

I would never forgive this (or the previous abuse TBH).

Leave, get a new life and make sure you get child maintenance.

Good luck x

Be like the proverbial duck. Glide smoothly and serenely on the surface whilst paddling like mad beneath. Don’t give any hints something is wrong until you have sorted out your next steps. Get advice on what you are entitled to, make sure you have paperwork on assets, household income etc.

It's not them I'd be bothered about, it's the snake of a husband that needs binning.

I don't think I want to make any points here, EXCEPT to say there would appear to be cultural differences in play that make the definitions of reasonable and unreasonable behaviours un-English. However, I would not have a relationship with a person who thought that religion or race was an important factor in their or my life.

Never posted before but please don’t accept this total misogynistic arsehole and his appalling family in your life. I’d be tempted to go there for xmas and play a game of guess who said what as a nice surprise before changing the locks…

Please be safe in all of this.
You may feel angry but channel that into planning a safe exit for yourself and your child, not on confronting these awful people.
Your husband is the main problem, and his family a distracting sideshow.

Talk to your family/friends and show them the messages so they know what you're dealing with. Then figure out your exit strategy. Consult a lawyer.

Consult a solicitor before saying anything and particularly before taking your child out of the country - you want to make sure you're doing everything the right way.

Why are you with a man who undermines you and gets his family onboard with that.

Dump him. You are so much more worth than that.

Honestly, life is great without those kind of fuckwits around.

You deserve so much better, OP. I like to think you have the courage to leave in a month and go back to your family. Also, I'd plan and do it without telling him, then there's no way he can persuade you to stay or possibly abuse you in the meantime. Could you do this and take little one(s) with you?

It’s probably not the sensible or mature option but I would also be planning on messing up their family Christmas by turning up with those screenshots.

Fuck it, get some of those make-your-own crackers and put the print outs in them.

Interested to learn what culture allows people to treat other's like cunts...

This needs to be brought out into the open and talked through. It may be make or break but it will fester if left like this. So disrespectful

Escape as soon as you can. This relationship is only going or go one way.